Page 68 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

I walked toward her, the shape of her gradually solidifying as I approached.

She was reading a book by the light of a tiny reading lamp, though I didn’t see why she’d be doing that outside in the garden in the bitter autumn air rather than in her warm bed, clad in those awful pajamas with the tigers on them.

“You’ve chosen a rather strange place to dedicate yourself to your reading.

” I took out my pack of Winstons and extracted one cigarette with my teeth before fishing my lighter out of my jacket’s inside pocket.

A mild breeze scuttled my first attempt at lighting the cigarette, so I cupped my hand more tightly around it and turned to protect myself from the wind before trying again.

I succeeded in my goal and put everything back in my pocket before taking a seat on the chaise longue in front of Babygirl.

The dark sky, devoid of clouds, stretched over us like a starry blanket.

A view I would have happily enjoyed, had I not something more beautiful right there in front of me.

Selene’s long eyelashes stayed lowered, protecting those crystalline eyes as they scrolled line by line through her stupid book.

She was ignoring me, and I was absolutely not used to it.

I inhaled deeply and then pursed my lips to exhale directly into Tinkerbell’s beautiful little face.

She lifted her ocean eyes to me and coughed, wafting a hand in front of her nose.

“What the hell was that?” she snapped. Finally, I’d caught her attention. Though I didn’t understand why she was so surly and irritated.

“I asked you a question,” I insisted.

“And I didn’t feel like answering. Where I choose to read is none of your business.

” She turned back to her book, but I immediately knew that something wasn’t right.

We didn’t know each other very well, but I had learned a thing or two about her.

I knew how to read the things she wasn’t saying in her eyes.

“What did you see?” I asked her bluntly, and I heard Selene’s sharp inhalation.

Who knew how long she’d been out there; she’d probably caught me fucking that blond.

Not that I cared about her reaction—I didn’t have to justify myself to her or anyone else.

It was just that I knew she wasn’t capable of separating sex from emotions, and she couldn’t differentiate a physical encounter from a relationship; she perceived the whole situation very differently than I did.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She was lying. I could tell by the way her hands were trembling.

“How long have you been out here?” I tried again.

I didn’t even know why I was sitting out there in the cold, chasing the whims of this girl instead of just going into the house and falling blissfully asleep.

She sighed and looked at me with those ocean eyes that infected my thoughts every time.

And in that moment, I could perfectly recall every time I had touched her, every time I’d kissed her and dominated her body.

The occasions had been few, yes, but each one was so intense, giving me the kind of all-encompassing orgasms that I’d never experienced with anyone else.

“Long enough to realize what an asshole you really are.” She finally admitted what had been eating her up this whole time. She’d seen the blond, though I didn’t know exactly how much she had witnessed.

“You enjoy spying on me, huh? This is the second time you’ve done it.

” I teased, delighting in the blush that painted her high cheekbones.

Selene stood up immediately, and she was in such a hurry to escape that she left her closed book on the chaise longue.

I knew by now how reactive and even childish she could be, and on one hand, this aspect of her personality irritated me, but on the other hand, it also got me hot.

“Sorry to disappoint, but it actually only happened once, and it was repulsive,” she snapped back. All of sudden it was confusing to me, how we’d gone from ignoring each other for weeks to collaborating on solving a puzzle to arguing now about…what?

About nothing.

I grabbed her wrist and dragged her down onto my lap.

Selene clutched the thin blanket that had fallen off one shoulder and wrapped it close around her, like she was trying to protect herself from me.

I stubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray and put my hand on her hip.

The other one traversed her thigh, concealed by black leggings.

Soon, my fingers were not far away from her crotch, my palm so large that I almost covered her completely.

“What, exactly, was so repulsive?” I whispered sensually a short distance from her lips. She watched me with wide, wary eyes. She was afraid of me, and I didn’t like that at all.

“Seeing you do those things…” she answered vaguely, looking into the crystalline pool water illuminated by underwater lights rather than facing me.

“What things?” I wanted to hear her say something filthy, but I knew Selene would never do that. I rubbed her side in an attempt to get her to relax, because, perched there on my legs, she felt as stiff and taut as a violin string.

I examined her face, that little upturned nose, the dark pink lips pressed together, and long eyelashes that stood out clearly around the crystals she called eyes.

It was a beautiful face, and I couldn’t stop analyzing it like it was some architectural masterpiece that I wanted to re-create in my notebook.

Suddenly, my mind suggested that I do something very dumb.

I lifted my index finger and delicately traced the outline of her profile.

Selene gently turned her face toward me, watching and letting me touch her.

My index finger continued down her nose, over her lips, along her slim jaw.

A little gasp told me she was nervous, and I couldn’t tell whether it was from fear or anticipation, but I had known for a long time by then the effect I had on her.

I inched closer and sniffed her. She smelled like coconuts and a clean and that made me want to do other, equally dumb things.

Dumber, even.

I cocked my head and put my lips on her neck. I traced them up and down and up again, letting my tongue make a wet trail across her skin. Her hands clamped down on the blanket and my hands clamped down even harder on her hip and thigh.

“There’s no point in covering yourself up when the shivers are under your skin,” I whispered into her ear, grasping the lobe between my lips and sucking it, strong and slow. She dropped her hand to my stomach and clutched my sweater between her fingers.

“I can’t give you what you want. But you can use me and take what I have to offer…

” I grabbed her hand and pulled it lower, right where I wanted it.

“And it’s not my heart, Selene.” I underscored the point by pressing her hand into my crotch.

I wanted her to understand and stop spinning up these nonexistent fantasies.

Love was for the delusional; this right here was for the disillusioned. Like me.

“I’m not blond,” she murmured. I expected her to snatch her hand away at that point and run screaming. Maybe even slap me. But none of that happened.

Instead, she stroked me and my breath caught as I considered her words.

“I’m the only darker-haired girl you want…” she said thoughtfully.

She was the only one I wanted because she was Neverland, a fairy from a story, the door between reality and illusion.

She was all of that, and at the same time, nothing at all because she didn’t even exist in my world.

I wanted to say all of this to her, but I didn’t.

Instead, I just soaked in the heat of her hand, touching me just the way I’d been wanting for the last two weeks.

To be perfectly honest, I’d only been giving her time to recover after Jennifer’s attack. Fortunately, I’d been able to come to her rescue then, but I since wondered many times further Jennifer, in her frenzy, would have gone if I hadn’t been there.

“May… May I touch you?” She had stopped rubbing me between my thighs, and I had to shut my eyes as I nestled into the crook of her neck, only then registering how ridiculously close we were to one another.

She was me asking for permission to touch me? Where? And more importantly, why ?

She had probably realized a long time ago how weird I was in that way. She had noticed that I hated to be touched without my consent and that was why she was now asking my permission.

I didn’t say anything but nodded. Selene lifted her index finger and touched my forehead, which wrinkled as I frowned, realizing what she had in mind. Her finger stroked down my straight nose and she smiled.

She was echoing my gesture from before.

The tip of her finger was cold on my skin, but I didn’t object to her touch, which was soft and delicate.

“You have a perfect face,” she whispered, staring at my lips before moving her finger over them as well.

She traced the shape of my mouth and swallowed.

She wanted to kiss me; I could tell by the way her pupils dilated, shrinking the circle of ocean blue around them.

She drew her finger farther down to my chin and stroked the scruff on my jaw, continuing along to my throat.

The fabric of my sweater kept her touch from reaching my collarbone, yet it still felt as though I could sense her presence on my skin. Then, her palm flattened on the left side of my chest, right over my heart.

“Pounding. I can feel you, you know? Pounding so hard,” she murmured, as though she were actually speaking directly to the muscle inside my chest. And in that brief moment, I felt like I actually understood what it meant to be human, but it was such a fleeting feeling that I immediately snapped back to who I really was.