Page 2 of Knot So Damaged

“Thank you so much, Sir. I hope you have a good night.”

As quick as I can manage, I swipe up the scraps of fabric that was my outfit of the night and turn, making a quick exit to the dressing rooms.

I hear commotion behind me but I don’t look back. My heart races with each step I take until I finally make it into the backrooms, my dressing area welcomes me back with the right amount of comfort I so desperately need right now.

I practically fall into the creaky office chair. My form slumps as I rest my head on the bench that is overflowing with a ridiculous amount of makeup, glitter and hair products.

I don’t know how long I stay there for as I try to regain control of my emotions.

Each breath feels as though it is pulled into my lungs by knives. I know that if I don’t get a grip now, I will continue to spiral until I need extra assistance in order to come back out.

I don’t need to give anyone that kind of ammunition against me. That kind of control. Even if some of these girls I am starting to consider as friends.

I refuse to trust anyone ever again. I have well and truly learned my lesson.

It's only when I hear noises coming down the hallway do I lift my head up and pretend I wasn’t on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I paint a fake smile on my face, hoping that it's enough of a disguise. It has done me well over the past couple of years at least.

“Hey babe, how has your night been?”

I smile over at my best friend, Luna, her presence setting a part of me at ease. I sigh as I begin pulling the crumpled bills out of my money bag.

“Pretty good. Mr. CEO tried his luck a little harder tonight but the man pays well.” I shrug, faking nonchalance.

Luna rolls her eyes, sorting her own money into piles. It’s clear she has had a good night based on the amount of big bills she is pulling out.

“You really need to let Ben know that he is getting more forceful each time he comes in, Valley.”

I snort. “You know there is only so much that he can do, Lulu. You and I both know that Ivan doesn’t care how handsy the clients get. As long as his pocket is full of green.”

I know her returning grumble is at both my nickname for her as well as the fact that our boss is a fucking asshole.

The Alpha and his pack are fucking heathens. Their hands are as dirty as their money. This club is just a front for their dealings. Particular customers come in for much more than a lap dance.

We make small talk while we finish sorting and counting. One thousand dollars for a Friday night. Something settles in my chest at the number. Even with the club taking their cut, I know that Amity’s daycare fees will be covered, a portion of rent will be covered as well as food for the week.

Stripping affords me that. Security in the fact that I can ensure my little girl is provided for. That she has a warm, safe bed to sleep in every night.

Because we have both known what it feels like to not have that.

If I have to sacrifice this part of myself for her, I will.

I wave goodbye to the rest of the girls as I make my way out of the club. The streets still crawl with half-cut club-goers that attempt to make their way home. I wrap my wool coat around myself tighter. I keep the knife in my hand hidden in the layers but still at the ready.

At times like this, I wish I had a car of my own.

Little good that would do me though considering I still don’t know how to drive.

Even if I wanted to,theynever would have allowed me to learn. They liked being able to keep me locked up and ready for what they wanted from me. Or more so: my body.

That's always the way isn’t it?

A pack of Alpha’s find an Omega that has a scent that appeals to them and they don’t stop until they own them.

There is no choice for the Omega.

There was no choice for me.