Page 89 of Knot So Damaged

But now the writing is on the wall.

The woman that I have been falling over my feet for is an Omega. An Alpha’s perfect match. She is designed just for me. From the inside out, she is everything I could want and more.

But she lied to me. Or omitted the full truth at least.

I guess some blame could be placed on me. Because not once did I ever question her designation. I just ran with what I had been told.

Do I have a right to be as upset as I am? Do I even have a leg to stand on if I was to reconfront her with my feelings?

Now that I am thinking about it, maybe I don’t. Because not once has she ever owed me anything. What have I done to deserve the full truth from her?

Fuck, she was abused from her previous pack.

They fuckingabusedher.

I grip the grass I have threaded my fingers through tighter.

No matter how I feel about any of this, the one feeling that comes through stronger than the rest is the immeasurable anger I feel towards the fucking Andrews pack.

Knowing that Valley disposed of them before she left is the only reason why I am not hunting them down as we speak.

Although, the thought of finding where they are buried, digging them out just to ensure that they are dead is powerful.

I continue to sit in front of the headstone, staring at the letters etched into the granite.

“I don’t know what to do, Gwen,” I whisper into the early morning air. “After you, I never thought there would be anyone that I could picture my life with. I had resigned myself to the fact that it would only ever be you. Yet with a single glance from this girl, I have turned to mush.”

I shake my head, before sighing.

“Even from the other side, I can feel you laughing at me. But fuck, I am just so torn up. It feels like she has lied to me. Like she has betrayed me. That she has kept this massive secret from me.”

I sigh yet again and look up at the slowly rising sun, “The worst part is, I don’t think it is her that I am even mad at anymore. It's me that I am mad at. I allowed myself to become the person that she has been running from.”

I sob escapes my throat before I can catch it.

“I fucking hurt her, Gwen. I have hurt the first person that has made me feel anything real since you were taken from us. I have fucked up. More than I ever thought I would be capable of. I was borderline feral, screaming at her!”

I brush a hand roughly over my face.

“I fucking questioned if her daughter was even hers.”

Tears begin to stream down my cheeks and I rip the grass I had been gripping from the roots, throwing them to the side with a roar.

“I fucking love her, Gwen and I have already fucked it all up.”

I grip my hair, pulling at the strands as I break down. I feel a part of me break as I all but collapse into myself. My pain feels inescapable as I allow it to pour from me.

“Sitting here wallowing in self pity isn’t going to do you any favors in winning her back.”

The voice of my son has me turning with surprise. I thought I was alone out here.

Theo’s hands are tucked into his pockets, looking down at me with a mixture of pity and disappointment.

Quickly, I wipe away the tear streaks, knowing it's futile. Eventually, I clear my throat before looking back up at him.

“No amount of apologizing will ever be enough for what I did to her,” I whisper, the emotion evident in my tone.

Theo sighs, the sound laced with disappointment.