Page 43 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)
But I wasn’t going to give up that easily, so I followed him to his room.
He tried to close the door in my face, but I was faster and blocked it with both hands, managing to squeeze inside.
Neil examined me again, this time looking frightened.
He was like a wild animal, certain he was about to be captured and crammed into a cage, but that wasn’t my intention.
Instead, I wanted to free him from the cage he’d locked himself inside.
“Get out!” He shooed me away, but I paid him no mind and shut the door behind me instead. There was no one else in the house except for Anna, who could probably hear us shouting.
“Calm down.” I adjusted my approach, trying to be understanding and placid.
Neil went to the bedside table and retrieved a cigarette from the pack of Winstons lying there. He lit one rapidly, like he’d die if didn’t immediately inhale the disgusting thing, and took a deep drag before releasing the smoke into the air. I stayed right where I was, studying his every movement.
A few moments later, he went to the window and threw it open, leaning one shoulder against the wall next to it. Standing there, barely illuminated by the colors of the dying sunset, he looked like a demon for real, ready to feed on me and then spit out my empty husk.
His breathing got more regular as his drags on the cigarette increased, the nicotine having a tranquilizing effect on him.
I glanced around the black and cobalt-blue room, trying not stress him out more.
With his watchful eyes on me, I took shaky steps forward until I could sit down on the edge of his bed, hands resting on my thighs.
“I know you overheard everything,” he said suddenly, regarding me with such intensity that I was immediately cowed.
At first, I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but then I realized he was referring to his interaction with the police officers.
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “Officer Scott knows you…” I would have given him anything just so long as he kept talking to me, so long as he opened up just a little bit.
Neil sighed and took another drag from his cigarette. He was handsome, despite his drawn appearance. So handsome that it made me feel inadequate, not desirable enough for someone like him. He was so perfect, even if he was a mess on the inside.
“Talk to me,” I insisted in a gentle voice.
Neil was introverted and wary of others, that much was clear to me by then.
He was very reserved, especially when it came to anything about him or his past. It was a paradox: he was so comfortable exposing his body but never his soul.
Maybe it was fear that held him back or a desire to hide his weaknesses or maybe he just wanted to hide himself from the world?
I decided that I was going to gently pick my way through the chaos inside him. I would be respectful; I would show him that human beings could also be good and loving.
“When I was fourteen, I got into a bad situation. Fell in with a bad crowd, partying, overindulging in all kinds of shit…” He ground out the cigarette in an ashtray and fixed his honey-colored eyes on me.
I gulped when he narrowed his eyes, staring at me through his long lashes.
He was concentrating hard, and a small furrow formed in the middle of his forehead, giving him a glowering yet appealing expression.
“The fighting was what fucked me up. I’ve always had problems dealing with my anger, and I’ve been reported for it plenty of times.
I’ve made a lot of enemies, and I’m not a safe guy to be around.
Not even for you…” He said it coldly, maybe with the intention of pushing me away.
But what was the point of scaring me off when, in the end, he always came looking for me?
He had been the one, every time, to come knocking at my door.
“Why was that specific officer so angry at you?”
“Because I fucked up. I’ve fucked up a lot. I don’t want to talk about this, Selene. Don’t ask me any more questions.” He walked toward me with a determined stride and grasped my arm. I sucked in a breath when he bent down to look into my eyes.
“You’ve told me so little,” I whispered in disappointment. In that moment, I noticed the tiny amber streaks in the luminous sandy color of his eyes. I could have drowned in those eyes, and it would have been worth losing myself.
“I’ve told you enough.” He tried to kiss me, but I turned my face away.
I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.
I wanted to kiss him, but first I needed him to actually accept my conditions, even if I had managed to get something out of him this time.
I tried to hold out, but the arm he had in his grasp began to tremble, as did the rest of my body.
I didn’t know if the trembling was from excitement at being so close to him or fear of his unpredictability.
His bare chest made me want to touch him, to run my fingers and then my tongue along the spaces between his muscles.
But instead I pulled my arm free and moved away from him.
I needed to escape the creature that I was becoming; the one I always became when he touched me.
Perhaps somewhere deep down inside, I was simply afraid of myself and of what I was feeling.
But Neil recaptured me before I even got to the door. He took me by the hips and pulled me forcefully back against him. It was a gesture so possessive that I knew immediately I was trapped, and he wasn’t going to release me until he’d taken what he wanted.
“Now it’s my turn to get something from you,” he whispered into my ear.
“You’ve already taken the most important thing…” I admitted, thinking of my virginity. Saying it aloud made me surrender to him. I let my shoulders relax and gave myself over to him, letting him do whatever he wanted.
“I want everything.” He brushed my hair aside with one hand, speaking slowly and sensually to me. “Everything, Selene.” He leaned into me slightly, and I could feel his erection pressing against the cleft of my ass.
I gasped, but his hands moved to my hips, holding me still.
“Everything,” I repeated like a robot. My voice cracked and my self-control was evaporating.
“You like feeling me, don’t you?” He caressed my stomach with his fingers, and I could feel a trail of fire where his hand had touched me. That hand slowly drifted downward, and I shut my eyes, trying to keep breathing.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I lied and he made a guttural sound, like a repressed laugh. His hand slipped down even further until it got to the button of my pants.
“Then I’ll show you, Babygirl.” He undid the buttons and slipped his hand beneath the fabric, rubbing my sex through the cotton of my panties. I held my breath as I felt the fabric slowly dampening until it clung to my labia, which had been electrified by his touch.
How many others had he pleasured just like this?
“Neil…” I grabbed his wrist, intending to stop him, but when he found the exact rhythm that I needed, I couldn’t resist.
I was soaked, and he, giant bastard that he was, just kept gliding his index finger from the top of my slit to the bottom, getting me even more ready to take him.
“Just remember one thing, Selene: women don’t fuck me; I fuck women.
” He continued his teasing game, this time underneath my panties.
I sucked in a breath when I felt cold fingertips on my sex, which felt like it was on fire.
I stopped breathing entirely when Neil gathered up my juices and used them to wet my clitoris, teasing it slowly and delicately as if his hands had been designed to do just that.
“Let go.” He nibbled my earlobe, and I let my head fall back on his shoulder. Oddly enough, I felt protected in that moment; encased in his powerful arms was the only place I wanted to be. I arched my back and let out a moan as my hips began to chase his movements.
Neil, however, quit moving his fingers too soon, making me groan in irritation.
Then he grinned and started touching me again, gliding from bottom to top in a cycle of infinite lust and torture.
I bit my lip and yearned to have him inside me, but he just kept playing ruthlessly with me, never allowing me true satisfaction.
After a while, his caresses, alternating between vertical and circular motion, caused a tidal wave of overwhelming sensations. I felt my knees buckle, so I leaned against him and reached up behind his neck until I could grab his wild hair.
We stood there, locked together in our lust, unable to resist our impulses.
He, however, managed to remain standing behind me, his right hand between my legs and his left cupping my breast. I wanted to have my revenge and torment him like he did me, but unfortunately, we weren’t positioned to equal advantage.
So I decided to rub my ass against his hard-on, feeling his whole body stiffen as I did so.
“Are you trying to turn me on, Babygirl?” He grinned into the crook of my neck, and I continued to gently grind my pelvis against him.
“Exactly like you did to me,” I managed, out of breath. I would have died if he didn’t keep stimulating me just as he was. He knew far too well which parts of me to touch; he’d found the rhythm that my body liked the most as easily, as if he’d known it his whole life.
“Actually, I haven’t even started yet,” he whispered in a deliberately velvet tone.
This thing of ours suddenly seemed more like a war, a genuine battle to the death.
Neil kissed my neck, then sucked and licked it. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get a handle on the moans that were vibrating in my chest. I continued to rub my ass on him, trying to make him give in, admit defeat, but Neil was determined to win. He wanted to dominate me, to overpower me.
“You keep that up and I’m going to fuck you against this door,” he murmured menacingly, his breath coming in pants. Then he pushed a finger inside me, finding me a yielding, liquid mess.
He rubbed me with a practiced control and a meticulous attention to detail.
I lost myself against the marble of his body and soaked up the pleasure that, thus far, only he had ever been able to give me.
The knowledge that he had been the first enhanced the feeling that I’d had for some time by then—the feeling that I belonged to him totally.
His breath tickled my neck as I turned my face toward him, meeting his gaze.
He was too tall, I never would have reached his lips by myself so I stared intensely at him until he could read my every desire in my face.
Then, I lifted myself up on my tiptoes and Neil immediately realized what I was doing.
He bent to kiss me, and it was magnificent.
He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and when his tongue touched mine, an intense heat roared through my middle, all the way up to my nipples. I savored it passionately and he responded with the same intensity. Both of us were starving. Longing for that connection between one another.
I pressed my back harder into him and ground my hips against his hand.
The burning strokes of his tongue began to mimic the rhythm of his fingers.
I panted against his mouth, our scents mingling.
I would let him cross any boundary, take everything from me.
I was shaking and my cheeks were flushed.
Neil didn’t stop kissing me; it was obvious that he couldn’t stop himself anymore, just as I couldn’t.
In that moment, I decided that I would never let another man touch me like that.
I felt like his .
The more I kissed him, the more his fingers took ownership of me, grasping like they wanted to reach my very heart. I moaned and he grinned proudly, devouring my lips until they ached.
And that’s when I came.
I came on his hand.
I came in a prolonged climax. I came again, then again, maybe three times. It was slow and devastating each time.
The physical exhaustion that followed was so intense that it had me swaying on my feet for a few seconds. Then, as though I’d just woken from a dream, I twisted in his arms and broke away from him. I needed to clear my head, so I rested my back against the door and tried to catch my breath.
I felt exhausted but sated.
“You know what; I just had a romantic thought,” he whispered impishly as I stared into his eyes, enthralled.
“What’s that?” I asked, brushing two strands of hair off his forehead.
Neil brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time.
When I caught the smell of my own release, sweet and pungent, I blushed.
At the same time, the fact that he seemed to be savoring my taste was flattering.
“I was thinking how nice it would be to taste this straight from the source.” He rested his hand next to my head on the doorframe and loomed over me, all six feet, three inches of him. He searched my face, a spark of amusement mingled with his lust, and I blushed even harder.
“You are a rare sort of romantic, it seems,” I commented sarcastically. And he was a rare sort of beauty as well. A singular beauty.
“Oh yeah, I’m a real romantic,” he corrected me with an ironic twist to his mouth, making me smile in return. Then he pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. Finally we had forged a completely new understanding.
Or, at least, that’s what I thought…