Page 94 of Knot So Damaged

Even though I know he can smell just how much I need him, he doesn’t pay it any mind lifting me from the nest. I wrap my arms and legs around him as I blindly let him carry me. I turn my head as he opens the door of the bathroom. He doesn’t let me go whileturns the shower on and waits for it to heat up before stepping into the spray.

I groan, earning myself a chuckle from Vic as the hot water crashes down over my body.

“We tried for days to get you to come in here and wash. You refused so we had to settle for a very protested against bird bath. You didn’t want us to wash off the smell of us on your skin.”

“Oh god,” I mutter and wedge myself into his chest. I let him wash me as I hide in shame. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help but feel embarrassed.

The Andrews pack loved to tease me endlessly about how desperate I was for their knots during my heat. It always came with name calling and tears.

But as Vic tells me about my heat and clearing up the blurry moments, there is none of that shame I had once felt. It's the complete opposite. Vic clearly finds my actions to be sexy—his words, not mine.

It's strange, being boasted about in this way after being used to something so much different.

It helps me to see that maybe Vic isn’t like the other Alphas. That maybe his anger was a momentary thing.

Because Scott, Matt, Jason and Trey never tended to me through my heats.

I would come out of the blur starving, dehydrated and covered in various substances. Bruises and bite marks would cover my skin for weeks before they eventually healed.

My last heat was the only time they gave me any kind of care.

It was only because they almost succeeded in killing me.

I shake myself out of my thoughts about my previous pack and think about my current pack.

Shit, when did I start referring to them as mine?

Because after this heat, I know that I could never refer to them as anything but. Conall, Olis and even Vic proved to me that I am safe. That even when my mind isn’t my own, they will still honor my wishes.

Not only that, but they are amazing with Amity. They make my little girl happy, spoiling her with love from a male figure that I have always wanted for her. True father figures.

I don’t have to do a thorough inspection of my body to know that they didn’t claim me. I know that couldn’t have been easy. There is no doubt in my mind that I would have begged for them relentlessly.

Yet, they resisted even against their own bodies' desires.

Because they care for me. They respect me.

It's a gift from an Alpha I never thought I would be entitled to, or ever see.

Even though they didn’t give me their bites during my heat, I know it's not something that is permanently off the table, even without talking to them directly.

They have left it to be my choice. One I am able to make when I am of sound mind.

Lifting my head, I place a gentle kiss on Vic’s cheek. He pauses halfway through undoing my braids to look at me.

“Thank you,” I say in a whisper. His responding smile makes my heart clench. His eyes are filled with emotion. The strongest one being love.

“You never have to thank me for the bare minimum,dolce ciliegra.It is my life's honor to be here in this capacity for you.”

A single tear rolls down my cheek as a feeling of euphoria settles in my chest.

“I don’t deserve to be here, Valley. I hurt you in a way that’s unthinkable. But if you give me a chance, I will never allow your heart to break again. I will love you and Amity until my dying breath. Everything that is mine will be yours.Fino alla fine dei tempi, dolcezza mia.”

Unable to speak, I close the distance between us. The moment my lips meet his, we are lost to each other.

Without words, I tell him yes. I tell him just how much I want him. How I want to be his. That I want him to be mine. That I want to grow old with him, Olis and Cal. To be his Omega and him my Alpha. For him to be my baby girl's step-father. To be my everything.

Eventually we pull apart. I rest my forehead against his as I catch my breath.