Page 33 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

“Knock it off, Logan,” Neil rebuked him, pouring some wine into his glass.

“Bullshit, Neil,” Logan whispered, trying not to be overheard by his mother, who had gone back to chatting about work with Matt and Jared again. “I don’t like you hanging out with those assholes, and I’ll never get tired of telling you that,” he continued, sounding tense.

Neil just kept drinking his wine, completely uninterested.

Then he looked across the table, first at Jared, then at me.

His gaze warmed me, and like always, I was helpless against it.

I touched my lower lip with one finger, and it seemed like I could still taste him on my tongue.

Neil clocked the movement and watched me, his eyes half-closed in barely concealed lust.

“Oh, how rude!” Mia interrupted suddenly. “Jared, this is my oldest, Neil.”

I blinked, realizing that I had gotten so absorbed in Neil’s arrival that I’d completely forgotten about Jared. I swallowed thickly and shifted in my seat. Neil and Jared, who had been ignoring each other up until that point, locked eyes menacingly, each taking the measure of the other.

“Pleasure to meet you, Neil,” Jared said but Neil didn’t move a muscle. He just stared threateningly at him, and Jared was forced to look away first. Logan sighed and scratched his chin with his thumb, observing his brother’s demeanor.

“So, Jared, what do you do? We haven’t talked about that yet,” Matt cut in to dispel the awkwardness. The air had become way too tense, and I was glad my father was trying to salvage the situation.

“I’m studying journalism in Detroit,” he answered, squeezing my thigh a bit harder.

I didn’t flinch away from that contact, even though I wanted to.

“Interesting,” Logan commented with a grin.

“Yep,” Jared answered, never taking his eyes from the tantalizing devil across the table. “And what do you do, Neil?” he asked, wiping his lips with the napkin and scrutinizing him closely.

“I survive,” was all he said, and an eerie silence fell over us. Mia looked uncomfortable, Matt was frowning, and Logan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Neil’s eyes were heavy with sorrow but also with an incredible strength, the kind that comes from fighting something dark and evil. Something powerful and deeply rooted in his soul.

“Dessert, anyone?” Anna broke in, a dissonant voice that relieved the tension and restored the balance of the gathering.

***

Dinner ended shortly after that.

After dessert, Neil vanished into the garden to lay in the hammock and smoke a cigarette. I wanted to chase after him and make sure he was okay after his evasive response to Jared, but I couldn’t.

“You’re a really great guy, Jared,” Matt said, pulling my attention back to him.

“Thank you, Dr. Anderson. Please know that I care deeply about your daughter and that you can trust me,” Jared answered.

I tried to cast out the miserable feeling in my chest but to no avail. It felt like many tiny needles were pricking my heart, because I knew that I was going to have to put an end to this farce sooner rather than later.

“I have no doubts about that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get ready for bed. I’m quite tired. Don’t stay up too late, kids,” Matt said, heading upstairs with Mia and Logan, who would be going out shortly. And so Jared and I were left alone in the living room.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked him, somewhat anxiously. If I were being honest, I should have been trying to talk to him about all sorts of things, but my bravery came and went intermittently. It was like it was mocking me.

Jared ignored my suggestion and wrapped an arm around my hips to pull me forcefully against him.

“I think it’s time for you to give me a kiss,” he whispered, just a short distance from my lips. His breathing sped up, but not from excitement, rather it was from the difficulty of trying to hold that position for too long.

“Hold your horses. First, I need to show you the guest room, then we can watch a nice movie.”

I bought myself some time by showing him the room where he’d be staying. While I was at it, I also gave him a quick tour of the house. Jared was stunned at the scope of the place.

I was tense, my body rigid the whole time, but talking about other things helped me build up the courage I needed to deal with what was sure to be the worst part of the evening.

When we got back to the living room, I tried to look relaxed as I sat down on the couch.

“So, what genre are you thinking? Horror? Thriller? Crime?” I asked him, still stalling, but Jared didn’t want to waste any more time with talk.

He sat down next to me and took my wrists, leaning into my lips and seeking contact once again.

“I don’t care about the movie; I just want to be with you,” he whispered, before stealing a kiss that I know he would have deepened, had I not abruptly pulled away. He gave me a blank look, cocking his head in confusion.

“We need to talk, Jared,” I said, trying to gather my thoughts. I rubbed the back of my hand over my lips, uncomfortable with the idea that his saliva might supplant the taste of Neil that remained there.

It was always still there, at least in my mind.

“Selene,” Jared sighed wearily. “I’m having a shitty time right now, and you’re the only good thing in my life.

Everything in Detroit has changed since you left.

My father isn’t cutting me a single break with work, my classes are intense, and with Mom fighting cancer, I…

” A shadow fell over his finely drawn features.

His green eyes glistened and his jaw tensed.

Immediately, I felt the urge to comfort him, so I took his face in my hands.

“Hey, hey, everything’s going to be okay,” I whispered gently.

I knew all about his troubles; our bond had been cemented by supporting one another through our most difficult moments.

Jared really was a guy with a huge heart, loving and completely unselfish.

He adored his parents, and the burden of all their troubles often fell on him because he was their only child.

His mother was diagnosed with cancer before we even met.

“I just want to be with you,” he said again, kissing my neck. He hugged me, seeking the comfort that I had never hesitated to give him in previous months. How was I supposed to confess everything to him when he was in such a delicate and vulnerable mental state?

“I’ll make you some hot chocolate,” I told him instead and headed for the kitchen, where I rummaged around for a saucepan.

When I found one, I got out the hot chocolate mix and grabbed some milk from the fridge.

I poured everything into the pot and started heating it.

I needed to figure out the most opportune moment to talk to Jared and—

“Did you tell him yet?” asked an unmistakable baritone behind me. I spun around fearfully and found Neil leaning one shoulder on the doorframe, looking beautiful as ever. He was breathtaking.

“That’s my business,” I snapped shortly.

And why did he care? In the end, what happened between the two of us was meaningless, and I was acutely aware of that fact.

He scrutinized me and I felt myself withering under that golden gaze—sometimes so bright, sometimes so shadowed.

“Don’t fall for your boyfriend’s whining; it could be a tactic to keep you under his thumb. You really want your freedom? Then go in there and take it.” He moved closer, and I gave him a surprised look. Apparently he’d been listening to us. But if he had, how could he be so cynical about it?

“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do!” I raised my voice and Neil groaned, closing his eyes.

I frowned, confused and dismayed by his reaction.

A second later, he opened his eyes back up, and I watched him approach me slowly like a large, deadly cat.

I backed away, fully aware that there was nowhere to go.

“Say it again,” he whispered, looming over me with his Adonis body. I stared at him and soaked in his pleasant amber aroma. His hair was still a little damp, probably from one of his countless daily showers.

“W… What?” I stammered, my butt bumping into the counter behind me.

“Fuck,” he breathed, warm air hitting my face.

“I really like the way that word slides off your lips,” he added wickedly, locking eyes with me.

“Wanna know what I’m thinking about?” He closed the distance between us and put his hands on either side of my body, pressing his chest against my breasts and pushing the air out of my lungs.

I could feel the hard outline of every one of his muscles as though fused to my skin.

“No,” I murmured in a daze. I didn’t know whether it was his voice, his body, or his stare that rendered me so helpless. He nuzzled my cheek with the tip of his nose and breathed in my scent appreciatively.

“I’m thinking about how much I’d like to take you right here in this kitchen with your boyfriend sitting a few feet away from us.

About you grinding your hips underneath me while I enjoy a nice, hard…

” He stopped next to my ear and smiled. “Fuck,” he said again slowly, as though trying to lodge the word firmly in my brain.

I gasped and trembled.

I closed my eyes, imagining my body, delirious with lust under Neil’s hands.

I quite tried to tamp down those profane thoughts, but Neil grabbed the back of my neck and rubbed my lower lip with his thumb.

His hand was big and strong; the pad of his thumb felt cold against my overheated skin.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw his own blazing eyes locked on my mouth.

I needed to get back to Jared and quickly.

“Neil,” I pleaded softly, trying to create some space between us.

I stepped to the side and turned to finish making the hot chocolate.

I tried to take slow breaths and calm my furiously pounding heart.

I stood up on my tiptoes in an effort to reach the mugs arranged on a high shelf until Neil reached out and effortlessly grabbed them for me, setting them down on the counter.

I thanked him softly, staring at my trembling hands.

I had reached such a fever pitch of anxiety that I was completely thrown off-balance.

“Selene, is everything okay?” Jared inquired.

He had joined us in the kitchen. Neil retreated, if only just a bit and remained as austere and unmoved as ever. Jared’s face grew guarded, and he watched me with concern.

“Yeah, I was just asking Neil where the mugs were.” I pointed up to them and smiled at Jared before pouring the hot chocolate, being very careful not to make a mess with my shaking hands.

“Do you need any help?” he asked, but I quickly shook my head.

“No, I’ll be with you in just a minute.” I gave him a reassuring smile and Jared nodded, leaving the kitchen. Though not before throwing one last distrustful look in Neil’s direction. I couldn’t blame him: Neil was not the type to inspire trust in either women or men.

I touched my forehead; I had broken out into a cold sweat.

Neil then approached me cautiously and put his hand on my neck, right in the exact spot Jared had been kissing just a few minutes before on the sofa.

He rubbed my skin slowly, possibly intending to calm me down, but all he did was cause a blaze of heat in the middle of my chest.

“Wait for me tonight in your room…” he said in a lewd whisper before pressing a gentle kiss to the skin right below my earlobe.

My body’s reaction was instantaneous and in sharp contrast to the way I’d reacted to contact with Jared. Goosebumps erupted on my skin and warm flood of liquid soaked my panties, forcing me to clamp my legs together.

After completely devastating me, he left and I was finally alone and could breathe again. I grabbed the two steaming mugs and went back to the living room and to Jared, where I apologized for the long wait.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked as I settled down next to him, cupping the warm mug in my hands. I could still feel that uncomfortable wet sensation between my legs and my body was tense and shaky. Goddammit! Why did Neil have such power over me?

After we finished our hot chocolate, Jared and I watched a movie—I didn’t understand a single thing about it.

My mind was far away. Still, from time to time, I would nod or pretend I’d been listening to Jared’s comments on certain scenes, which flashed before my eyes without actually registering in my brain.

Despite my confused state, when Jared put his arm around my shoulders, I leaned into his chest and allowed myself to be lulled into sleepiness.

Jared stroked my hair, which tumbled freely down my back, and I just lay there, enjoying his touch even as I knew, deep down, that my continued silence was wrong.

I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the guilty tears that threatened to fall.

Jared kissed my temple, then, unexpectedly, he tilted my chin up with his index finger and brought his lips to mine.

Ours was a gentle, sweet kiss, so different from the ones that Neil was making me accustomed to.

Our kiss tasted of concealed tears, concealed goodbyes, of unforgivable mistakes, and also of a profound fondness that I now understood would never become love.

I kissed him back but only because I didn’t want to make him suspicious.

“I love you,” he whispered, and I, as though compelled by some dark force, slowly moved my gaze to the stairs where a shadowy figure was observing us from the upper floor.

Neil stood there, his elbows propped up on the railing and his long legs stretched out behind him. His broad shoulders were tensed, as though he had the weight of the entire world on them. I couldn’t see the brightness of his eyes but I knew that he was watching us.

“Wait for me tonight in your room…” It seemed that I could hear those words again on the air. Or maybe it was just the echo of my own desire, the need I had to kiss him, touch, and possess him.

Still.