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Chapter Twenty-Five

RAIN

O k, using a gate was weird. I'd been braced for an experience like in my books. Maybe my stomach would flip, or I'd be stuck in cold darkness for a few seconds, or even my cells being rearranged and then put back together.

None of that happened.

Nope, I walked out of the bathroom like I was headed back into Aspen's room, and stepped into Torian's.

Jack followed, flying into the room right between mine and Aspen's heads.

Immediately, the four guys turned, and my eyes jumped across all of them, stopping when I hit Hawke - who was standing there with his arms in his sleeves but the shirt still in front of him like he was about to put it on.

"Uh, sorry," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heating up.

Because wow . Hawke was built! The guy had abs rippling down his stomach, ripcords of muscles on his shoulders, and yeah, I'd seen his biceps bulging too. And the more I thought about it, the hotter my face became.

"Told you they were coming," Wilder said just a little too casually.

"Yep," Hawke said before pulling the shirt over his head, hiding his rather impressive chest. "And I said I didn't want to stink when they got here. Hi, girls."

"Fuck off," Aspen grumbled, heading over to her brother's bed and dropping down onto it as if the short walk had worn her out. "Nectar? "

"The mug's full of it," Torian assured her, slowly turning so he could see me. "You good, Rain?"

"Yeah," I said.

All four of the guys flinched. "Not even close," Keir told me. "That was one hell of a lie."

"She's going to go talk to her dads," Aspen explained. "I think she'll worry less about saying the wrong thing with them."

"Makes sense," Keir agreed. "But what about her coming out of Torian's room?"

Torian laughed once. "Bracken knows. Oh, and he's Aspen's uncle."

Keir's entire body rocked as if those words had pushed him off balance. "I'm sorry, what?"

Torian merely shrugged. "It's why Bracken's hair is such a cold shade. His mother was a minor Winter noblewoman."

"Yeah," Keir said, turning to me. "You know where you're going?" And he gave me a look that begged me to say no.

"I haven't been in here before," I told him - which was true. The last time, we'd been in Hawke and Wilder's suite, evidently. "Wanna show me?"

"C'mon, Jack," Keir said, leading me to the door and following me into the hall. "Liam and Bracken's apartment is down there." He pointed towards the elevators.

"Got it," I said just as Jack landed on my shoulder. "I kinda did know the way, but you looked like you wanted an excuse."

"I did," he admitted. "Um, before you go, answer me one thing?"

"Ok?"

"Are you ok?" he asked. "I know today was a lot, and you just proved you aren't good, so are you at least ok?"

I huffed. "Keir! I'm fine. Aspen's fine. But you?"

He lifted a hand, holding me off. "I'm fine, Rain. Not good, not bad. In truth, I'm not sure how I feel, but I know I really don't want to go to my room, so Wilder said I could hang."

"And later?" I asked.

"I'll worry about that later," he admitted. "Mostly because I do not want to think about it right now."

"Ok," I said gently, "but if you need me..."

He smiled. "Text?"

"Or call. Or come over. You know, the usual."

"Yeah," he agreed, reaching up to push a strand of hair away from my face. "I'm glad you tried, Rain. For Fin, I mean. He was a dick who intended to fuck with your head, but you still tried. The way I see it, that says more about you than him."

I shifted closer. "Make sure Aspen's ok for me?"

"Yeah, and Torian," he agreed. "I got this. You make sure both of your fathers see you're in one piece. Liam's probably worried sick. Oh, and give Jack some nectar."

"Jack," my crow agreed.

"Ok," I said, but I reached up to cup the side of Keir's cheek. "You know how you helped me put on the armor even when I was freaking out?"

He pressed his cheek against my palm. "I do."

"Thank you," I whispered, sliding my thumb along his cheekbone. "I needed help, and you didn't even make me ask."

His eyes slipped closed, and without moving away from my touch, he nodded. "Take the potion tonight, ok?"

"I will," I agreed, finally dropping my hand and taking a step back. "And I still have my phone."

"Goodnight, Rain."

"Night, Keir."

Before I found another reason to stay, to check on my friends, or anything else, I turned and headed for my dads' apartment. Jack swayed on my shoulder, proving he was as exhausted as me. Thankfully, it wasn't far, just through the double doors and across a small open space. There, I knocked.

Feet scrambled loudly on the other side. Mere seconds later, the heavy door was wrenched open and Liam was in front of me with a panicked look on his face. When he saw me, the heaviest sigh fell out, and he wrapped me up in his arms, not even caring about the large bird riding on my shoulder.

"Oh, Rain!" he breathed, hugging me too hard. To keep from getting crushed, Jack took off, flying into the apartment. "I was so scared, and then Bracken said you'd gone to take care of Aspen, but I hadn't seen you, and I knew you were outside - "

"Let her breathe, babe," Bracken said gently as he tugged Liam - and thus me - inside and closed the door. "She's shaken, but she's in one piece."

Liam reached out and pulled Bracken into his embrace, squishing all three of us together. "I just..." And he hugged hard again.

But it helped. Something inside me cracked a bit, releasing all the pressure, and tension, and maybe even pain I was holding on to.

Without thinking, I leaned in, shifting so I could get an arm around Bracken too, and the three of us simply huddled together there in the foyer.

My eyes closed, and for the first time, I could actually let it all go, knowing I was truly home.

"I'm ok, Dad," I said, unable to get enough of the way Liam always smiled when I called him that. "Like Keir said, not good or bad, but ok."

Which made him finally let go and lean back, only to cup both sides of my face and look me over completely. "No injuries? Magical burns? Cuts? Heart attacks?"

A little laugh slipped out when the last one made it into my head. "No, I'm all in one piece - but kinda freaking out."

And my phone suddenly went off. Across the room, two more ringtones sounded, making me think both Bracken and Liam's had as well.

"Dad!" Jack demanded. "Dad-Dad!"

"Shit," Bracken grumbled, peeling away to grab one of those. "Liam, it's the decision. Classes will be held tomorrow with attendance by choice."

"You going to be ok to teach?" Liam asked.

Bracken let out a heavy sigh, which made Liam drag me into the main room of their apartment.

Jack had claimed his usual spot on the back of the couch.

Standing in the middle of the living room, Bracken's eyes were on his phone, his fingers moving, but his entire body looked wrong.

It was as if the pride had been drained from him.

Which was when I remembered Fin had been one of his sentinels.

Not someone I really spent any time with in class, but he'd been there.

Usually in one of the private rooms for more advanced students.

Once or twice, I'd heard him call out some taunt to Keir about having to train the newbie, or being good for nothing else.

And now he was gone.

I dropped onto the closest seat, which was the corner in front of Jack. Bracken glanced up, then claimed the other side of the couch, still typing out his message. Liam took the chair, leaning to grab his own phone, which meant it was ok if I checked mine.

Administration:

Due to the recent emergency, classes are canceled for the remainder of the day, but will resume tomorrow. Those who are unable to attend will be given excused absences. Administrative staff will be making their way to the dorms for health checks and to arrange necessary support.

"What does that even mean?" I asked .

"I'm marking you and the court as counted," Bracken explained. "All of the non-emergency staff will begin making the rounds and putting in orders for anxiety, depression, or trauma medication. It's how we count heads and treat the damage, Rain."

"And they will personally notify everyone in each room of Fin's death," Liam said, reaching over to clasp my shoulder. "Did you know him?"

I could only shrug. "Keir introduced me once, but he was a jerk."

"She wasn't even in the same section as him," Bracken added. "I tried to keep him as far from her as possible."

"Because he was a dick?" I asked. "Keir said you asked him to keep an eye on the guy."

Bracken tapped his screen, then set his phone down. "I did, and in a minute, I'm going to go check on him."

"He's in Torian's room," I said. That made both of my dads look at me strangely. "What? Aspen, Wilder, and Hawke are all there. I kinda got to walk through the bathroom."

"They gated?" Liam asked.

I nodded. "Torian said Bracken knows about it, and I figured that meant you did too."

"I know he had one in the closet at my brother's house. He would use it to check on Hawke when they weren't allowed out of their rooms."

"He's got one to Aspen's room as well," Bracken said.

"Wilder opened this one," I said. "Or am I not supposed to mention that? Can you forget I said that?"

"You're fine," Bracken assured me, "but I didn't know Wilder could do that. Are you sure it wasn't Torian? Aspen, maybe?"

"Definitely Wilder," I said. "Torian and Aspen were dragging, so Hawke got nectar for them, and Wilder made the walk shorter."

"So he's getting stronger," Liam told Bracken, sounding happy about it.

"And those four are hiding it," Bracken countered.

"Not from you," I pointed out. "I think they're hiding it from everyone else, but today, Torian decided to trust Keir."

"He fought for Aspen," Bracken explained, "and to Torian, that means a lot."

"He also mentioned you two are related. You and Aspen, I mean."

Bracken waved that off. "Keir knows I'm a baron. Well, likely, if my father isn't alive, and I doubt it."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled .

He offered me a gentle smile. "It's ok, Rain. It's been a long time. I'm more worried about how you're doing."

"She's pushing it away," Liam said. "If she focuses on the present, the traumatic crap she saw stays distant."

"Stop analyzing her in front of her," Bracken chided.

But there was something nice about this.

All of it. The way Liam was putting my own feelings into words and explaining why I didn't want to think about it.

Bracken acting like a good partner and proving their relationship was very comfortable.

Even just sitting on their couch and not worrying about being in trouble was nice.

Safe. That was the word I was looking for.

This was what home was supposed to feel like, and it didn't matter that this wasn't really their place.

It had nothing to do with the rooms or the things in them.

The security here came from these two men.

The ones who had claimed the position of my dads, and were making it so easy to get used to all of this.

"I stabbed a guy," I said softly, dropping my eyes down to the rug under the coffee table.

It had a pattern on it. Swirls of some kind, but not like paisleys or anything I was used to seeing. The main color was tan, and the swirls were dark brown, but it looked soft. Clean, too. The sort of rug that would be in a nice house.

"How do you feel about that?" Liam finally asked.

I just heaved my shoulders in something that was meant to stand in for both an answer and a shrug.

"Can you try that in words?" he pressed.

"It popped," I said. "I could feel it all the way up my arm, and I jerked the sword out." I looked up quickly, turning to Bracken. "Did I mess up?"

"No, Rain. You're supposed to pull the blade out. The damage is done, but hunters don't stay hurt for long. They heal. Iron is the only thing we've found to damage them at all, and Tag isn't enough to push them all back."

"Tag was fighting?"

He nodded. "She was, but at the Forge. She holds the door so her students won't be taken, and she is fierce. Sloppy, but fierce."

"I was sloppy."

"It was your first time," he countered. "Being sloppy is a lot better than being dead."

Liam winced. "Brack!"

"She saw Fin, babe. Ran all the way to the gate to try to help him and got there first. Her shadows forced the Hunt to ride off, and Jack was bringing a murder to chase after them."

"Morrigan," Jack said softly.

"And I think he's tired too," I told my dads.

"When they make it to this floor, we'll get something for him," Liam promised.

"And Ivy suggested wiping her dreams."

Liam just looked at me. "Are you ok with that?"

Once again, I shrugged. "I kinda came over here because I was hoping you both could help me figure it all out."

Which made Bracken push to his feet. "I'm going to get nectar for all of us. Talk to her, babe."

Liam turned in his chair. "I have boxes and boxes of tissues. I have food for comfort eating, Bracken's getting nectar, and we even have some wine in there that you aren't supposed to have. How about we find you a coping mechanism while you tell me all the things you don't have words for, ok?"

"And get drunk?" I asked.

"And learn how not to," he corrected. "Relaxing is good. Escaping isn't. And you know what? Crying does not make any of us weak."