Page 10 of Let the Game Begin (Kiss Me Like You Love Me #1)

Selene

I often found myself alone among people, locked in a world of my own. A world where I felt safe and could truly be myself. A world where I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. I firmly believed that solitude was the key to discovering and understanding ourselves.

“The man who is unable to people his solitude is equally unable to be alone in a bustling crowd.” I read aloud this passage from a poem by Charles Baudelaire, one of those books I always kept on me in those days so I could escape into a reality other than my own.

I loved to read; I would have devoured books all day long if I had the time.

“What?” Logan raised an eyebrow and gave me a confused look.

“Uh…nothing. I was just reading out loud.” I showed him the book that had completely captured my attention.

“Selene, you haven’t been listening to anything we’ve said, have you?” Alyssa asked.

“Nope,” I shrugged and continued reading, laying the book open in my lap. We were all off campus, taking a break from classes, and in my case, the world entirely.

“Are you going to Bryan Nelson’s party this weekend?” Adam asked me.

“Nah, Adam, I’m not feeling it,” I said without looking up at him.

I really didn’t feel like spending my free time surrounded by sweaty bodies, deafening music, and a veritable river of alcohol.

“It’ll be fun. Bryan always throws bomb-ass parties,” Corey wheedled. I looked at him, squinting slightly against the sun and shook my head. He snorted and I smiled.

“You have to come!” Julie batted her eyelashes sweetly and pleaded with her most angelic face, but I just rolled my eyes and ignored her.

“Yeah, sis, you’re coming with us whether you like it or not,” Logan chuckled.

“I’ll come, but only if you stop calling me that,” I retorted.

“Okay, it’s a deal, sis,” he answered, and I gave him an admonishing glare. “Starting now,” I specified. Logan only smiled and didn’t say anything else.

I’d been living in New York for a week at that point, so Logan was getting familiar with me.

With Neil, however, it was a very different story: we had yet to have a normal conversation.

Instead, he only directed suggestive jokes and sly smiles at me while he wandered half-naked around the house.

I’d started sleeping with earplugs in because of the sheer number of girls he brought home.

Jennifer, apparently, didn’t have that locked down.

But I was trying not to think about Neil; I needed to mind my own business instead.

After some more small talk with the group, Logan and I got into his car and headed for the house. “So, Jared goes to school in Detroit, right?” he asked during the ride.

“That’s right,” I answered, staring out the window at the buildings passing rapidly by.

“And how long have you guys been together?” he continued.

“Okay, Dad, what’s with the third degree?” I teased, even though I didn’t mind answering his questions.

“Just curious.” He shrugged, keeping both hands firmly on the wheel.

“About three months,” I told him. Strangely, I didn’t feel any discomfort talking about myself or my life in Detroit when it was with Logan. “And how about you? Do you have a girlfriend?” I added, hoping I didn’t sound too nosy.

“You mean like a steady girlfriend or…” Logan gave me a suggestive look and I grinned.

“No, I don’t think you’re like your brother,” I said immediately.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I have an active sex life, too,” he teased, and I gave him a light nudge.

“Come on, dummy.” I shook my head and thought about how lovely and natural it was, laughing and joking with Logan as though we’d known each other for years.

“I am happily single, for the moment. I’ve only had one significant relationship, and that was a while ago.” He grew serious again. “Her name was Amber. I met her during basketball practice; she played on the women’s team,” he explained, his voice getting melancholy.

“And how did it end with you two?” I asked before I’d really thought about what I was saying.

“She cheated on me with some guy at a party,” he answered casually, shrugging one shoulder as if it didn’t really matter. I bit my lip and tried to cheer him up anyway.

“Then she didn’t deserve you. You’re a great guy, Logan. You’ll find someone better,” I told him with conviction.

“I’ve always thought the same thing,” he said, with admirable self-confidence. Logan was a together guy and aware of his value. Whatever misery his ex had caused him, he seemed to have overcome it and come out stronger than before.

“Do you still play basketball?” I asked, mostly to change the subject. With his height, he probably could have been a pro player.

“I quit. I decided to focus completely on school.” He smiled and kept driving, occasionally reaching to touch his hair. Some of his mannerisms were identical to Neil’s, and it niggled at me. But I tried not pay attention to the feeling.

We kept talking, but I carefully avoided any further questions about Amber.

Instead, we talked about his basketball career, how his passion for the sport was born, and how many years he’d played.

I discovered that Logan had other hobbies besides sports: he also played the guitar and collected antique coins.

He promised he would show me his collection someday.

When we got home, I went right to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge.

I was just about to drink it when someone snatched it roughly away from me.

I scowled, my arm still poised in mid-air and looked up to see Neil in his sweatpants, soaked in sweat, hanging on to the neck of what had been, up until a few seconds before, my water bottle.

I watched the muscles in his arm contract, tank top clinging to his gleaming, muscular chest. Black sweatpants hugged his long, toned legs, and his hair was even more disheveled than usual. It looked good on him, too.

I was starting to think that Neil was the one guy in the world who always looked good, even immediately after a workout.

“Hey!” I cried as he continued to drink from the bottle while staring at me from under his long eyelashes.

“I was thirsty,” he answered. He shrugged and wiped the back of his hand over his lush mouth. I couldn’t help but stare in fascination.

“That was my bottle,” I snapped back irritably, despite the way his eyes cut into me like daggers.

“Sure, but I wanted… yours ,” he whispered playfully.

Our bodies were very close to each other. I could feel my breath speed up and my heart beating faster. I couldn’t figure it out… Why does he have this effect on me? Why does his mere presence send me reeling?

“Why weren’t you on campus today?” I tried changing the subject to recover a bit of my equilibrium. I put some more distance between us and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I didn’t want to be there.” His tone abruptly changed. He no longer seemed mischievous or amused but altogether absent, even annoyed. I took a step back from this coldness and looked at him uneasily.

“Why?” I realized that this was perhaps the first truly normal conversation the two of us had ever had. Neil was really quite reserved, and I began to suspect that a lot of his arrogance was a mask he used to hide from the world.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” he answered stiffly. He heaved a sigh and then scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, as if to shake off some disturbing feeling that was eating away at him.

Since I had no idea how to reply to that statement, and he didn’t seem like he had anything to add, I started to leave. Then, he spoke again and stopped me in my tracks.

“Martin Luther King Jr. argued that darkness could not drive out darkness; only light could do it and that hate could not drive out hate, only love could do it. Hate multiplies hate and creates a destructive downward spiral.”

I turned and found him staring into space, his golden eyes lost in dark thoughts.

He looked down at himself as though venomous spiders were crawling across his skin.

I stood there, just staring at him, trying desperately to understand what he was trying to communicate, but Logan’s voice cut in, shattering the moment.

“Hey, you two, what’s going on?” Logan walked into the kitchen, eyeing his brother and me, both of us frozen like statues.

“Nothing,” I answered quickly. Neil, by contrast, remained motionless with his jaw clenched in a grim expression. Slowly, his eyes moved over to Logan who, unlike me, seemed to understand where his brother’s thoughts were.

After a long, tense moment, Logan cleared his throat and distracted us with conversation about that weekend’s party, which I had forgotten about entirely.

He told me that he was driving, but only if I got my butt in gear by nine.

I threw one last unsettled look at Neil, and after reluctantly confirming that I would go to the party, I said my goodbyes to the brothers and fled to my room.

I spent the entire time studying and brooding over Neil’s strangeness.

I probably shouldn’t have even been worrying about it.

My stay in New York was temporary, and I would soon be saying goodbye to everyone here and going back to my mother in Detroit.

Neil was only ever going to be a slim chapter in my life, and I didn’t need to care about his stupid mood swings.