Page 93 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

“Neil, whether you like it or not, I’m not going to leave you here to face this on your own,” I said firmly. He had to stop running away from me. There was no reason for it.

“I’ve always faced everything on my own, with help from no one.” He smiled bitterly, staring at nothing in particular. Then, he frowned thoughtfully and parted his lips to let loose a cloud of smoke into the air.

“Well, not anymore. I’m here now.” I sat down next to him. I was probably risking one of his fits of rage but I didn’t care.

Then, Neil turned to me and blew more smoke directly into my face. I coughed but didn’t complain. I knew he was doing it to irritate me, knowing how much I hated the smell of cigarettes.

“He’s going to be okay.” I refused to give up, and I was going to keep supporting him, even when he tried to thwart me at every turn.

“And why do you think that?” he sneered and turned those magnificent eyes on me, staring intensely.

“Because Logan is stronger than he seems,” I said softly, swinging my legs against the wall. Neil’s gaze dropped from my eyes to my lips and my heart flipped.

“You really believe that?” he asked in the barest whisper.

“I’m certain of it.”

We kept staring at each other, and it occurred to me—not for the first time—that in addition to being the most beautiful in the world, his eyes were the only ones capable of peering right into my soul.

I wanted to kiss him, and I got the feeling he wanted the same thing. But we couldn’t, not out here where we ran the risk of being caught by Matt or Mia.

“Maybe it’d be best if we went back inside.” It was Neil who broke eye contact first, and I was grateful because I could finally breathe again.

We hopped off the wall and returned to the hospital. I followed him, confused and increasingly convinced that I was never going to understand what he and I were.

We weren’t kissing.

We weren’t having sex.

We weren’t in love.

We were blank sheet of paper onto which something still had yet to be inscribed.

***

That night was devastating for everyone.

Alyssa, Cory, and the rest of Logan’s friends all rushed to the hospital as soon as they heard about the accident.

Alyssa, in particular, was distraught, and she told me that night that she was in love with Logan.

I thought about how happy he would have been if he’d been able to hear her declaration of love.

But I was positive that he would hear Alyssa’s voice again, that he was going to wake up and come back to us.

Anna and Chloe joined us later, the latter of whom supported her mother through the hours of agony. I knew having her children close by would help keep Mia’s hopes alive.

What no one saw coming, however, was the sudden appearance of the man Neil hated most in all the world.

“Where is my son? What happened?” The voice was strong and deep but nevertheless revealed the agitated state of mind of its owner, Mr. William Miller.

He was a good-looking man, impeccably turned out with an icy stare.

The kind of person who aroused suspicion with the very perfection he showed off so ostentatiously.

I’d heard about him and seen the occasional picture of him in the tabloids, but I’d never seen him in person.

“Are you kidding me? Get this piece of shit out of here!” Neil barked, stabbing a finger at his father while never taking his eyes off Mia. Unexpectedly, I found myself standing between the two men, unsure of what I should do.

I didn’t know much about his history with his father, because Mr. Disaster had never really told me anything about him. He refused to confide in me or allow me to get to know him in even the smallest ways.

It wasn’t that I wanted to invade his personal life or force him to change or pass judgment on him. I just wanted to be a touchstone for him, a person he could trust.

“Neil…” I instinctively put my hand on his shoulder, perhaps trying to get a handle on this ridiculous situation. Mia was looking between her ex-husband and her son in such a bewildered fashion that I felt pity for her.

“Don’t touch me, Selene!” Neil barked out the order, making me take a step back. It was as though his body was being lit up by the fires of his hatred, a hatred that was driving him further into oblivion.

“Neil, William is your father; he has a right to know your brother’s condition,” Mia said finally, though her voice was a barely audible whisper.

“This is your fault, isn’t it?” William gestured at his son, ignoring my presence completely.

“I wasn’t with him. I have no idea what happened,” Neil snapped defensively, and his mother got to her feet, clinging on to his arm. Was she afraid an actual fight might break out between father and son? Could they really be that far gone?

“I have a funny feeling that you had something to do with whatever happened. It’s always been this way with you, ever since you were a child.

You make a mess and everyone else has to suffer the consequences,” William answered threateningly through gritted teeth.

So this outwardly handsome, put-together man had something to hide after all.

There was something deeply ugly way down in his soul that made me shrink back from him.

“Shut your mouth if you don’t want me to boot your ass out of here,” Neil barked.

“You solve all your problems with violence,” William answered with a dark, shameless smile.

“Just how you taught me, you son of a bitch,” Neil whispered grimly, his golden eyes glaring daggers at the man. Mia’s fingers tightened around her son’s bicep.

I got the sense that William Miller had not been an exemplary father to Neil.

Maybe he’d even hit him. The idea made me shudder.

I didn’t want to picture Neil as a defenseless child, suffering violence at the hands of that icy man.

That was probably why Neil never wanted to tell me about himself, why he was so introspective and mistrustful, walled up in his own world.

“I want to see my son.” William turned to his ex-wife, apparently deciding to end this ill-advised conversation with Neil. Just then, Matt approached us, wearing a white coat and looking exhausted.

Everyone’s attention shifted to Matt. In that moment, any preexisting resentments were set aside for one reason and one reason only: Logan.

“How is he?” Neil asked.

“They’ve intubated him for now. He’s sustained severe trauma, and now all we can do is wait.

He won’t be out of the woods until we can get him to breathe on his own,” Matt explained, leaving room for negative outcomes that he didn’t elaborate upon.

Neil staggered back from him, running his hands through his hair, and Mia burst into tears with a wail so anguished that it pierced my heart.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done, Matt.

” William smiled woefully at him before taking a seat next to his ex-wife and balancing his elbows on his knees.

Neil, on the other hand, remained on the fringes of the group, and seeing how isolated he was, I decided to get closer to him.

I didn’t want him to endure all of this alone.

He stood perfectly still—his stare vacant and his plush lips compressed into a line of bitterness. I sat down next to him, not asking for permission.

The clean scent of his clothing washed over me. It smelled freshly scrubbed, exactly like his skin.

“You know what my mother always says?” I said, out of nowhere. I worried he would shoo me away, but surprisingly, he didn’t. He just kept leaning forward and staring intently at the floor as he listened to me.

“That life is a violin, and hope is its bow.” I gave him a small smile.

I wanted to touch him but held myself back, knowing Neil wouldn’t like it.

“And do you know why?” I went on, leaning slightly to get closer to him.

“Think about it: Can you play a violin without its bow? Maybe, but it certainly wouldn’t sound the same,” I mused aloud.

“In the same way, you can’t really live without hope. ”

Neil turned in my direction and stared at me with those gleaming, honey-colored eyes. He studied my face for several moments before sighing and turning his gaze back in front of him.

“And do you think hope is enough to save him?”

“Yes and you should do everything you can to find it inside you.” I put an instinctive hand on his knee, an unconscious gesture that I regretted the moment I did it. I was prepared to apologize and put the appropriate distance between us, but then, Neil did something that left me speechless.

He squeezed my hand with his own and pulled me closer to him. He didn’t look at me, and his other elbow was still propped up on his leg, but he kept my forearm pressed to his thigh as his fingers toyed with mine.

I held my breath because even just the touch of his hand was all-consuming for me.

“You really are a strange girl, Tinkerbell,” he murmured as he looked at my hand, which seemed so small compared to his.

I smiled. “And you’re a little bit of a disaster,” I answered with a hint of irony.

“A lot, I’d say,” he corrected, chewing on his lip.

Perhaps Neil was finally letting me touch his soul…

***

We spent the whole night in the hospital, waiting for news about Logan.

Several times, Mia told me to go home and get some rest, but there was no way I was going to leave my family there alone, especially not Neil.

I fell asleep in an awkward position on one of the chairs in the waiting room and woke up a few hours later with a powerful headache that made me grumble with pain.

“Selene.” A hand rested on my shoulder, and I blinked to focus on the figure looming above me. I could see dark stubble below a pair of hazel eyes.

“Matt,” I whispered, my voice still thick with sleep.

“I thought I’d bring you something hot. You haven’t eaten.” He handed me a cup of hot chocolate, and I reached up to take it.