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“Can we do this once we are back in the car, please?” Jovi asks, and I hear the plead in his voice, so I just nod.

Once we’re back in the car Jovi leans forward and turns down the radio.

“I’m sorry about last night. I was on the phone with Monrowe and she was telling me that she didn’t think I really loved her and that maybe it was best if we ended things now.

I kept trying to explain things to her, but she wouldn’t listen.

Eventually, she hung up on me, but I knew she was crying so I felt like I had to go to her.

I got dressed and snuck out of the house but when I got there, she wouldn’t talk to me, but I guess I started to raise my voice, so she came outside and we went to the beach. ”

What he says makes sense, but he didn’t explain one thing, “And the beer?”

“A really dumb decision. I got it before I picked up Monrowe. I just feel like my life should be sorting out and moving on, it’s just getting messier and I’m moving backwards,” he explains.

“How did you get the beer, Jovi?”

He sighs while scrubbing his hands over his face. “Brendon had a fake ID made for me as a gag gift for my last birthday. I’ve never used it before and never planned on it. It was a rash decision.”

I don’t know what I feel right now. I’m relieved that he’s never bought any before but angry that he even has a fake ID. “Well, as soon as we get home you are giving me that fake ID.”

“Yes ma’am.” We drive home in a comfortable quiet.

Jovi gives me the ID as soon as we get home.

I cut it up and toss it in the trash. Jovi gets back to his chores around the house and Axell is at work, so I decide to start packing.

Tomorrow is Ace and Kynlee’s wedding, and I’ll be leaving the following morning.

Between now and then I have to find a way to tell Axell everything and hope he still loves me.

****

Axell

When Jovi left to go have lunch with Sadie, I decided to go check on things at the shop and JamesTown.

After his stunt last night, I needed a break.

It wasn’t even the stunt it was his attitude about the stunt, like we were supposed to just be okay with it.

I know he is probably going through a hard time right now with trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life.

Ace and Jovi were the only two that really had a choice to make when graduating high school.

The moment our mother passed away I knew my fate was sealed.

I knew I was going to have to step up and finish raising my brothers.

We all had college funds at one time but when mom came down sick and the insurance wouldn’t cover treatments, Bowie, Jagger, and I quickly decided college wasn’t something we needed.

I also figured that if we all put a portion of our race winnings into an account we could have enough for Ace and Jovi to go to college.

Luckily, we were able to get their accounts set up and enough money for their schooling if they decided they wanted to go.

I can’t pretend to understand having to make a life changing decision.

The closest decision I’ve made that was life changing was picking Sadie over racing.

At the time it seemed like a no brainer for me.

I gave up something I loved for something I loved more.

It didn’t seem so life changing when I made the decision, but now that I look back, I guess it was life changing.

I picked a path, one that I wouldn’t change for anything.

Tomorrow Ace is getting married, his second life changing decision he’s making.

Sadie will leave for South Carolina the following morning.

That’s going to be a huge adjustment. We’ve never been apart for long periods since graduating high school.

Not having her around to come home to is going to be the oddest part.

I know she needs to go. She needs to make amends with her mother and she needs this time for closure.

Also, I don’t doubt her mother needs the help and having a nurse like Sadie around definitely couldn’t hurt.

It’s funny, things seemed so calm and in order of just a few months ago and now it seems like everything is spinning at super speed.

Jovi graduating and his antics, Sadie leaving for who knows how long, Ace getting married.

Maybe, things will simmer back down once everything is taken care of.

I just hope that Jovi doesn’t act up too much while Sadie is away.

I’ve never been very good with certain parts of parenting.

Sadie always wants to get to the bottom of everything.

She always asks the questions of why they are acting the way they are.

Not me, nope, my initial reaction is to go hard ass drill sergeant on them.

That was our dad’s way and I guess it’s mine too.

It’s even more difficult when it’s Jovi.

He’s always been the one to walk the line and make good decisions.

He’s never been like the rest of us, so it has allowed me to expect more from him.

That’s the problem with expectations; when the person falls short the disappointment is suffocating.

I’ve learned to expect disappointment but not when it comes to Jovi or Sadie.

I’m so lost in thoughts that I don’t hear Ralph, one of the mechanics, holler for me.

When I look up it’s like seeing a ghost from my past. He’s slightly taller and a lot broader with tattoos peeking out from under his sleeves but his smile still has the boyish charm to it. “James!” he calls out to me.

“Tillman?”

He nods, “I heard this was your place a few months ago and I had to check it out.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” I tell him. “If you weren’t the last person I expected to see walk into my shop. You want to grab a drink next door and catch up?”

“Hell yeah!”

We make our way through the hallway that connects both buildings. We grab a couple of stools and order from Farrah. “So, how’d you end up in L.A.?”

“Well, I was racing a few nights ago and my girl knew a guy there said he was from here. I mentioned you and come to find out he’s best friends with your brother and she’s an ex of yours,” he explains.

“I’m guessing Jaxx as the guy but I’m not sure what girl you’re talking about. I’ve never actually had a girlfriend aside from Sadie.”

“Jemma and she didn’t really say ex. She said you guys used to date,” Tillman comments.

I chuckle. “Yeah, we dated when we needed a date for something but nothing serious.” Tillman shakes his head. “What?”

“Man, I thought you were dead when you disappeared on us.”

“Dead?” I say with a laugh. “Really, you thought I was dead?”

“Well, you just disappeared, no comment, never to be seen again, what the hell was I supposed to think?” he asks.

I shrug, “I’m sorry. It was just after we talked, and you told me about you and that girl, I kept thinking about Sadie. I knew I had to make a choice and honestly, hearing you talk made it an easy choice for me.”

Tillman smiles. “So, you got her back?”

I hold up my hand to show him my wedding ring. “Yep, I got her back and I’m never letting her go again.”

“Damn, you’re married?”

“Yeah, just recently actually, but we’ve been together since I talked to you. That night actually,” I tell him.

“Okay, this I gotta hear,” Tillman says while rubbing his hands together.

I let my mind drift back to that memory.

By the time I got back to L.A. it was drizzling.

It’s the middle of the night and I should be exhausted, but I’m so full of energy that I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to.

Talking to Tillman put my mind in perspective.

As much as I love racing, I’ve found something I love more.

Something that feels more vital. Something that feels real.

Sadie. I love Sadie more than I could ever love racing.

Not having Sadie around anymore has made me realize that even in our short amount of time, she had become vital to me.

I actually feel like there is a piece of me missing without her in my life.

Sadie is real. When I’m racing, I’m chasing a high that only lasts for the length of the race.

As soon as the car starts to slow down the reality sets in and the high disappears.

With Sadie around I don’t need any of that.

The only thing I need to remind me of who I am is Sadie. She keeps me level headed.

I’ve made my decision and I find myself taking the route to her place instead of mine.

As I pull in front of her house, I see that it is dark.

My plan is to wait until morning but the longer I set there the more desperate I become to see her, feel her, hold her.

Before I can think twice about it, I’m out of my car and moving to her window. I know a couple of times.

A lamp light appears from behind the curtain and I hold my breath until I see her face peek around the curtain.

I watch as relief floods her features. She motions that she will meet me at the front door.

Sadie appears a few seconds later slipping one of my hoodie’s over her head. “Axell, what are you doing here?”

I step forward, “I had to see you.”

“At this time of night?” she asks.

“It couldn’t wait, Sadie,” I tell her as I finish closing the distance between us.

I pull her toward me, but she resists. We’re getting soaked, but it doesn’t matter.

I’ll stand out here all night until she comes to me with ease, like she used to.

“Sadie, I just got done racing. I’ve been doing a lot of that since you left me.

I thought it helped. I thought it filled a void, but it doesn’t.

I race, and I win, but it doesn’t mean anything without you there by me. ”

“Axell…,” Sadie says while trying to move away from me.

I shake my head. “Please, don’t. Let me finish.

” She looks up at me. Raindrops causing her hair to cling to her face.

“Sadie, before you, racing was the only thing I knew, the only thing I wanted. You showed up and changed it all in such a short amount of time. You showed me so much more. I love you Sadie. I choose you.”

Based on the shuddering breath she pulls in I think she’s crying, but the rain makes it impossible to tell. “Axell, you can’t choose me over racing. You’ll end up resenting and hating me in the end.”

I take her face between my hands and make her look me in the eye. “There was no choice once you entered my life. I love you Sadie. I love you more than racing. I’ll always choose you above all else. Tell me you don’t want to give this a try.

Sadie closes her eyes. “Axell, you say all of this now but what about later?”

“I know what happens later. I’ve spent my time without you and I don’t want to ever do that again. I don’t have to worry about later because what I’m saying now will still be true no matter the length of time. I love you Sadie, I choose you, tell me you don’t love me.”

“I…” she hesitates, and I hold my breath while she takes her time finishing that sentence. “love you. I choose you.” Before she even fully finishes that sentence, I bring my mouth crashing down on hers. Her honeysuckle scent invades my senses and I’ve never felt more at home in my life.

“Damn, you sure know how to get the girl,” Tillman comments.

I smile because I didn’t know if I’d get the girl, but I know I’m lucky as hell that I did. “I’m lucky. So, do you still race?”

Tillman nods. “Yeah, that’s another reason I’m here. I just bought a car, Corvette C7, I want to use it to race but it needs a lot of work to be street ready. Word on the street is that this shop is the best place in town for what I’m looking for.”

“Word on the street?” I ask.

“Yeah, they even say you fixed up Enzo Jones’ car, you know the lead singer of Royal Eternity?”

I nod “We did. I’m sure we can get your car street ready.”

Tillman pats my shoulder. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Tillman and I continue to catch up. He fills me in on how the racing with Roberto and Manuel is going.

Seems not much has changed except the money is even larger than before.

Eventually, we make our way back outside to see his car.

I make notes of all the changes he wants to make, then we exchanged numbers and I promise to send him a quote tomorrow.

As I head back into the shop, I can’t help but think this day has been far more interesting than I expected.