Page 12 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

“Are you afraid of me?” I asked, picking the container of body lotion she’d left on the table next to her and raising it to my nose.

“Mmm…coconut,” I murmured, taking in the pleasing fragrance.

She snatched the lotion away from me with an agitated look.

Apparently, Tigress didn’t like people touching her things.

So, I decided to get in her space, push her boundaries a bit just to test her.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she declared and then lay back down, pretending to ignore me, but I could feel her agitation. I could sniff out her desire the way any animal sniffs out its dinner.

“You should be,” I answered. I lay down, propping myself up on my elbow and leaning my chin on the palm of my hand. I could feel her stare burning into me.

“Fear can be an ally, if you know how to handle it,” she answered firmly and gave me a cunning look. Nothing turned me on more than a woman with a killer body and a beguiling mind.

“And do you, Selene? Know how to handle it?” I sat back, resting my elbows on my bent knees.

I looked her up and down, from her glistening lips to her long, slim legs—the ones I yearned to feel clasped around my hips.

She was so small; it would have been effortless to overpower her and the idea… it excited me.

And she seemed to understand exactly what I was thinking because she went red.

“Stop looking at me that way!” she snapped at me.

I almost came when I heard the low, apprehensive sound of her voice.

It was breathy, like she’d been running fruitlessly for hours in a maze.

She sat up and hunched her thin shoulders as if trying to protect herself.

From me? Hadn’t she just implied she knew how to handle her fears?

“You have to… You have to stay away from me, Neil.” She got up in a rush and leaped into the pool to escape me. Where did she think she was going? This was my territory. She was in the wolf’s den now, and the wolf certainly wasn’t going to spare her.

With a shameless grin, I got up off the chaise and undressed. I pulled off my pants and was left in just my black Calvin Klein boxers. I considered taking those off as well and joining her naked, but I didn’t want to push it too far. At that point, she still only suspected that I was a pervert.

I followed her, slowly immersing myself in the warm, crystal clear water. The two blue gems that were her eyes followed my every feline movement. I gave her a smile that communicated every one of my bad intentions and swam elegantly toward her.

I stopped a short distance from where she was now pressed against the wall of the pool, and I took a moment to admire her. If I’d gotten any closer to her, I wouldn’t have been able to restrain myself.

“Face your fears, Selene.” I stared—first at her eyes and then at her lips.

Finally, when she didn’t retreat, I closed the distance between us once more.

I touched her hip, and she jolted. I smiled at her reaction, but I didn’t stop.

My hand just glanced over her bikini bottoms, and I tried to stroke her between her thighs, but Selene clamped them together tightly to keep me from going any further.

“You shouldn’t…” Her voice shook, tears of resignation clung to her eyelashes. I could have stopped then and apologized for my behavior, but I wanted her. Craved her. Demanded her. I was a profoundly selfish person; I always had been and now I needed to have her.

“Push me away,” I challenged, and she lifted her tiny hands to put them against my chest. She applied light pressure, and I saw the way her pupils dilated at even that small contact.

“That’s it?” I said mockingly. But the Tigress had begun to tremble, possibly from excitement, fear of giving into me, or simply the awareness of her own desire blooming to life inside her.

I gave her a satisfied smile, because I knew that she had lost her capacity to reason.

I was well aware that she had a boyfriend in Detroit, but I didn’t care.

I wanted her and that was enough for me.

That was how I survived, after all. I attacked a woman’s mind; I ferreted out the things she craved, then I sated myself with her body. In that way, I was able to cling to the slim thread keeping me tied to this life.

I pressed closer and tilted my head slightly until our lips touched.

Hers fell open, demonstrating her willingness to taste me.

I brushed her lower lip with mine; hers was smooth and soft.

Selene narrowed her eyes as though locked in an internal battle between right and wrong.

My vote was for wrong, as always, but I knew she didn’t entirely agree with me.

I grasped her hips and toyed with the ties on her swimsuit, ignoring her discomfort.

I demanded more; my body was trembling with the need for greater contact, so I pressed my hips into her and closed my eyes, savoring the connection between us.

I pressed my nose to the place beneath her ear and I imagined I could feel the beating of her heart and smell her arousal mixed with the scent of chlorine.

Her hands rested on my shoulders and her breasts were plastered against my front.

Her stiffened nipples poked into my chest, and I had to stifle the urge to lean down and take them between my teeth. We stared into each other’s eyes.

This was my favorite part: the moment before a kiss. When hearts are frenzied, minds are turned off, everything is waiting with bated breath. I brushed her soft cheek with the tip of my nose before reaching her mouth, the gates of paradise.

Would she let a poor devil like me in?

I licked the curve of her mouth and tried to kiss her.

Initially, I found a barrier of clenched teeth and struggled to get a response.

But I courted one slyly, moving my tongue slowly until the moment when she was inevitably forced to give in to damnation.

After a few seconds, her lips parted like the petals of a flower, finally giving me access.

She kissed me back, and from the uncertain way she followed my movements, I could tell just how inexperienced she was. How far had she gone with other men?

I was used to women who were fully capable of exciting, seducing, and satisfying a man. Women who were confident in themselves, charmers who were good in bed. They were well-practiced at kissing, fucking, and fulfilling even the most depraved male fantasies.

I liked this contrast between us.

I adored the shy, dainty way this girl moved her tongue, the prim way she tried to hold back her moans, and the subtle way she tried to push our bodies apart at the most sinful, yet natural, point of union that there could be between us.

Between a man and woman. I felt no awkwardness or bashfulness about letting her feel how aroused I was and how my body reacted to the feeling of her mouth.

I pushed my erection between her thighs and heard her gasping and trying to move away from me, to no avail.

I held her still, squeezing her hips and continued to kiss her the way I wanted to fuck her.

I wanted to do it right there, in the middle of the pool, in broad daylight, and that was absolutely no good. I had to stop, or it was going to be another one of my typical fuckups. I backed away and allowed her to gulp down some air before resting my forehead against hers.

“Now, you can say you’ve faced your fears,” I whispered.

Selene’s breathing was labored, and she seemed dazed, possibly incredulous.

She stared at me, absolutely mortified by her reaction to my attack.

She touched her lips with her index finger and gulped, as if trying to understand what had just happened to her.

It was at that moment that I realized the kind of truly selfish bastard I was, taking this piece of her.

I wished she would hurl insults or slap me. I wished she’d do anything, so long as she didn’t blame herself for following her instincts over her reason.

“Now I can say that I’ve basically cheated on Jared,” she said in a deeply harsh tone, but her eyes were glittering with a new light. Selene was finally conscious of the attraction that linked us, and this knowledge sent her spinning.

She jumped out of the pool and ran her hands through her hair in confusion. “I’m still in a relationship! I still have a…a…someone!” she screamed furiously. An instant later, she was in tears. Then she snatched up a towel to shield herself from my eyes, which ran longingly over her curves.

Those were the effects I had on people: confusion, dismay, guilt, lust, rage, and disappointment. I had brought nothing but evil to the people around me, and Selene would be just another one of my victims.

“So, we’ll make sure he doesn’t find out,” I answered cynically, but that only made the situation worse. Selene knew perfectly well that I didn’t care about whatever relationship she had, just that I had her, if only for a few minutes. She looked at me in disgust before fleeing.

I could understand her reaction. I kissed women to torment them—a kiss from me was simply a prelude to more carnal sins. It created desire; it was ardor and vice.

I got out of the pool and dried myself off hastily with one of the many towels we had around before peeling off my wet boxers and getting dressed.

I took the stairs back to my bedroom to grab a sweatshirt and the pack of cigarettes I’d use to explain my absence to Logan.

When I returned downstairs and found out that my mother had instructed Anna to set up the table under the gazebo in the garden.

We were taking advantage of the sunny autumn day and having lunch outside.

I joined my family in the garden, feeling blissful as the crisp breeze fluttered my damp hair. I took the only available seat, right next to Selene.

Fate was not on her side.

I looked at her and paused to analyze every bit of her. She had pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and was wearing her usual jeans, along with a light T-shirt that clung to her small breasts.

Suddenly, despite my empty stomach, I could only feel hunger for her.

I sighed and tried to get myself under control.

If I got a hard-on, it would be difficult to conceal, as I wasn’t wearing boxers anymore.

Selene, for her part, tried in vain to ignore me.

She drummed her fingers nervously on her thighs, and instinctively, I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it.

“What do you want?” she whispered furiously, trying to pull away from my grasp.

“Don’t be mad,” I answered tonelessly.

It wasn’t like she’d committed murder. She’d just gotten a little more proof that no one could win against powerful physical attraction.

“Easy for you to say.” She freed herself from my grip and pointedly turned her attention to my mother and siblings for the rest of lunch.

I should have regretted what we’d just done, but I didn’t. For me, it had become a game. A game of strategy that I had to win at all costs. It was a bet I was making, between me and life itself.

Selene didn’t yet know just how profoundly I deviated from the norm, and she never would have understood.

Suddenly, Chloe’s voice saying that idiot Carter’s name, shook me out of my twisted thoughts.

“Have I mentioned that I hate that guy?” Logan hissed through gritted teeth, and I found myself in perfect agreement with him.

Carter Nelson, Bryan’s younger brother, was neither a trustworthy nor respectful boy, contrary to what Chloe believed.

I knew him, and he didn’t have a good reputation.

He treated women like playthings, and I didn’t understand how Chloe could talk about him like he was Prince Charming straight out of some fucking fairy tale.

“Our little sister is too blinded by the illusion of love to see what an asshole he is,” I blurted out, never considering her feelings. I was used to saying whatever I thought and wasn’t about to start holding back then.

“What? Do you think he’s like you?” she challenged me. Yes, I did think that. Carter was like me. Although I didn’t have room to judge his attitude toward women in general, I did have a right to protect my little sister from guys like him. Guys like me.

“We’re your brothers; we just want you to be careful,” Logan cut in, but Chloe had inherited all the same bullheaded obstinacy that I had. It was no coincidence that we argued constantly.

“You’re a deluded kid who understands fuck all about real life,” I added testily.

Losing control like that was easily one of my worst flaws.

I reacted instinctively, often insensitively.

I realized much too late how my words might have landed for a young girl still not fully capable of identifying the dangers around her.

Chloe threw her cutlery furiously onto her plate. “Because you understand anything about life? Do some self-reflection. You don’t even know what it means to love another person. Do you think it’s right? Sleeping with all these women and lying to them like you did with Scarlett?”

My reaction was instantaneous: I was suffocating.

Scarlett was a difficult chapter in my history.

I hated talking about her; I hated remembering her, and I hated even hearing her name.

I stood up so furiously that my chair tumbled to the floor.

My mother shot me a pleading look, begging me not to make one of my typical scenes.

The ones to which my family had now become so accustomed.

My family, yes. But not Selene.

I met her crystalline stare and saw fear and confusion there, the same feelings I inspired in anyone who met my grimy little world. Anyone in my vicinity had to deal with it: what I was, what had happened to me, and what it had made me into.

For a fleeting moment, I regretted kissing her. I shouldn’t have drawn her into my problems, no matter how much I liked the sweet taste of her on my tongue. And so began the eternal struggle within me that would only ever tear me up even more.

I was anxious. I felt like breaking something, the way I always did when my higher intellect went out the window and gave way to the other side of me—the hair-trigger, intractable side. I stepped back from the table and did what I did best: I hid away from the world.

I talked instead to the monsters that lived inside my head. Sometimes, I thought they were the only ones who could understand me. I relived the past in search of the Boy I had been, and when I found him, I fought him. I loathed him, I tried to block him out, but I always emerged defeated.

The Boy remained. He lived inside me. He was in the innermost chamber of my soul, and he was never, ever going to leave.