Page 109 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

Selene

Leaving was the best choice.

I’d thought a lot about going back to Detroit, especially after the furious argument I’d had with Neil.

Even worse, because of him, I’d done something extremely stupid. I’d kissed Luke to show him that I could be like him; to show him that I, too, could kiss someone without feeling anything. That I could be just like Jennifer and Alexia who…

No.

I wasn’t like them, and I wasn’t like Neil.

To my great misfortune, I cared about him a lot even if he didn’t reciprocate my feelings.

After our fight, I had begun to see him in a different light.

Though I still felt a sick attraction toward him, I had to admit the reality of the situation: Neil was a person with a lot of problems; he was extremely hostile to sentiment, and I couldn’t be the only one fighting for something that would probably never exist between us.

Because, unfortunately, he was and always would be unattainable.

I didn’t want to get drawn into his darkness. I didn’t want to change myself or the things I believed in to make him happy. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be, and I needed to accept that.

“So you’re going back to Detroit?” Alyssa sat on my bed wearing a cute yellow dress and tall boots, looking mournful.

I nodded and propped myself up against the desk to watch her.

“But you’ll come back to visit me every now and then, won’t you?” she asked, and I nodded again, though I wasn’t really sure that I would.

A few minutes before, I had called my mother to let her know that after Halloween, in about one week, I would be coming back home. I’d made the decision to tell Matt and Mia later and then I’d sort things out at the university before leaving.

“I need to get back to my old life.”

And that was the truth: I needed to remind myself of who I was, my values, and my principles. I needed to get some perspective and space to clear my head—all things I’d been losing steadily ever since I first met…

“Who said you could come into my room and rifle through my things?” Neil burst angrily into the room, startling both of us. Alyssa jumped to her feet, and I adopted a ready stance. His baritone bounced thunderously off the walls, and his golden eyes cut into me like daggers.

We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since that night in the pool house. Where did he get off bursting in here and acting like this?

“What are you talking about?” I looked him up and down—he loomed so large in that small space—and my heart beat faster.

“Um… I’ll give you some privacy and go see Logan.” Alyssa shot me a furtive look and slipped away, embarrassed. She quailed as she moved past Neil because the walking disaster was in full fury.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he answered after my friend had left, shutting the door behind her.

I swallowed hard and considered my options.

I could tell him that I had indeed gone into his room or I could deny it tooth and nail since he hardly deserved my honesty after what he’d done. But in the end, I opted for the truth.

“You know what? Yes, I went into your room. But just for your information, I don’t care about you anymore!

” I exploded, throwing my arms out in exasperation.

“Run through every blond in the city if you want, but I’ll no longer be an audience for any more nasty performances with those wretched friends you think so highly of!

” I didn’t care that I was screaming or that I sounded like a crazy person; I was tired of being treated badly.

I was tired of his behavior, tired of the Krew, of Jennifer; I was so tired of the blonds that I’d started having bad dreams about them.

“Oh, really? But you do care about sticking your tongue down Luke’s throat. You know he’d love to come back for more, don’t you?” He winked at me before leaning back against the door and crossing his arms over his chest, a posture that made his fit biceps pop.

“I’m going back to Detroit in a week,” I said, watching the arrogant smile slowly slide off his face. He stood frozen in that smug stance, but his eyes grew thoughtful. Doubts and silent questions swirled in the gold of his eyes.

“Because of what you saw with the blond?” he asked me in a tone I could not decipher.

“Because of what you are,” I admitted with a horrified expression.

Neil was imposing, and he was too powerful for a girl to handle. And that’s what I was to him, just a girl.

“In addition to not knowing how to kiss or fuck, you apparently also don’t know shit about shit, Babygirl.” He moved toward me, and in a nanosecond, my hand flew up to slap him, but Neil immediately grabbed my wrist, squeezing it hard.

My arm remained locked in mid-air while his eyes lit up with too many emotions to catalog, though I definitely spotted rage and excitement in there.

“Since when are you so violent?” He mocked me with a smirk that only increased my agitation.

“Fuck you,” I muttered under my breath, and he stared at my lips as though bewitched. If he had tried to kiss me, I would have hit him for real.

“I still have three more limbs; try to kiss me and I’ll castrate you,” I threatened and his grin only got wider, like he found me amusing or had caught me in some lie.

To be perfectly honest, I wanted his sinful mouth on me.

I wanted to taste it and feel his savage tongue that halted my breath.

I wanted to stop clinging to the mere memory of our kisses.

“I’d rather you do something else with my balls…” He leaned closer to my ear and inhaled slowly, making my whole body go rigid. “They’re full again…” he said in a low whisper. I made a face and he pulled away, regarding me warily before shaking his head and finally letting go of my wrist.

“You really are a baby, Tinkerbell.” He looked me from head to toe before going to the door, putting some space between the two of us.

I staggered back until I hit the side of the bed and sat down, staring at my wrist. The delicate white skin there was starting to display red marks from his fingers.

“One week. Just one more week and I’m out of here,” I whispered, though I didn’t know if I was talking to myself or to him.

Neil rested his hand on the doorknob and turned to give me a cautious glance.

“We never talked seriously; you never really honored my compromise…” I kept going, feeling my heart slowly decelerate because now he too knew that this was the end of us.

“You ought to give me something of yourself, something that I can take back to Detroit with me.” Only then did I lift my face to look at him. I felt a familiar warmth spreading throughout my chest and goosebumps sprouted along my arms and legs.

And then Neil left without saying anything, taking his impenetrable silence with him. He hadn’t reacted at all, as though he were completely unmoved by my impending departure.

***

I made my way down to the living room after a while to avoid wallowing in my thoughts. I sat down in one of the armchairs while Alyssa and Logan talked to each other.

“I said you should go.”

As I watched, Alyssa started to gesticulate in a way that made it clear she was trying to convince Logan of something while he just shook his head and told her to stop.

“No, because you won’t be there,” she grumbled, touching his face, but her boyfriend responded with a disappointed look and a huff.

“Halloween’s a big celebration. You should go and take Selene with you.” Logan looked at me, and I gave him an understanding smile, but honestly, I still wasn’t tracking the conversation.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, arching a curious eyebrow.

“About the huge Halloween party Bill O’Brien’s having. He’s rented out this actual mansion for a spooky costume party,” Alyssa answered excitedly.

“And who’s Bill O’Brien?” I asked.

“You don’t know? He’s one of the hottest basketball players on campus,” she answered, like we all had a moral duty to keep tabs on the university’s hot dudes. I shrugged and draped my legs over the arm of the chair.

“Okay. So?”

“So every year, he and the rest of the team throw a big rager that everyone goes to and now Alyssa wants to skip it because of me.” Logan gestured to his leg and his girlfriend sighed, rubbing his arm.

I understood Alyssa perfectly. If my boyfriend had been injured in an accident, I wouldn’t have gone to a party, either. I would much rather have spent Halloween with him.

“I don’t know; it just doesn’t seem right,” she murmured, looking down.

“Bring Selene along with you. It’s her first Halloween here in New York,” Logan suggested, as if I’d never seen a pumpkin before in my life.

“Shall I remind you, Logan, that Halloween is celebrated across the United States of America, including in Detroit?” I muttered archly, and he rolled his eyes. Too late, I realized that he was probably just using me to get Alyssa to agree to go.

“It would be better if you came, Selene,” Alyssa agreed with him, clapping her hands in excitement.

How would I improve the circumstances?

“Not a chance. I don’t like parties.” I gave my head a decisive shake.

“But it’s not just any party—it’s Halloween.

And if you don’t go, I’m not going, either,” Alyssa insisted like a mischievous child, while Logan smiled and gave me his puppy-dog look, which was impossible to ignore.

I glanced back and forth between the pair of them several times before rolling my eyes and giving in.

“Fine,” I huffed.

“It can be your last party before you leave,” Alyssa noted, her expression growing sad. Logan, unaware of my plans, also slowly stopped smiling.

“What?” he asked, and I ducked my head guiltily because I hadn’t yet told the rest of the family about my decision.

“Yeah,” I confirmed, uneasy. “I’m going home. I miss my mom,” I said, though that wasn’t the real reason.