Page 77 of Knot So Damaged

Victor’s oakmoss and amber scent overwhelms me as I am cocooned in nothing but him. It’s euphoric in a way that is surprising. I feel my heart thunder in my chest. My core clenches, desperate for relief. Goosebumps cover my flesh; the need to shiver becoming overwhelming.

Never before have I reacted to an Alpha in this way. I never reacted positively to the Andrews pack. Rather the opposite. It was always something they enjoyed punishing me over.

Because how dare I turn up my nose to the pack that abused me.

Yet, here I am, huddled up in an Alpha’s T-shirt and I am ready to say fuck it.

Popping my head out through the hole, I suck in gulps of air, desperate to remove the cloud Vic’s scent has put over me.

He doesn’t seem to notice my turmoil as he steps away, dropping his towel and pulling on a pair of gray sweats.

Either this man is completely oblivious to the phenomenon gray sweatpants currently have on the world, or he knows exactly what he is doing. Because at almost eye level, Vic’s very impressive cock is perfectly outlined and teasing the living fuck out of me.

I don’t know who exactly I was kidding when I swore to myself that I was to never entertain an Alpha. I can feel my body screaming for the man she has decided is hers.

I gulp as I watch Vic walk around the bed, salivating as I watch his body contour as he pulls back the sheets.

I huff out a breath, needing to wipe the sweat forming on my forehead.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I shake my head and stand up, walking around to the other side of the bed and hastily climbing in.

The bed dipping beside me has me looking over to Vic. His face is void of any kind of emotion as he looks at me. When I look into his eyes though, they give me everything.

They tell me of his desire. The desperate need that he has for me and what he believes I can give him. But I can also see the need for him to give to me. The want he has to provide for me. To be the Alpha I didn’t know I needed.

That even though he believes that I am still a Beta, his want for me overrules any kind of body autonomy.

It feels as though all of my previous insecurities just diminish.

Why am I so scared of letting people close to me when they prove that they want me for me?

Not once has my designation come up in question with these men. Well apart from Conall but that is a whole other story.

It makes me think that maybe these three want me for more than my biology. That maybe I am worth more than a wet hole that can provide them an heir.

It has been years since I have felt that feeling. It's as foreign to me as a mother’s hug or a father looking upon you proudly.

A need inside of my chest arises with aggression. It claws at me. Refusing to be buried like I have done with any of my previous feelings.

Because at the time, I couldn’t feel them. Because if I did, it would have killed me. Either that or I would have walked out on the other side as nothing but a shell. Something I could never and would never do to myself.

I make a vow to myself as I remain locked in some kind of trance with Victor, that I will actually give him a chance. That I will give all three of them a chance.

Because maybe, just maybe, this is my one last chance for happiness.

The door behind me opens, startling me and forcing a small scream. Conall sticks his head through, a guilty expression on his face.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I just…” he trails off as his face falls. For a man that I know has seen the horrors this world has to offer, it's clear that what happened tonight has rattled these three men more than I know they were expecting.

Wiggling over to the middle of the bed, I tap the now free side of the bed.

Cal sighs in relief, making his way into the room in only his boxers. He makes quick work of settling in beside me before snuggling his way into my arms. He wraps his entire body around me, but somehow still manages to push me up against Vic in the process.

Nuzzling his face into my tits, he sighs, his whole body deflating in what I am sure is relief.

“I don’t know how, but you make everything better.”