Page 42 of Knot So Damaged

I still plan on holding on to it for as long as I can.

Admitting to him that I am actually an Omega isn’t an option. Clubs don’t hire Omegas and for very good reason. It would be armageddon if someone was to go in heat during a dance. Especially if they were dancing for an unmated Alpha.

I internally cringe at the image that paints.

“Are you okay, Little Devil?”

Cal’s voice shocks me out of my thoughts. He chuckles as I turn to him.

“I’m fine,” I mutter but nothing about the tone of my voice is remotely convincing.

He rolls his eyes as he turns away from me.

“You clearly aren’t okay, Valentina.” He reaches his hand over and grabs mine. I’m surprised that I don’t jump but there is something about his tobacco and vanilla scent that is calming.

“I want you to know that I will be here for you and Amity every step of this journey.”

The sincerity and honesty in his voice has tears coming to my eyes but I refuse to allow them to fall. I can’t. Instead I whisper a quiet ‘thank you’.

The thought of Cal being there for me for whatever the next few years with Amity is almost like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

But, I also want to rebel. I want to yell and scream that I don’t need an Alpha. That I can do life by myself.

But I have never wanted to do life on my own. I was forced into a life of solitude.

Forced to rebel against every single thing that makes me who I am.

All because a man didn’t like being told no.

It feels as though I have a bodyguard with me as I walk into work. Cal refused to allow me to open my own door which was a surprise gesture. I didn’t allow that part of me—that wanted to melt over the chivalry—get too hopeful.

I have to distance myself from the part of myself that is wanting what he can offer. If I allow myself to become hopeful that maybe he is different, I know it will only end in heartbreak.

I will allow him to help me with Amity and help her to understand the new things her body is telling her. But when it comes to him and I, that relationship needs to remain strictly professional. Not only is he my boss but he is also an Alpha. One that I know I could easily let my guard down around. But one that I will just have to appreciate from afar.

I can’t be the person that he needs me to be.

I need to remain strong for Amity.

The thought of my little girl being an Alpha is enough to send me into another tail-spin.

No matter what these three delicious Alphas promise, they will be denied at every turn. Because I refuse to let my guard down to only be hurt again.

Work goes by at an annoyingly slow pace. The smile that is plastered on my face is terribly fake. It's clear that Cal can tell, considering the look he has been giving me the past hour.

I wish that I could take him up on what I know is an unsaid offer. His emotions are clear as day. He is hating me being here right now as much as I am.

But every time I think about going home ‘sick’, the reminder of who is at home keeps me going for another hour.

I sigh in relief as I finally take the pleasers off my feet at the end of the night. Over the years, I have become used to the feeling of wearing them but every now and then, they play up on me.

Luna likes to joke that it is just our age showing. A joke that is only funny to her. I groan as I rub the ache in the arch of my foot.

“Damn girl, any louder and you will start turning us on with those noises you are making,” Candy laughs, putting her things in her bag. The other girls all laugh and I roll my eyes.

“It has never taken you much to get turned on, Candy. A mullet and moe combo makes your kitty wetter than the Pacific Ocean.”

I snort a laugh as Luna hits the girl back with a line that runs true. We all know that the girl is easy. She even knows that.