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“We’re good. We actually had an early date last night. You’re plan worked, thank you by the way,” Seth says.

I smile and it’s the first real smile I’ve had on my face since yesterday morning. “Good, I’m glad,” and I am glad. I’m glad that things seem to be working out for at least one of us.

I leave Seth’s and head home. I need to shower and change so I can catch my flight.

I just don’t know what to expect when I get there.

What if all of my belongings are sitting outside?

What if Axell kicks me out the minute I walk in?

My mind goes through every worst-case scenario as I drive home.

To my relief, I don’t see any of my things as I pull into the driveway.

When I enter the house it’s quiet. I stop in the kitchen and start a pot of coffee.

I peek into Jovi’s room and see him fast asleep in his bed.

I brace myself outside our bedroom door for whatever Axell might say or do, but to my surprise when I open the door, I find the bedroom empty.

The bed hasn’t been touched since I made it up yesterday.

I check the closet and see all of his clothes are still there.

I check the bathroom and see all of his personal items are there too.

The room doesn’t smell like he’s been in it recently either.

The thought of Axell not coming home last night feels me with even more dread.

Who was he with? What was he doing? I may not have a right to ask those questions after everything I just put us through, but I can’t stand the thought of him telling some other girl about all of this.

He told me he’d stay at Bowie’s, but I guess a part of me had hoped he wouldn’t.

A part of me had hoped that this would all be easy.

I’d come home, and he’d be waiting for me.

I’d apologize, and he’d tell me he still loved me, and we’d find a way to move on.

I knew it couldn’t be that easy, but I wanted it to be.

Now, our bedroom seems cold and silent. The moments we shared here are just a memory.

I somehow manage to pull myself together and climb into the shower and get dressed.

I pull my hair back in a ponytail and forego any makeup.

I have no one I need to impress. I call for a cab, write a note to Axell, and roll my luggage into the hallway.

I stop in the kitchen to fix myself a to-go cup of coffee when Jovi staggers into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Are you leaving mom?”

I turn and smile at him. “Yeah, my flight leaves in a bit. I don’t want to be rushed if I get stuck in traffic.”

“I’ll drive you,” he offers.

I shake off his offer. “No, I already called a cab. You go back to bed. I’m sure you had a late night.”

He nods his head. “Where did you and dad take off to anyways?” I give him a questioning look.

“Oh, come on, you two were dancing then you both rushed outside. He came back in and took a bottle of whiskey from the bar that he thought no one saw and left again. You never came back. It wasn’t all that hard to put together. ”

My heart sinks further but I put on a smile for Jovi. “You don’t really want details, do you?”

Jovi shivers. “Oh no!”

I laugh then step forward and hug him. “You behave while I’m gone. Listen to your dad and stay out of trouble. I love you.”

“I will behave. I love you too mom,” he tells me before he presses a kiss to my cheek. “Have a safe flight and let me know when you land.”

“I will. Get back to bed,” I tell him as I motion for him to leave the room.

Once his door shuts, I blow out an unsteady breath.

Where had Axell went? I don’t have time to think about all of it right now.

I check my phone again and not surprising, I still have no missed calls or texts from Axell.

Sighing, I roll my luggage out of the house and onto the front porch to wait for the cab, but to my surprise the cab isn’t there but Axell is.

****

Axell

As I pull up to the house, I’m shocked to see a cab in front.

I shouldn’t be because I’m not sure how else I expected Sadie to get to the airport.

Jovi should have taken her instead of letting her take a cab, but if he was asleep there’s no way Sadie would wake him up.

I walk over to the cab and lean in the passenger side window.

“You can go ahead and leave. I got stuck in traffic and we weren’t sure I’d make it in time.

Thank you,” I tell him as I hand him a twenty-dollar bill for his time.

He pulls away from the curb and I look down to check the time on my watch.

Sadie should be leaving any time now so instead of going inside I wait outside the car.

The early morning air is fresh, and I breathe deeply while trying to decide what I’m going to say or do.

By the time I see the front door opening I still have no clue.

Sadie steps out onto the porch and I take a moment to memorize everything about her.

Her hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail.

She’s dressed for a day of travel in jeans and a band t-shirt.

She slips her shades over her eyes before she realizes that I’m in here in place of the cab.

I can tell she is shocked by the sudden intake of breath.

I move toward her and reach around to take her luggage.

Once it’s placed in the trunk of the car, I open the passenger side door for her, but she is still frozen in the same spot.

I motion for her to come and eventually she begins moving again.

As she passes by me her honeysuckle scent moves through the air and the ache it creates in my heart is almost unbearable.

Once she’s safely inside, I shut the door and make my way around to the driver’s side.

As I pull into the traffic an awkward silence fills the air.

That was always the thing about Sadie and I, we never suffered from awkward silence, until now.

Everything is different now. Sadie wrings her hands that lie in her lap; her sign that she is nervous.

I hate that she’s nervous but how do I soothe her when I’m on edge myself?

By the time we reach the airport Sadie and I still haven’t spoken a word to one another.

I know that we both have plenty to say, yet our throats are clogged when we need the words the most. My emotions rage on the inside but I seem as calm as can be on the outside.

As I park, I go to get out of the car, but Sadie stops me.

“I got it.” I sit back even more uncertain what to do.

Sadie takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry Axell.

I never meant to hurt you and I never meant to intentionally lie to you.

The story was something my mom created, and I followed her.

By the time I knew I needed to tell you I just didn’t know how and that’s my mistake.

I own that and I’m sorry, but you have to know I love you.

I’ll always love you,” she tells me as she leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek.

She leaves the car in a rush with nothing but the warmth from her mouth lingering on my cheek and the scent of her perfume filling the car.

I don’t know how long I sit in the parking lot staring at the people as they move around.

Finally, I pull out and head to the shop.

Throwing myself into work seems like the only thing I can do right now.

I always had two distractions when I was younger; work and racing.

Then I exchanged racing for Sadie and now I’m left with just work.

The memory of racing the punk kid at the red light comes flooding back as I pull into the shop.

The feeling of being behind the wheel at extreme speeds consumes me yet again.

I have an itch to race, but I know I won’t.

That itch has been there for years. I’ve ignored it this long and I’ll continue now.

Agitation fills my every movement. I unlock the doors and open the shop for the day.

It’s a couple hours earlier than normal but it doesn’t matter.

I get busy with paperwork before starting work on Tillman’s cars.

Most of the parts we needed arrived yesterday.

I have the radio on filling the silence of the shop.

Bowie’s voice comes through the speakers since he’s hosting the show this morning.

I listen for a moment before getting back to work.

Before I know it the rest of the workers start to arrive.

They greet me good morning and I try not to be a jerk to them.

My foul mood is not their fault so I’m trying not to take it out on them.

Jagger shows up about ten minutes before noon.

He works at the shop most of time and at Londynn’s dance studio, Tip Toes, cleaning the place up and what not.

Jagger approaches me. “Hey man, what happened to you and Sadie last night? You guys just disappeared.”

I shrug without looking at him. “It was just time to go.”

Jagger scoffs and I can feel him studying me. “That’s all you’re going to say because Londynn mentioned seeing Sadie leave in your car but never saw you.”

I stand up and level Jagger with a glare. “Maybe, Londynn should mind her own damn business.”

“She was minding her own damn business. She was just worried, that’s all. What the hell has gotten into you?” Jagger asks.

I growl in frustration. “You and your damn twenty questions. I didn’t realize I need to get permission from you every time I made a decision or went somewhere.” I move past him, nudging his shoulder as I go, but Jagger isn’t dumb. He knows something is wrong and he isn’t going to let it go.

I hear him following me. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re pissed, and I know you. You’re worse than Bowie when you’re pissed, you only see red.”

I turn around and come toe-to-toe with my brother, barely an inch between us. “Back off Jagger.”

“Is this because Sadie left this morning?”

At the mention of her name I feel my facade fall.

I’ve been trying to keep it together, trying to keep the red at bay, but Jagger couldn’t just let it go.

Before I even realize it my fist flies toward Jagger’s jaw.

It’s almost as if the world is spinning in slow motion.

I watch as my fist connects with Jagger’s jaw.

I feel the ache in my knuckles as it radiates up my arm.

Jagger’s head pops back before he stumbles into the car behind him.

My breathing is labored, and Jagger’s eyes are wide in shock.

I attempt to take a deep breath but the weight of what I just did comes crashing down.

I shake my head and try to mumble an apology, but I can’t make anything on my body work except my feet.

My body begins to move backwards until I turn around and jog to my car.

As I slide behind the wheel of the car, I take my first deep breath of air.

I rake my hands through my hair before pounding my fists on the steering wheel.

Throwing my car into drive I peel out of the lot and onto the street, barely missing the oncoming traffic.