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Chapter Forty

RAIN

M s. Rhodes spent the rest of the week testing my shadow to see what it could do.

Most days, it came out to cooperate. Today, it didn't. Instead, Ms. Rhodes asked about my stone.

When I showed it to her, she said it was coming along nicely - then made me prove I could both give magic to it and take from it.

Ok, the taking part sucked. Even worse, Jack kept shaking his head no. Ms. Rhodes ignored him, though, reassuring me I could do it. And I did! Ok, so it wasn't some impressive pull or anything, but I got some Wild magic out of it. The second time was even better.

Bit-by-bit, I was learning how to control these shadows of mine. Most of my Shadow Magic class was filled with dark shapes running along the walls. Occasionally, I messed up and they burst into the room. The hard part was not laughing when Ms. Rhodes tensed up.

Yeah, it shouldn't have been funny, but it still kinda was. Here was this five-hundred-year-old fae woman, and I could make her flinch? Talk about crazy! And yet, it made me understand Aspen a little better. Knowing my magic could hurt someone? That sorta changed things, and not in a good way.

So when Ms. Rhodes let me out on Friday, I hurried to Math, trying to think of something sweet to tell Aspen, and hopefully it would make her forget about her magical issues.

Naturally, my girlfriend had her own plans.

I'd barely sat down when an orange Pixy Styx appeared in front of me.

The sparkly green nails on the hand holding it were a new shade.

"You did your nails?" I asked as I accepted the sugar.

"Last night," she admitted, showing them to me. "Well, Hawke did. He's good at it."

"Hawke?" I gaped at her. "He paints nails?"

"Yeah?" She gave me a confused look.

"Just does not seem like something he'd do," I admitted.

"So you should ask him to do yours." She grinned and leaned back. "Or Keir. Or someone , Rain. Just because I go see my brother doesn't mean you need to wai - " She stopped hard when the teacher walked into the room.

After a glance our way, the teacher immediately looked at another group talking. That was all the warning we had before an upcoming test was announced. Thankfully, I was doing decently in here. Not good, and my dads wanted my grades up, but still, I wasn't completely lost.

The class dragged on, though. I was frantically trying to copy notes off the board, but I always felt like I was swapping something somewhere. When our teacher explained it, this sounded so easy, and yet my application of the concept never - ever - worked. Fuck, I hated math.

So when the class finally let out, I gathered my things quickly. I was shoving my pen into the front of my bag when a guy paused in front of our row.

"Fucking half-breed," he all but spit at Aspen.

"What?" she growled, her attention snapping to him so fast it felt like a whip.

"You heard me," he taunted.

"Court!" Jack told him. "Court, court, court!"

I just stood. "Shut it. You're the half-breed." Then I took a step closer. "Or did you forget you're half human, hm?" A tendril of darkness was starting to swirl around my fingers. "Wanna see how that fae half likes me ?"

"What?" he asked, backing up quickly. "But she's part jevadu!"

I scoffed. "And? Still fae."

The guy's mouth flapped for a few seconds as he tried to think of something to say. His eyes bounced between me and Aspen. I got the impression he hadn't expected either of us to push back, but why would we just sit here and take it?

So I lifted my hand, aware shadows were wafting off it. "Run along, little boy." And I smiled the way Torian so often did: cruelly. "Run fast . "

When the asshole bolted from the room, Aspen actually giggled. "That worked?"

I snatched the escaped shadows from the air, dispelling them. "Everyone's scared of my magic. I just figured..."

She hurried around her desk, then grabbed my hand. Yes, the same hand that had just had shadows on it.

"I'm not."

I gave her a sideways look. "Really?" Because fae couldn't lie, but I'd seen her watch them warily.

"I'm not scared of your shadows," she assured me. "I'm intimidated by Wild magic, but not all of it. Just the stuff that would be used against me."

The words all came out easily. She couldn't lie. That left one more question. "When did you change your mind?"

She towed me through the door and into the hall. There, she shifted her hand so we could loop arms. That was a lot less like holding hands, so no one could complain about it.

"New Year's Eve," she explained. "The entire atrium went dark, and I was smothered in so much Wild magic, I couldn't even imagine it, but it didn't really touch me.

And yeah, I kinda had to think about it a bit, but I stopped being scared that night.

Then I realized you hadn't even hurt Harper with it, and if there's anyone who should be hurt, it's her. "

"I don't really know how to hurt people with my magic," I admitted.

"Shadows!" Jack said.

"That," Aspen agreed. "It's the nature of your magic, Rain. It's anti-sidhe."

Which made me giggle, because it sounded all wrong like that. "Would a jevadu be hurt by Wild magic?" I asked just a little too casually.

"No," she groaned, acting like that was silly. "They use both kinds, feeding on seasonal so they can make - "

Her eyes went wide. Her feet stopped. Aspen gasped as her head snapped around to face me.

"What?" I asked.

"Um..." She grimaced. "Well, that's what I've been told." But those words didn't come out easily.

"Aspen, you don't have to twist that," I hurried to say. "You can just tell me to forget it, but I kinda want to know. I mean, everyone's talking about them."

"I can't talk about it," she whimpered.

So I turned, stepping closer. "I know. It's ok. You made that promise before you ever met me. I just think that if one of my friends was a jevadu, or knew a jevadu, or may have seen one once, then it's kinda interesting to hear how those wildlings work as compared to Jack."

"Jack!" he agreed, right on cue.

"Oh." Her entire body relaxed. "Yeah, um, I kinda like what you said in there. You know, about jevadu being all fae. Because, they are! Jack's fae. Jevadu are more like you, though. They kinda work as a magic converter."

"Yeah?" My excitement slipped into my tone. "So there's something else out there like me?"

"A lot of things," she assured me. "I mean, Jack's like you."

"Rain." The bird shook his head.

"You use Wild magic," she countered.

He shook his head again. "Rain!"

"Ok, well, you used to!"

This time, Jack nodded. "Morrigan!"

"But they're coming at you because of Torian," I told her. "They all know what he is, so why is it still a secret?"

"Rain, they don't."

That made me pause. "Huh?"

Aspen groaned. "Fuck. I can't tell you."

"But either he is, or he is not a jevadu, and one of those answers has to be true," I pointed out.

Aspen sighed. "It's complicated, Rain."

"How so?"

She pressed her lips together, thinking for a little too long. "Fae cannot lie. That means we cannot break an agreement, because it would make our words false. It doesn't matter what you call it: promise, deal, arrangement, or agreement. They're all the same thing."

"Yeah…" I was so confused. "But Keir told me there were repercussions to breaking a promise."

" We can't break them," she said again. "Humans can. Some faelings can. If they can lie, they can break a deal, and our people find that to be a true crime. If we cannot trust your words, then the penalties should be severe."

"But I'm human," I said again. "I don't understand what that has to do with the culture on Faerie."

She giggled. "We had humans there too, Rain! I mean, they were rare and usually a big deal. Most were stories from history, but we know they exist. It's kinda why we came here all the time. Our magic allowed us to cross from Faerie to Earth. Humans needed help to get back. "

"Oh." Ok, that was a detail no one had told me before.

"Yeah, we learned about it in History last year.

" She waved that off. "But the piece you're missing is that this is a school for the sidhe.

Not for all fae, but only the sidhe. That's why you don't see trolls or sirens in your classes.

The sidhe wanted safety, and we found it.

For many, it's shelter from not only the Mad Queen, but also the wildlings, because both of them can hurt us. "

"So I shouldn't be here?" I asked.

She shrugged. "You're not either one. You're human, and the rules allow human relatives of fae." Then a little smile appeared. "Rain, it's a loophole, and Ms. Rhodes is using it. Since the Morrigan is always a benefit to the sidhe, I don't think anyone's going to complain."

"But they would if a jevadu wandered into a classroom," I realized, reading between the lines. "That's fucking stupid. I mean, everyone's fine with Jack!"

"Jack!" he agreed.

She gave me a weak smile. "Yeah, but Jack can't pretend to be one of us. He is clearly a crow."

"And that makes a difference?" I scoffed. "He's still a wildling. Are jevadu really that different?"

"They feed on sidhe, draining them of magic." She grimaced. "So, yeah. I mean, they shouldn't be, but I can see where someone might be scared of one. For most of us, they're the monster in our bedtime stories. You know, the ones used to make sure we behave."

"Are they?" I asked. "I mean, would a real jevadu be something I should be scared of?"

"No more than any other fae," she assured me. "Which is why we all liked what you said about jevadu at lunch that day. Regardless of them being wildlings, they're still fae. Fae are people, just like Jack."

"Jack," he agreed.

"And people have feelings," I said. "It doesn't matter what they look like, calling them names would make anyone get defensive. I mean, if people said shit about Jack, he'd probably do the same."

My crow rattled, sounding almost like his version of grumbling under his breath.

"Yeah…" Aspen murmured. "But people are mean, Rain. Look at what they said about you for simply being human. It's the same thing. Plus, this isn't the first time they've done this."

"The bullying?" I huffed. "That does not make it ok!"

"Kinda does," she admitted. "I mean, physical wounds are easier to heal and all, but the mental ones?

Sometimes they teach us a lesson." She changed her voice, sounding like she was quoting someone.

"People always talk. That is the nature of being a person.

Communication is rarely kind to all sides.

This is something you must learn to accept, because it is impossible to make everyone like you.

When you're different, it's even harder. "

"That sounds like Ms. Rhodes," I admitted. "I also don't agree at all! She should be stopping this, not telling the victims to get used to it!"

"No!" Aspen hurried to say. "That's not what she meant. Ms. Rhodes was trying to make us aware people will talk, but it doesn't make them right. It also means they have feelings too, and - "

"Torian," I grumbled. "Somehow he's always in the middle, huh?"

"Kinda," she admitted. "But it's just because he has so much power, and usually rather impressive control.

He uses magic more like an adult fae, you know?

And Ms. Rhodes didn't want him to dumb that down because someone else might be jealous.

She was encouraging both of us to work to our full potential - whatever that might be.

And he wants to learn everything she'll teach him. So this? It's what we're used to."

Yeah, there was so much hanging out there, so I decided to just ask, "Is he a jevadu?"

She dropped her head and smiled at the floor. "Rain, I can't answer that. I am not allowed to talk around, insinuate, deny all other options, or in any way discuss or rule out our pasts on Faerie."

"That sounds like an impressive promise you made," I told her.

"Kinda was," she agreed, "but for a very good reason."

I nodded, accepting that, but if she was talking about this, I wasn't going to ignore it. "Aspen, will it make problems if I push at this?" I asked. "Like, if I ask Bracken, Liam, or Ms. Rhodes about it, to see if they'll tell me?"

Aspen wrinkled up her nose. "It would get you sworn to a promise, Rain. The same one we had to agree to, and then you'd be just as stuck as we are. Or worse, because if you broke it - even by accident - you'd have to pay the price. For us? The promise is a limit, not a threat. We can't break it."

"So not worth it," I decided. "But you know what? Just so it's out there, I don't care if you're half jevadu, Torian is all jevadu, or anything else."

"Don't be so sure about that," she countered.

"Rain, it's easy to not care when you don't understand the problem.

There's a reason things are secret. They have to be, and believe it or not, I agree with it.

Our teachers are doing their best to help us.

It's just hard not to be able to tell you everything. "

"I don't need to know everything," I assured her. "I only need to know enough to help."

"You help," she said softly. "That's the thing; you always help. Tor and I were talking about it, and we think Jack picked you for a reason."

"Jack!" he agreed.

"But what reason?" I asked.

The bird on my shoulder huffed and rustled his feathers. "Rain!"

Aspen grinned, pausing at the door to the stairs. "I think he's trying to say he picked you because you're amazing, hun."

"Rain!" Jack said again, nodding this time.

"And I'm going to take that as my ego boost of the day." I shifted closer. "But if you need me, text, ok? Zez will let me out of my gym classes."

"I'm in the Never after lunch," she said. "I'm safe there. You go worry about your big, rock-like male friends."

"That's not how that term works," I laughed.

She shrugged, but a sweet smile had claimed her lips. "You deal with the solid and flat ones. I'll stick to the soft and curvy."

"Nope," I said. "I'm splitting my time evenly between both, because I like soft and sweet just as much as hard and tough."

"Go!" she groaned, nudging me back. "You're going to make me blush."

"Going!" I said, lifting both hands in surrender. "And don't let them give you shit for being a pureblood, Aspen."

"Never," she said, stepping back. "And I think that's exactly what I needed to hear."