Page 6

Axell

It’s funny when I was younger; I always swore there was no way I could ever share my bed with anyone.

I’m a big guy and I like my room. Then Sadie came along, and I’ll admit at first it was awkward.

You worry about snoring or talking in your sleep.

Always afraid of embarrassing yourself so you don’t really get comfortable but after a few weeks having someone beside you just becomes your normal.

I quickly got used to the warmth that Sadie’s body put off and the extra weight on my chest from where she rests her head.

I like that the bed always smelled like honeysuckle because it reminded me of her even when she wasn’t around.

Sleeping on the couch the past few nights reminded me of all that.

I hated how the cool air from the air conditioning would sneak under my blanket and wrap around me.

It was a constant reminder of the distance that was between us at the moment and I always hate when Sadie and I seem off with one another.

I stare at her as she sleeps and remind myself how lucky I am.

I should have never brought racing up the other night.

I knew that was a huge no for her. I knew what the reaction would be and what it would cause.

Sadie will go to the races to watch but she never really watches.

She fears car wrecks and death so watching people that she cares about is too much for her.

She never asked me to quit racing, but she made it clear that she couldn’t be with me if I decided to still race after I almost had a wreck. I still remember it all like it was yesterday instead of years ago.

It was race night, and my blood was pumping in overtime.

I couldn’t wait to get behind that wheel.

I could feel the nerves coming off Sadie, so I place my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me, trying to reassure her.

I had this. I was the king of the streets. I had no fear when it came to this.

Racing was the one thing I had always had control over in my life. And now with my mom dying, I felt that need for control even more. I had to be the strong one for my dad and brothers, but it wasn’t always easy. I was losing her too, but I couldn’t break down like that.

Sadie looks up at me. “Something feels off about tonight.”

I shake my head and chuckle. “Baby, nothing is going to go wrong. I got this. I could race this road blindfolded.”

I can see the unease written all over her face, but I just shake it off.

Finally, it’s time for us to place our buy in and get lined up.

I’m always the last to race since I’m known as the king.

Jagger will start off the races, then Bowie, Jones, and Tillman.

As I slide into my car a boom of thunder fills the air.

An eerie quiet, falls over the crowd on the sidelines. The brewing storm begins to pick up more momentum in the middle of Jagger’s race. Lightning has now joined the party along with gusting winds. I roll my shoulders in an attempt to release the pent-up tension that has built there.

I scan the sidelines and see Hollis, Harlyn, Lyndsay, and Sadie standing together. The look on Sadie’s face breaks my heart. She is a nervous wreck. I try to push the thought and image of her from my mind as I move to the front of the line.

Sprinkles start to come down just as Jemma steps up to flag us.

I turn my music up louder and roll my windows up to drown out the noise of the storm.

I take my palms and wipe them over my jeans trying to dry the sweat that is forming there.

I don’t know what has gotten into me. I’ve raced in worse weather than this before.

I move my head from side to side to stretch it, then try to focus just on the race.

Just as Jemma flags us to go, a strike of lightning lights up the sky above us.

It’s like the sky just opens up as the rain comes pouring down.

We’ve already left the start line and I’ll be damned if I stop now because of some rain.

We move around the designated route for the race but on the last curve coming up to the finish line Patrick, the guy I’m racing, loses control of his car on wet asphalt and clips my bumper.

With the wet road I’m unable to get the traction I need to keep the car on the road.

The car begins to fishtail. My heart is slamming against my chest, sweat burns my eyes, and my breathing is heavier than ever before.

Is this it? Is this where I die? Is all that keeps playing through my mind. I send a quick prayer out because I really hope it’s not. I haven’t even told Sadie I love her yet, but I do. Who will take care of my brothers?

Luckily, neither cars flip, but Patrick slides off the road and grazes a street light and a bench. I come to a stop as my car jumps the sidewalk and scrapes along a brick building. My seat belt won’t come undone. Bowie yanks the passenger side door open. “You scared the shit out of us bro!”

“The seat belt is jammed,” I tell him as I pull with all of my muscle.

“Hold on let Tillman grab a tool,” Bowie says as he disappears.

Roscoe climbs in through the passenger side door with a crowbar. “That was some stupid ass shit, dumbass! What the hell were you thinking racing in a damn rainstorm?”

I sigh heavily. “Shut the hell up and just get me out of here.”

The buckle clicks and it releases me. I climb over to the passenger seat.

Once I step outside Sadie slams into my body.

Her tiny arms wrap around my waist and she pulls me as close as she can.

She’s shaking like a leaf from being wet and cold or scared, I don’t know.

I rub circles on her back. I lean down and press a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m okay. No big deal,” I say trying to calm her.

She pulls back and glares at me and before I can react, she slaps my face with all her strength. “You selfish son of a bitch,” is all she says to me before she turns on her heels and storms away. The rain is still coming down and her image quickly fades.

I hear my car scraping against the building as someone tries to move it back to the street, but I could care less. All I care about right now is Sadie and the fact that I might have just lost her.

I knew I had scared Sadie, but I figured she’d come around in a few days, but four days later and there was still no Sadie.

She hadn’t called, she hadn’t come by, and when I saw her at school, she’d go the opposite direction.

I didn’t know what to do. My heart ached for me to go to her, but my pride said screw it and move on.

There were a ton of other girls who would be more than happy to be on my arm. I didn’t need Sadie.

The problem was I wanted Sadie. If I’m being honest with myself, I do need her.

Sadie is the only one who stands up to me when I’m being ridiculous.

She is the only one that tells me how it is instead of just going with whatever I say.

She makes me go home and face the music and be present in the moment.

When I’m with her I don’t have to chase the adrenaline rush or look for control because she calms me somehow.

In just a few short months Sadie has done the one thing no one else ever has.

She has climbed over every wall I had. Walls that I built to keep the reputation I had.

Walls that protected me from the cruelty of the world.

She scaled them and won then she wove herself into my heart. There was no shaking Sadie.

I was sitting at lunch with my group of friends when it dawned on me, I was going to have to forget my pride and go to her if I wanted her back. It was either that or learn to live with this ache in my heart that only Sadie could fix.

After school I headed to the shop with my brothers to get to work.

The shop was my home away from home and I loved it here.

Everything about this shop was comfort to me, but today I didn’t want to be here.

I knew I had to talk to Sadie. I had to fix this because at the end of the day, I needed her in my life.

At seven o’clock we called it quits. I washed up and jogged to my car.

Bowie asked me where I was off to in a hurry.

I replied for him not to wait up. I sped through the streets, eager to get Sadie back but as I pulled up to her house it was dark, no cars in the driveway, nothing.

I got out and rang the doorbell anyway, but of course, there was no answer.

I refused to leave until I could talk to Sadie, so I went back to my car, getting comfortable while waiting for her.

I must have dozed off because oncoming headlights woke me.

A small white car pulled into the driveway and to my surprise I saw a guy from school hop out and go to the passenger side.

Sadie appears from the other side of the car.

Emotions flood me. All I can think is this can’t be happening.

I have a death grip on my steering wheel causing my knuckles to turn white.

I have to keep talking myself out of beating his ass.

I have no right to take my anger out on him. Technically, he has done nothing wrong.

Sadie quickly hugs him then turns to head for her house when her eyes fall on my car.

The other car backs out without a second glance and leaves Sadie standing in her front yard.

Neither of us blink, neither of us move.

Finally, I manage to get myself out of the car.

Slowly, I move toward her. I don’t know how I’m moving or why, but I’m drawn to Sadie.