Page 51 of Knot So Damaged

Taking a deep breath, I grip Valley’s hands tighter, needing to hold onto her for some kind of emotional support.

“Things were good after a few years. We fell into a good thing in the Syndicate and Underworld. We built a strong standing and became feared. Rivals didn’t mess with us because we were ruthless. We had a family to protect.”

Valley nods so I continue.

“All of that came crashing down as the boys got older. I don’t know if we just got sloppy or our routines just became too familiar but one night, the three of us went to a standard meeting with one of the motorcycle gangs in Vadena. It was seen as a low threat as we had quite a good relationship with them so we didn’t bother to take extra soldiers with us.

“Everything was going good until our phones started to blow up with calls. Olis answered the phone at the same time one of the worst pains shot through our bond to Gwen.”

Valley gasps just as the first tears roll down my face. The first tears I've cried since the funeral. But I don’t stop. Because if I do, I know I won’t be able to continue.

“We didn’t think about sticking around. Instead we stormed out of the clubhouse and raced home.”

I choke on my words and shake my head, wishing I could unsee the horrors that flash before my eyes.

The blood. The bodies of our fallen men. The horrified looks on our son's faces as they described what happened to their mother.

I do my best to convey all of the pain from that night to Valley but it's hard. It's hard to relive the worst night of my life. To explain the horrors that we went through for almost a year until we finally got put out of our misery.

Tears stream down both of our faces as I come to the end of the journey.

“We found Gwen broken and beaten almost beyond recognition at our doorstep after we said good night to the boys one night over a year later. The coroner we hired was unable to list the true extent of the injuries she suffered both while she was alive and when she was dead.”

“Oh, Cal. I’m so sorry.” A sob breaks from Valley, launching herself at me. I catch her and bring her into my arms. Her legs rest either side of mine as she sits on my lap. I cling to her like my life depends on it. I need the comfort that I know only she can give me right now.

It’s been eighteen years since I cried like this. The pain of reliving that time of my life feels almost as raw as it did then as it does now. The difference now is, I have someone that I can lean on. Someone that can help me work through the agony.

Back then, I had to be strong for my boys. I had to be there for Olis and Vic. I couldn’t allow myself to break into a thousand pieces like I know I could do right now.

“Cal? You okay?”

The tiny voice has both Valley and I startling away from each other. I turn around and see Amity looking at both of us in concern.

“Why you crying?”

Wiping the tears away from my face, I smile sadly at my little firefly.

“I was just telling your mommy a really sad story. I got a little bit upset but I am okay now. You and your mommy make it all better.”

Amity’s smile is sweet as she launches at the both of us, pulling us into her tiny arms.

“You are all better now! We are a family and family makes us all better!”

Well, fuck. If I thought I had cried enough today, my little firefly has just gone and broke my heart again.

“I would be honored to be a part of your family, Firefly.”

Chapter Sixteen

After reliving the horrors of what both Conall and I have gone through, we decide to have a movie day.

Or more so, Amity decided that we were going to have a movie day.

“I hope you are okay with princess movies because that is all Amity will watch at the moment.”

Cal chuckles, “Princess movies are my kryptonite, Little Devil.” He turns to Amity and gets down to her level, something that should have sparks flying in my chest but inevitably does. “Now, should we let it go and build snowmen or should we have sleepovers with seven dwarfs.”

Amity giggles, running over to the TV and selects her choice of film. I busy myself making a snack plate from theDoorEatsorder we made before we settle in as the opening credits start.