Page 43

Chapter Thirty-Five

RAIN

H anging out with Keir, Hawke, and Wilder was nice.

Sadly, it also made me realize how much I'd been putting myself last. When my friends needed space, or time, or for me to accept their culture, I'd done it.

They were my friends, right? So, for the last who-knew-how-long, I'd done everything I could to be the kind of person they wanted around.

I had friends. I'd never had them before, so it wasn't like I was good at this shit. I definitely wanted to keep them, so I'd changed, I'd accepted, and I'd ignored anything that bothered me. Not as if it had been bad or anything, I just didn't want to be the annoying girl no one liked.

In truth, I was scared of losing them. The court was the court . Not individual people, but a whole. They made it pretty clear being friends with them was a group thing - or so I'd thought. I'd always assumed that if one of them didn't like me, the rest could cut me out, leaving me on my own again.

But seeing Hawke and Wilder go out of their way to make sure Keir knew he was still a part of the group?

Yeah, it helped. Hearing them complain about Torian being a dick?

It proved I wasn't the only one thinking it!

No, he wasn't evil. The guy was simply self-absorbed, entitled, and arrogant as fuck - which meant he ended up walking all over everyone else.

They just didn't complain about it. I hadn't either .

Yet now, he was walking all over Aspen. Because Torian was pissed at Keir, she was locked away with her brother.

On Sunday, I saw her for a split second.

She waved as she headed into Torian's room.

Yeah, I both loved and hated that. The smile on her face at the sight of me?

It made me think she still cared - that maybe she wasn't sick of me yet.

Seeing her cut off from her friends? Not so much.

She loved her brother. I got that. Hell, if I'd had a sibling, I'd probably be the same, and worse if we'd been separated as long as Aspen and Torian had been.

Yet having Hawke and Keir both flirting with me?

Seeing Wilder encouraging it, and making his smooth, elegant hints that he might agree with their compliments?

Something in my mind shifted. These guys were already friends, and being myself hadn't fucked it up at all.

Not my insecurities, my ignorance, or any of my other flaws - and I was sure I had a few million.

Yet I couldn't help but wonder if this was why Aspen had encouraged me to flirt and kiss Keir? Had she known this would happen? Did it mean her brother had a habit of isolating her? And the most important question of all: did I need to save her?

When the pair missed lunch on Monday, I was starting to think it might be the case. Naturally, I found a new plant in my room that evening. No Aspen, though. By Tuesday, I was beyond annoyed and getting pissed. The grumbling, snappish, and not caring who I offended type of pissed.

At lunch, I didn't refrain from calling Torian a dick.

Hawke tried to explain how there was more going on than I knew, but fuck that.

I knew Torian was his best friend, but what chain of events could make it ok for the asshole to not only chase Keir off, but also lock Aspen away?

And worse, they admitted it wasn't only because Aspen had been traumatized by the Hunt.

I wanted to tell her that if she cared about me so little, then I'd just date Keir - but that was stupid.

It wasn't really how I felt. It was merely my desire to lash out, which would fuck us up.

Yet for two weeks now, I'd been pushing this down, trying to talk myself out of it, and ignoring the twisting feeling in my stomach each time I came back to my room to find plants instead of my girlfriend!

But Keir was still there for me. Hell, in my detention class, he and Hawke were competing to help me the most. It was kinda cute, if I was honest. And yes, it made Aspen's absence hurt a bit less, because I felt like they were filling in the void she'd left with her absence.

Halfway across the grounds, on my way back to my dorm, I came to a decision.

I was going to give Torian a piece of my mind.

That boy didn't seem to give a shit about anyone else!

He expected everyone else to deal with his latest whim, and fuck checking in to see how we were doing.

But fuck that! Besides, what was the worst that could happen? I'd lose Aspen?

Well, it sure felt like I already had.

In class, she talked to me, but that seemed to be it.

There was always an excuse. Every single time, it came back to her brother!

He needed her, they assured me. She needed him.

The Hunt grabbing her had changed something, I was told.

Well, yeah, it sure as shit had! It had changed things for me too, but Torian didn't seem to care about that!

The guy was a selfish and self-absorbed asshole!

He'd proven it over and over. Like the one time he'd helped me study for our end of semester exams?

He'd come to the study hall on my side of the dorms and tried to chase off a girl studying there.

He didn't care where she would go. His only concern had been that she didn't inconvenience him. But if he thought I'd quietly go away?

Oh, he was about to see what happened when a girl had a backbone.

I just had to make sure mine was still in one piece.

The ride up the elevator felt slower than normal, but it was probably because I was trying to convince myself to do this.

All I had to do was bang on his door, demand to know if Aspen was ok, and then storm in to tell her I missed her.

If he said no, I'd rip that prick a new asshole!

After all, it wasn't like he could hurt me with his magic!

I was thinking up what I'd say as I entered my room. Rummaging for a set of clothes, I debated having a shower before going over there, but I was just delaying the inevitable. I shouldn't be trying to impress anyone. No, this was me, and they could -

The sound of something made me pause.

"Rain?" Jack asked.

"Did you hear that?"

He nodded. "Jack-Rain."

"I know," I assured him, because that was one of his favorite phrases.

But the sound didn't come again, so I went back to looking for a clean bra. Mine was sweaty, and I sure as shit wasn't going to wear my gym uniform across the entire campus any longer than I had to.

"Rain..." Jack said.

"I'm going to get Aspen back," I explained.

"Rain, Rain, Rain! "

I pushed out a sigh, then pulled on a clean bra and shirt. "Yes, I'm grumpy. I know, but let me have it, ok?"

He shook his head. "Rain!" Then the bird flew down to my bed and hopped. "Rain-Court!"

"That's what I'm going to do, Jack. No one else seems willing to tell Torian - "

The clunking sound came again.

"Court!" Jack insisted, but this time he flew - straight into the bathroom.

Fuck, was one of Aspen's plants causing a mess? Shifting my shirt into place, I followed, but Jack wasn't aiming for the bathtub or the shower. Instead, he'd landed on the ground and was hopping towards the door to Aspen's room, staring at it intently.

"Jack, is the gate open?" I asked, because it was in the same doorframe as Aspen's door. Supposedly, that meant she could close her door and prevent them from crossing into her room.

When I reached him, I heard something else. It wasn't quite a thump or clunk. This was more like scraping and clattering, and soft enough I wouldn't have heard it in my room. For a moment, I paused, trying to figure out what was going on, and then I heard it.

"Need another. One more. One more should do it, or one after that. I just need another." The voice was Aspen's.

"Asp?" I asked, rapping on the door.

"Need another," she continued to mumble, but there'd been a pause.

Clearly, she'd heard me. She must've! Deciding I didn't care, and with my drive to chew Torian's ass still brimming in the back of my mind, I opened the door a little and tried to call through the gap.

"Aspen?"

"I'm making plants!" she replied. "I gotta do another. Just one more. This one will do it. I'm sure of it. Just one more!"

That did not sound sane at all . Below me, Jack was leaning into the opening, peering into Aspen's room. And while I couldn't see her, Aspen's muttering continued on without pause. It took me two whole seconds before I yanked the door open fully and rounded the corner.

She was sitting in the open area of her floor, surrounded by buckets of dirt and boxes of seeds. At least twenty small pots had been set aside, and most of them had a small piece of color - a plant - sprouting in them.

I saw green, blue, magenta, and a purple thing.

Ok, so those were fae plants, right? Had to be, so why was she frantically planting them?

Had something happened? Was this to prepare for an upcoming problem?

A million thoughts spun through my mind in milliseconds, yet none of them made it to my mouth.

"Aspen?" I asked as I stepped around the mess on the ground. "Hey, beautiful. Are you ok?"

She looked up, those amazing eyes of hers piercing right through me. "No. I can't hold it, Rain. I need another plant."

"Can't hold what?" I begged.

"Jack!"

I flapped a hand his way to silence him. "Hey, hey, hey. Aspen, I'm here to help. Any time you need it, I will always help, ok?"

"Morrigan!" Jack insisted. "Rain-Morrigan. Rain. Rain. Rain! Rain-Morrigan!" He was screaming that right at Aspen.

It was enough to make her hands pause when she looked at him. "Shit. She is!" Her attention snapped back to me. "Help me?"

"Anything!" I swore, still unsure what was even happening, but one part I was sure of. I would always help her.

So she grabbed my hand, pushed aside the plant she was working on, and then leaned in. Her free hand landed in a pile of dirt on the floor. At the same time, Jack flew up to land on her shoulder, pushing in against her neck.

"Court..." he said soothingly.

"I need to give you magic," Aspen explained. "Rain, it's a lot, and there aren't enough plants to hold it. I don't..." Her eyes sparkled with growing dampness. "What if it's too much?"

"Morrigan!" Jack insisted.

"That," I told her. "Ms. Rhodes said it makes me stronger, so go for it. I mean, if it's too much, what's the worst that could happen?"

Her brow furrowed at the question - only to jump back up when my own fucking shadow reached up to clasp the hand on the floor.

"Shit, I feel it!" she breathed.

"Morrigan!" Jack demanded.

And Aspen relaxed. The wave of her magic slammed into me like a damned freight train.

This wasn't a little trickle like she'd given me at lunch.

Instead, it made me think about the river analogy Wilder had used.

The entire Mississippi River of magic had just been unleashed, and I was the one who had to suck it all up.

So I pulled. Instead of merely waiting for it to happen, I did everything I could to bring it all into me. I'd been working on controlling the flow with the stone Ms. Rhodes had given me, and this was basically the same thing. Well, if comparing a leaky faucet to the Pacific Ocean was the same.

A chill raced over my skin. Warmth grew in my chest. On Aspen's shoulder, Jack pushed closer, and I swore his feathers were even more iridescent black than normal.

I wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the power flow until my shadow lifted its right hand off the floor to clasp Aspen's bicep - still holding her other hand with what should've been the shadow of my left.

The thing was growing darker, deeper, and more intense. The pressure inside me was pushing hard on my insides. A low hum was ringing in my ears, and the scent of spring was filling the room. Flowers. With Aspen, it was always flowers, and I was starting to realize this scent was part of her magic.

"I got you," I breathed, ignoring the over-full feeling inside me. "Aspen, you're going to be ok. This is what I'm good at, right? And I'm never going to let you suffer alone."

"Just a little more?" she begged.

"Give me as much as you need," I swore. "I'm the Morrigan, baby. I'm going to protect you any way you need, and this is an easy one."

"Oh, Rain!" she breathed, surging in to wrap her arm around my neck and press her mouth to mine.

I felt Jack's feathers against my cheek, but didn't care.

I kissed her so hard. My girlfriend was back.

Maybe it was for a minute, an hour, or hopefully a whole day.

I didn't know, but if I could help her with this, then maybe it would be enough to convince her I wasn't useless. She didn't need to hide from me.

I could save her.

Yet when I reached around her back to pull her closer, I bumped into something warm, dry, but not at all solid.

It was attached to her arm, and belatedly, I realized it had to be my own shadow.

The thing had been holding her there, and clearly lifting her hand off the floor hadn't broken the contact. I also didn't care at all.

My tongue swept through her mouth. Her fingers tangled in my hair.

We kissed like it might be the last time we had the chance, all while her power poured into me.

I needed to touch her a little more, to hold her a bit closer, and to make sure I could contain this.

Simultaneously hot and cold, the rush of magic was like some kind of high I'd never experienced before, and not the good kind.

This was the sort that made my heart race, my skin was too tight, and my mind was buzzing with a sound that reminded me of an electrical current.

No, one more plant couldn’t have been enough.

If she was trying to use them to release this?

I suddenly understood why there was a jungle growing in our suite, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered but the way her sweet, soft lips slid across mine as if she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her.

And somewhere in the frenzy, I forgot all about telling her brother off.