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Axell

I check to make sure Sadie is still asleep before I get out of bed.

She cried herself to sleep last night. Jovi and his best friend Lance leave tomorrow for boot camp.

They graduated a couple of weeks ago so now it’s time to start the next phase of their lives.

I wasn’t sure if he’d really enlist until he told me he already had.

I won’t lie it scares the hell out of me for him.

He’s the baby and we’ve always done everything we could to protect him from the world but now he’s going out into the world.

The world that can be so cruel and full of hate and evil.

I know he can handle it. Hell, Jovi can handle anything that’s just who he is, but I worry about how this experience might change him. Regardless, I’m so damn proud of him.

Last night, my brothers, Drake, and I all went out to eat and bowling, sort of like Jovi’s last hoorah before leaving us.

We all enjoyed it, but I know that in the back of our minds we were all worried about the possibility of never seeing him again.

I hope that doesn’t happen because he deserves to be happy.

I know Drake is sad to see him go. They bonded quickly which I was thankful for once I finally woke from my coma.

Having Drake around has actually been an easy transition.

It’s like he’s always been a part of the family.

He’s going to start working at the shop soon.

He might as well already be employed there since he spends the majority of his time there anyways.

Drake is a good kid and like Jovi he’s suffered some great losses at an early age but somehow, they’ve managed to take it in stride.

Sadie and him have a really strong relationship now, and that makes things even better.

I make my way across the hallway and open the door to the nursery quietly.

Dawsyn is crying because she’s hungry. It’s the only time she does cry.

I pick her up and she stops, her baby blue eyes meet mine and she gives me one of those adorable toothless baby smiles.

The one that has had me wrapped around her finger from the day she was born.

We make our way to the kitchen and I fix her a bottle before going back to her room and taking a seat in the nursery.

I feed, burp and rock her back to sleep but instead of placing her in her crib I decide to just hold her.

When I had first heard we were going to have a baby I got scared.

I worried I wouldn’t be a good dad and it all seemed so impossible to me.

I had lost a good amount of time while in the coma.

Sadie had the time to wrap her head around becoming a mom while I was out.

I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the idea by the time I got to go to the doctor with her.

When he pulled out the ultrasound machine and I heard her tiny heartbeat it sunk in.

My need for speed is no more. Actually, none of us are really racing anymore.

Jagger, Bowie and I are busy with our kids.

Ace is busy with Kynlee and Jovi may have wanted to race but never got into it.

Somebody new will come up and take our place and I’m okay with that now.

I’m still rocking Dawsyn as the sun starts to peek up over the horizon.

Sadie comes into the room with a sleepy smile on her face. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Good morning babe,” she replies. “We need to start getting ready.” I nod and place Dawsyn back in her crib when I turn around Sadie launches herself into my arms while reaching up to trace the scar under my eye left over from the accident.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t stand out too bad, but I often find Sadie tracing it.

She always tells me it’s a good reminder of what she almost lost and that I’m not invincible.

“Tell me everything will be okay,” she demands.

I rub her back. “Everything will be fine.” Oddly, enough I believe that.

Sadie was my saving grace in life and even if at the time I didn’t know it she gave me two of the most amazing gifts I could have asked for, Drake and Dawsyn.

Our life hasn’t been the easiest, but it has been full.

Full of laughs, full of family, full of speed but most of all full of love.

One part of our story is ending but the other part is just beginning.

I take Sadie’s hand and pull her back into our bedroom, so we can get ready to go see Jovi off.

Jovi is starting a new part of his story too. I wonder if he’s as excited as I am.