Page 79 of Knot So Damaged

Something I know that I could give her.

Maybe it isn’t just her that’s lonely either.

Fuck, it’s been a long time since I have felt the comfort of sleeping next to a warm body. It's something that until you lose it, you don’t realize just how used to it you are.

I don’t realize I have spaced out until a soft voice is pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Are you okay, Olis?”

I try to find the words but each time I open my mouth to say something, anything, they become lost to the wind.

I hear Valley grunt and watch as she carefully untangles herself from between Cal and Vic.

By the time she makes her way over to me, I am already desperate for her. The need to breathe easier just by her touch alone, is almost impossible to keep contained.

Valley steps up into the space between my legs, her touch setting me alight, taking any of the negative and lingering feelings that had been plaguing me.

She doesn’t just stop at standing in front of me though. Maneuvering both of our bodies, she settles herself down into my lap, so she is face to face with me. Her hands settle on my stomach and I suddenly notice the lack of clothing both of us are wearing. The same thought seems to occur to Valley as she stiffens slightly before relaxing again.

I follow her movements, not willing to give up this rare alone time with her.

Even though both Cal and Vic are already awake—knowing just how light sleepers they are—I am thankful that they are giving us this time together.

“Talk to me,” she whispers, her tone sending shivers over my body.

I sigh, dropping my head between my shoulders.

“Today was a lot.”

She nods, giving me an encouraging look to continue.

“I thought I had hardened myself against this life a long time ago. That there was nothing that could rattle me anymore. I became known amongst the ranks of being a force that couldn’t be broken. Today proved that I’m not that person.”

Valley looks at me sadly, her hands move up my chest to cradle my face.

“Thats because you are human, Olis. Humans break. We were never built to be impenetrable even though it would solve majority of our problems.”

I snort, knowing just how right she is.

“The thing I have come to learn about breaking is that it isn’t the end. Because you can heal from that which you feel has broken you. And in the end, maybe you aren’t so damaged. Maybe you are stronger than you ever thought possible. Even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.”

I stare up at my girl in wonder. How the fuck did I become so lucky to have found her? Is this the god's way of repaying me for everything I have lost? Because at this moment, that is exactly what it feels like. Instead of an angel and devil sitting on my shoulder, it's just Valentina.

Not for the first time tonight, do words evade me. Instead of telling her just how far I have already fallen, I close the distance between us, allowing my lips to press against hers.

Butterflies soar in my stomach, a feeling of elation overcoming me as she moves against me.

The kiss is sweet and gentle. A feeling that is foreign to me but everything I didn’t know I really needed. It becomes impossible to not lose myself in the feeling of her. To not completely forget myself and just drown in her.

Eventually though, Valley pulls away from me but doesn’t go far. Her forehead rests against mine, our breaths becoming one as we soak in the moment.

I feel the moment my body relaxes even further under her hold. Valley leans back and smiles down at me before standing up again. She holds out a hand, one Iinstantly take.

On silent feet, I follow her, not surprised at all when we reach my door.

The moment she steps inside, I curse myself for not tidying up properly. Even though it is just my shoes from the day on the floor, I still feel a hint of embarrassment.

I know I shouldn’t. Cal’s room puts mine to shame tenfold but the lingering commands of my parents from all those years ago still linger. Longer than they deserve to. God knows those two would find delight in middle aged me still abiding by their rules even still.