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Chapter Thirty-Four

RAIN

L ately, I hated the weekends the most. Saturday morning, I woke up and had breakfast with my dads. They both wanted to check in on me, and Jack insisted. When I finally left there, I passed by Torian's suite, but didn't stop.

Aspen was avoiding me for a reason. I was pretty sure that reason had a collection of letters which stood for something my dad would know like PTSD, or something with an A for anxiety.

I also trusted her enough to give her space.

She was healing, and we'd be closer if I didn't turn into one of those psycho girlfriends.

Sadly, it was easier to say it than believe it.

And sure, a trip to the atrium helped. I noticed Jeff from biology, but he was with his other faeling friends. Lynn, the girl who'd helped me when I'd first come here saw me - and then pointedly pretended like she didn't. So, once Jack was done relieving himself, I headed back up to my room.

I had studying to do, after all. Ms. Rhodes - it was still kinda weird to know I could call her Ivy - had been working to find the limitations of my shadows.

In the controlled environment of our classroom, they seemed to work differently than they had with the Hunt.

Sadly, my own shadow had turned normal again too.

So I picked up my tablet and checked on my literature assignment. With the proper book loaded, I lay back on my bed, grabbed the stone pendant she'd given me, trying to remember where I'd left off in this story. Sadly, school-assigned novels were rarely the type which sucked me in.

And while I read, I pushed little bits of Wild magic into the stone.

This was my homework for the class I was calling Intro to Shadow Magic.

On my transcripts, it still looked like English Lit, but that wasn't what I was studying.

My task here was to concentrate on something else - the reading - while starting and stopping my power, giving me control of its use.

Two chapters later, Jack woke up on his perch and started looking around. "Court!" he declared.

A knock sounded on my door.

For a moment, I hoped it was Aspen, but I knew that was dumb. She didn't knock. She'd just go into her own room, then come across the bathroom. So, if this was someone from the court, then maybe Keir had come to check on me?

But when I opened the door, it was Wilder on the other side. "Hey," he said.

"Um, come in?" I stepped back.

He made it halfway into the room before he paused, looking at a plant. "Whoa," he breathed, immediately moving closer to caress the thorny thing. "Hawke said it was vibrant, but this one's almost blue!"

"So, cool thing?" I asked, because the leaves looked pretty green to me.

Wilder just tipped a vine up to reveal indigo-colored buds.

"This shade is the most loyal of all the Assassins," he explained.

"The lighter the flowers, the more they work like motion detectors, but this kind?

She'll learn who your friends are and who is intruding.

Yeah, you're a beautiful lady, aren't ya?

" He crooned the last part to the plant.

"Um, I've been calling it a him and named him Spike."

"Well, Spike's a she, because the males have different flowers." Wilder smiled at me. "What about the others, do they have names too?"

"Marigold is the Icebreaker," I said. "I thought it was funny, because it's marigold-colored, but that's also a plant. Kinda like naming a dog Kitty."

He chuckled. "I like how you think."

"And the one in the bathtub is Soup," I added. "Which just had to be done."

"So Glow, Spike, Soup, and Marigold."

"The Avalon Petticoat is named Lace," I said. "Since her flowers look like lace."

Wilder caressed the Assassin vine one more time before stepping away and looking around my room. "You need better chairs. "

"Yep." But that was beside the point. "Wilder, why are you here?"

He grunted, ignoring me as he gestured to a spot beside Jack's perch.

White light glowed on his fingers, and against the wall, wood supports began to form into existence as if an artist was painting them in with will alone.

Then came padding, and within seconds, the whole thing was covered with a minty-green velvet, revealing a plush reading chair that matched the rest of my room.

"Much better," he said, dropping into it.

"Uh..." Did that really just happen? "No frost or plants?"

"Signs of untrained power," Wilder explained. "And yes, we're both talking about Aspen. No, I don't do that. My magic works exactly like all those Summer suck-ups. The difference is the season. Nothing else."

"Oh." So I sat on the edge of my bed, facing him. "And speaking of Aspen..."

"Part of why I'm here," he assured me. "So you know, Keir is the other part."

"Yeah?" For some reason, my guts clenched as a wave of worry washed over me.

"He and Torian had a little disagreement."

"About?" I pressed.

"Well, Torian's a prick," Wilder said, "and Keir is patient, but does have a limit. Torian pushed, so Keir pushed back, and now Keir's in his own room again."

"Keir pulled away?"

"Was sent," Wilder clarified. "Hence the prick part. He's not out of the court, though. Rain, we all agree he's still a part of the gang, or whatever you want to call us."

"Who's us?" I asked.

"Aspen, Hawke, and me."

"But not Torian." I nodded, because that made sense.

"So I came to see what you think," Wilder went on. "You see, you're a part of the court too. That means we value your opinion, but I'm hoping I can sway you to keep Keir in."

"Uh, yeah! " Because I was pretty much the reason he'd been invited in the first place.

Wilder just nodded. "Then as far as I care, that settles it. See, politics are easy."

And that made me laugh. "Hate to break it to you, but this is called drama, not politics. "

"Pretty much the same thing," Wilder assured me. Then he shifted in the chair so he could rest his elbows on his knees. "So how are you doing with everyone hiding in Torian's suite while you're not?"

"Rain!" Jack grumbled. "Rain-Rain. Morrigan! Court!"

"I know, Jack," Wilder said.

"And you're not really helping," I told the crow. "I appreciate you standing up for me and all, but Aspen needs space."

"In truth," Wilder said, "she needs the lack of it. What she's craving is having her brother with her so he can chase away the issues. Torian will also never admit it, but he's cracking too. Rain, they aren't avoiding you. They're trying to stabilize each other."

"I know," I said, and yet it felt empty.

His eyes narrowed. "So you're aware, that has an edge when you say it, as if there's a lie waiting underneath."

"I know, but don't like it," I clarified. "Fuck, I miss her, ok? I feel like I did something wrong! I mean, how long has it been since the Hunt came?"

"Almost two weeks."

I thrust out a hand. "That! It's been two weeks since I've been able to cuddle up with her, or kiss her, or any of the things we used to do. Instead, I find plants in my room. They prove she's been here, but she came when I wasn't here, almost like she did it on purpose!"

"She did." He lifted a hand, begging for a chance to explain. "Rain, her magical control is fragile right now. The part no one has bothered to mention is how strong emotions distract us. They make it hard to keep the shields, or brakes, or whatever-you-want-to-call-it in place."

"Yeah, that's why my shadows activate when I get pissed, huh?"

"Mhm," he agreed. "And I bet they'd do the same if you were falling in love with someone. But think about the mess that would make. A long, lingering kiss ending because shadows are tearing down the walls. Not really what you want."

"No," I agreed. "Is that why she doesn't want to see me?"

"Oh, she wants to," he said. "She's also scared. For the first few days, she kept leaking frost everywhere, and Torian was warming the walls and furniture to melt it away."

"Is she ok?" I asked, knowing it was a stupid, shallow question. I'd asked it a million times already, and it was always my default when someone wanted to talk about her, but I'd probably keep asking it until I got a yes.

Wilder tipped his head to the side. "Something happened during the Hunt's attack.

" He sighed. "And I cannot say what. I can say it changed things for her - and has nothing to do with you - but it pushed her training back to when she'd first arrived.

We're all trying to help her focus, rebuild her mental walls, and rebalance her power. "

"Wait, mental walls?" Because I'd read about those in a few fantasy books, but the fae had never used that term before.

"Her control," he clarified. "For us, magic is like water. You can direct it to obey your will. Now, if you use a piece of paper to turn a river, it's not going to do much good, right?"

"Right."

"But," he went on, "if you build a strong enough and tall enough wall, it would. If that wall has a gate on it, it will stop the flow. If you control the gate - or gates - then you have control. The water flows only where and when you want it."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"Well, she's up to cardboard," he told me. "That's much better than the air she started with, and stronger than the paper that came next."

"Oh." Not what I really wanted to hear. "So how long until she feels like she can be around me?"

"Could be a day," he said, "or a month. Kinda why I came. Look, you're feeling cut out, right?"

"A little," I admitted.

He flinched. "That's almost painful."

"Ok, a fucking lot," I corrected. "I feel like all of you get to hang out together, but because I'm just human, Jack and I are ignored. I know that's not how it works, but it's how it feels , and I hate it. So I keep trying to give myself pep talks and be patient, but I suck at it."

"And that is much more true," he agreed, offering one of those elegant smiles he did so well.

"Well, Torian tried to chase Keir off. He's now in his own room again, and it can't be easy.

I've been trying to spend time with him this morning, and Hawke's over there right now, but we thought maybe you should come too. "

"Over there?" To the boys' side?

"It's allowed," Wilder reminded me. "Well, until curfew."

"And you'd be ok with that?" I asked.

Wilder nodded. "Believe it or not, I miss having you around." He looked over. "You too, Jack."

"Jack!" he replied, bobbing his head in some weird bird way.

"So if you want to walk around with me," Wilder offered, " you can study, or watch a movie with us, or anything else. Maybe we can get lunch together?"

"Oh, is that like a date?" I teased.

This time, Wilder actually laughed. "Sure, but I'm going to be with my guy, and you can be with yours. Torian and Aspen can have a little time alone to talk it out."

"They need to talk to Liam," I grumbled. "He's a counselor, and here for a reason!"

"They are," he assured me. "Usually together. Sometimes apart, but Liam didn't give them any other option. Neither did Ms. Rhodes, not after Aspen missed class yesterday. She's now on a mandatory session every other week."

"Are you supposed to tell me that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "No one said I couldn't. I also think you need to know." Then he stood and offered me a hand. "Can I walk you home? To Keir's home, that is." One side of his mouth was lifted as he fought back a smile.

So I accepted it. "Yep. Are you gonna be cute with Hawke in front of me?"

"Probably. I mean, you're one of us, so it's not like I have anything to hide from you." He draped an arm over my shoulder and turned me for the door. "My boyfriend is simply trying not to cockblock me."

"Yeah, how does that work?" As we stepped into the hall, I lifted my arm just in time for Jack to land on it.

"Court!" Jack said.

But Wilder had stopped - yet his eyes weren't on the bird who followed me everywhere. They were on me. "Rain?"

"What?" I asked. "I knew he'd be coming. Jack goes everywhere with me. I mean, unless that's a problem?"

"No, but you feel him, don't you?"

"Huh?" I was lost.

"When Jack's about to land, you know it. Not like you hear him, or have the timing down, or anything like that. You just know, so you brace, or offer an arm, right?"

"Yeah?" Was it weird?

"That means you feel him," he explained. "The magic inside you recognizes him as a part of you. Rain, that's..."

"Bad?" I guessed.

"No, it's fucking amazing," he assured me. "It means you're doing much better than anyone could've guessed. Bonds like that take years to mature. "

"Jack-Rain," he grumbled from my shoulder. "Jack. Rain!"

"I was a little girl when I met him. Well, or so we think."

Jack just nodded, making a fuss of it.

"All you needed was magic," Wilder said. "Shit. No wonder you're so powerful." And he tugged me against his side again, but reached up to pet Jack's back as we walked. "Let me guess, you were about three when you first met him?"

"Yeah, about that? Why?"

He hummed in reply. "Oh, just a sneaking suspicion. Jack, you are definitely one very impressive crow."

"Jack," he agreed. "Court-Rain. Court-Jack."

"Sure, bud." But Wilder said it as if Jack's reply made as little sense to him as it did to me. "It's just nice to have you back, Rain. Or to be back, as the case may be."

"Or both," I decided. "Thanks, Wilder." And then I groaned. "Sorry."

"No, I'm getting used to it," he assured me. "For you, it isn't ignoring it. It's more like tackling the appreciation head on."

"Exactly."