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Chapter Sixty-Four

RAIN

B y the end of the week, I was ready to get back to class. Sure, days off were fun and all, but five in a row? With all my friends stuck in school without me? That made it a lot less exciting. My books helped, but Keir had been spending his evenings with me while Aspen vanished to give us privacy.

And that sucked. I liked the three of us together, but I understood.

Aspen wasn't exactly into guys. She also said she had to practice control with Torian.

He'd flubbed a spell - er, conjuration - when the Huntsman had been coming at us.

They both wanted to make sure it never happened again, and with their days as full as mine usually were?

After class was their only time free for it.

Jack was getting used to other people taking him down to the atrium for a flight. Once, Keir even took him outside to check on the crows out there. Jack came back chattering about it, and while his tone sounded happy, I got exactly nothing from his caws and rattles.

In other words, I was going crazy being on "sick leave.

" So when Hawke showed up with my lunch on Friday, I was ready to beg him to take me to the gym.

Instead, he pulled out a little bag and set it on my desk beside my meal.

The cardboard container smelled good. It also smelled suspiciously like chicken. A smaller one was beside it.

"What did you bring?" I asked .

"Well, the lunch ladies were worried about you two, so I have an entire selection of human foods, the little one is for Jack, and the bag is a game."

"What?" I was with him right up until that last part.

"I showed Bracken I had a cough, and asked if I could be excused.

" He pushed one out to demonstrate, and yeah, it sounded very fake, but it was definitely a cough.

"He agreed it wasn't good and said I should probably take the afternoon off.

" Hawke grinned. "So I thought I could teach you a fae version of a board game. Well, more like checkers, really."

"Really?" I asked.

"On one condition," he said. "The thing with Keir..."

"Is real?" I guessed, not sure if that was what he was asking about.

"And you're good with it?"

I nodded.

"Ah." He turned, pulling out my chair. "Cool. You two are cute." But his eyes avoided me completely.

Yeah, it took me all of two point five seconds to figure out the issue.

"It's also not just Keir," I said. "I mean, I may have made sure he'd be ok with me flirting with this other guy.

He said being his girlfriend had nothing to do with being anyone else's at the same time. You know, like Aspen. Or this guy."

"Torian?" he guessed.

I scoffed. "Torian's a fucking prick half the time."

"He's also one of the most beautiful fae men I've ever seen," Hawke countered. "Granted, Keir's a close second, so I just thought..."

"That I like people for their personality?" I offered. "I mean, you know that's the difference between bisexual and pansexual, right? Bisexuals like all genders. Pansexuals like people regardless of their gender." I moved to the chair. "I kinda looked when Wilder brought it up."

"Thought you said you were bi, though," Hawke said as he claimed the chair next to Jack.

"Rain!" Jack said. "Rain-Jack."

"Not helping," Hawke told him. "I mean, is she bi?"

Jack twisted his head.

"Pan?" Hawke tried next.

Jack's head turned the other way.

I just thrust a hand out at him. "See! He knows shit!

" I gave Hawke a grin to show I was mostly joking.

"But no, seriously, I don't know. I know I like Aspen and she's a girl.

I know I like guys. I know liking guys is easier because the 'how-to' part is all over.

Every movie and book has it. But the rest?

" I made a production of shrugging with my hands palm up.

"Nah, guys are just easier," he said. "At least they are for me. Guys don't need grand gestures and shit - and I suck at those."

"They make me get self-conscious," I admitted.

"I know, right?" Hawke asked. "And is the meal ok? I can get something else if you don't like it."

"It's meat!" I huffed. "I know you think that's gross."

He waved that off. "Rain, I don't care." He flicked up his brows. "Did you hear it? Hm? Hmm? I spoke the truth ."

"Ok!" I groaned, opening the box to find a pretty impressive selection of the amazing food our cafeteria offered. "So, how's the school doing after the attack? I know the last time the Hunt came when we were all outside, it was weird for a bit."

"Because Fin died," Hawke said. "The only people out there this time were us and the courtiers."

"That actually stuck?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I like it. The court and the courtiers? It's perfect to piss off the jesters, right? So yes, Poppy and Nevaeh have completely embraced it."

"Figured Torian would get pissy about people sucking up to him."

Hawke grunted at that. "He's been too busy in the Never. Ever since Keir told us you and he are a thing now? Yeah, Tor's been obsessed with his control."

That wasn't quite the story I'd heard, so I said, "Aspen's been hanging out with him in the evenings."

"Right." Hawke turned so he was sideways in the chair and draped a leg over the arm, facing me. "When you passed out, Tor kinda yelled at her. He said she's making it hard for him to focus, so they're working on that."

"He blamed her?" I asked.

"He's also not wrong," Hawke pointed out. "Rain, the guy's used to complete silence and no distractions. That was how he was taught - in isolation."

"Fucking Queen," I grumbled.

With perfect timing, Jack added, "Bitch!"

"Exactly!" Hawke told him. "You know how he was trained, right?"

"By the Mad Queen herself," I said, proving I'd been told that much. "Sounds like she kept him as a little trophy to show off or something." I grumbled to show what I thought of that: pure disgust.

Hawke laughed once. "Yeah, well, that's the Mad Queen for ya. Trust me, it only gets worse when you know the details."

"And you can't talk about them," I teased.

He canted his head a bit and shrugged. "I'm trying to talk around it as much as I can. But yeah. Tor's hurt that the girl got the girl, and the girl got the guy, and the guy got the girl, and he's getting a whole lot of nothing but magical issues."

"Fuck, that means he's pissy again, huh?"

"So fucking pissy," Hawke agreed. "I told Keir to kiss the shit out of him but - " Hawke stopped hard. "Shit. Did I just overstep?"

"You're fine!" I promised. "Geez, I know about the kiss, and you even said Torian's hot. I mean, hello, obvious, right? Wait, are you into Keir too?"

"Wilder," he replied. "Uh, I'm into Wilder. Wilder's into Keir pretty bad, though. That Keir makes him get all shy and shit?"

"A shy duke?" I asked.

"I know!" Hawke said, leaving his chair to come closer. "And it's hard to tell when he blushes because of his skin tone, but he does. I just don't think Wilder would ever go for a guy Tor's messing around with."

"Wait, why?" I asked.

"Uh..." Hawke dropped down to sit on the corner of my bed, the closest place to my desk he could get. "Um..."

"Things you can't talk about?" I offered.

"Well..." He dropped his head and scrubbed at his mouth. "Magical differences?"

"Because Torian's a jevadu?" I asked. "I mean, don't tell me Wilder's racist!"

"No!" Hawke hurried to assure me. "No, not that. I mean. Shit!"

I took a bite of my meal, then turned my chair so I could see him. "Is it because Torian's a prick about things, always acts like he's better than everyone else, and tends to be cruel about it?"

"Kinda, yeah," Hawke agreed. "Although I wouldn't have said it like that, but I can see where you'd think so."

"I mean, I get it," I said. "Before I got here, I was shit on by everyone. Not only was I always the new girl, but I was a loser, didn't have parents, didn't have cool clothes, and all that shit. I got pretty good at lashing out before they could embarrass me, so everyone called me a bitch."

"Yeah," Hawke agreed. "Kinda like that, but add in growing up with the Mad Queen, and you get a better picture. "

"Shit," I said, actually thinking about that. "Ok, yeah. No wonder he's a dick."

"So, like, Keir?" Hawke asked. "If he, you know, fell into bed with Wilder..."

"Good for them?" I shook my head, not sure what he wanted.

"So I should push Wilder to make a move?" he asked. "Since Torian isn't, and I think they'd be cute."

"So cute!" I agreed. "Yes! Oh my god, that would be perfect. And then I wouldn't feel so bad about me and Aspen, and me and Keir, and yeah."

"And maybe I can still kinda flirt with you?" Hawke asked.

I giggled. "You know how to flirt?"

"Not really, no," he admitted. "I just..

." He shifted a bit on the bed and glanced down at the floor.

"You know how before the Hunt showed up, we were all just laughing and having a good time?

And how in practice, you and Keir really make me work for it, but I'm getting better with my weapons by fighting both of you at once? "

I wasn't quite sure where he was going, but I knew those things. "Yeah?"

"That's kinda the best I got," Hawke said softly.

"Well, I thought the whole standing close and saying you wanted to kiss me was pretty hot."

"And then I totally kissed you without consent!" he shot back.

"Hawke, when I grab you by the shirt and shove my tongue down your throat, that's consent!"

"Yeah, but it didn't start that way. And I'm..." He sighed. "Rain, I'm shit at this. The only reason Wilder and I ended up together was because I made Torian leave him alone. He appreciated it, so we got talking, and then he made a move. Otherwise, I would've thought we were just friends."

"Ok?"

"See, I kind of said he was hot in the middle of yelling at Torian, and Wilder heard, and he made the move.

I just..." He ducked his head to shove his fingers into that warm brown hair.

"We're all tired of having things taken from us, Rain.

Doesn't matter if that's friends being hauled off by the Hunt, or traditions being fucked up by faelings.

The Queen took our homes and our lives. The Summer groupies are taking everything we held dear, and so to take your consent like that?

It's... It's really not ok. So yeah, maybe it's my best move, but it's pretty shitty. "

"I like this one too," I told him. "The one where you skip class to make sure I'm not alone. "

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "It's the sort of thing a friend would do."

"The Keir kind of friend, or the Torian kind?"

"The Keir and Aspen kind."

A little shy smile took over his mouth. "Ok. Noted. So, um, maybe tomorrow I can take you on a walk? You know, since you'll be allowed to do such taxing things?"

"And if I get all faint and pass out again?" I asked, knowing damned well I wouldn't.

Hawke lifted his eyes and met mine. "I'd carry you back, of course."

"Rain..." Jack did his best to whisper.

"Not now, bird," I told him. "I'm getting hit on."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jack nodding emphatically, but Hawke? He just smiled. Yes, there was a little pink on his face too. It looked really good on him.

And this whole fae romance thing? I could get used to it. Not just all the options - because while that was nice, it was also a bit intimidating. No, my favorite part was how the fae didn't rush things. Friends first actually seemed to mean something to them.

And that meant everything to me.