Page 44 of In You

New Families

Caleb

I can't remember the last time I had such an amazing time, much less this good of a time with a woman.

But with Tamryn, she makes everything feel so easy and effortless.

I don't know if it's because there's no chance for her to have an ulterior motive, or if it's because our trauma bonds us like two puzzle pieces who fit together just right. But whatever it is, I'm grateful.

Because for the first time in my life, I get to actually see what it feels like to be normal.

To feel like I am just a man, who's showing his girl out for a good time and man doesn't it feel good.

We left the house with no plan, utilizing the forty-five minute drive to the town to sporadically look up anything and everything we could get into. We decided not to stay out too long, because we didn't want to leave the dogs alone for hours on end, but we found some random stuff to get into.

We've gone ice skating, which is where I learned her balance is shit, forcing us to be stuck to each other the entire time.

Then we went for hot chocolate and a movie.

And, because she's seemingly got a wicked sweet tooth all of a sudden, she wants to stop at the store on the way home for ingredients to make brownie a la modes.

"I think I'm going to make some chili tomorrow now that the weather's decided to make up its mind about keeping snow on the ground," I say, grabbing a bag of onions while we're in produce.

"Ohhh, can you make it spicy?" she asks, leaving my side to walk over to the wall where all the peppers are. I push the cart over, grabbing a few more things on the way, and watch as she carefully picks out four or five jalapenos. "And maybe some sour cream?"

"Of course. Might want to get a few more of those, sweetheart. I make a big, big pot. The one I keep in the cabinet above the fridge."

"Ah!" she says, reaching forward and grabs a few more, plus a serrano.

I tear off a couple of the plastic bags, tying them off and then tuck her under my shoulder. She feels so good next to me I don't know how I've never not had her there. I put my lips to her curls, giving her a kiss. "Hey, do we need to get you any more product for your hair?"

"Yeah, and I think we might need to get some more deodorant too. Hey," she says, tilting her head to look up at me while we walk, "we can't forget to get your whiskey before we leave. You're almost out."

Feeling considered, my eyes lower as I contemplate for a few seconds as we walk along the aisles at how much it means to me to have someone looking out for me and my needs for a change.

Her hand looks so small next to mine as she helps steer the cart towards the bakery aisle, hell bent on getting her sweet stuff.

I put my hand over hers, and as she looks up with me we share a small smile.

One that has my heart melting because…I love this woman. Point blank.

I've got my guard down for once in my fucking life, pushing the cart through the aisles and watching with amusement as our little brownie stop is turning into pies, and cobblers, and cakes complete with candles to light on them, when a giggle catches my ear.

I look to the side and see a couple with four kids, one of them a baby sitting in his seat in their cart.

The dad laughs as he picks up a little girl with pigtails who's about three, and she lays her head tiredly on his shoulder, sucking her thumb in her mouth.

I grin at how wholesome they look, suddenly wondering what it'd be like to pick a little kid up in my arms at the end of a long day when we're struggling through a grocery trip before going home.

I look over at Tamryn, imagining her pregnant

Tingles erupt in my chest, and I remember Frank's advice that I need to feel.

And I do…but instead of letting myself always look for the negative, I embrace this feeling as something positive.

I'd never put much thought into being a dad, figuring my abuse was so deep I'd never have a normal relationship with a woman.

I turn, running my hand down her hair and then lean in to place a kiss against her temple.

"Don't you think we have enough sweet stuff?" I say in a teasing voice, gesturing at the cart. "We got enough sugary treats here to last us through the winter-"

"Daddy!" she screeches over me, putting her palms to her cheeks, and then bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet much like she did this morning in the bedroom.

In slow motion, my head turns as I follow her gaze to the man about fifteen feet away.

My heart skips a beat, the pain in my chest exploding throughout my body to the point my ears ring, and all hearing fades as she bounds on her feet towards the family with her arms stretched out towards the man holding the child.

No.

Holy mother fucking fuucckkk!

"Tamryn, no!" I snap, horrified, pain erupting throughout my muscles as my entire body locks up in shock.

The two older kids; a boy who looks to be about nine, and another girl who's probably seven, turns to look at Tamryn running to them.

As does the man's wife. The woman's brows scrunch together, her lip curls, and she takes a couple hasty steps back with the two older kid's hands in hers, pulling them back with her.

But it's the man's reaction that I laser focus on: his face flushes as recognition flashes in his eyes, hidden behind wire-framed glasses. He's about early fifties, maybe a little less, six-foot tall, dark brown and white hair, and… big ears.

"Tamryn, get back here," I say sharply, breaking out in a dead run right as she throws herself at the man and the toddler he's holding.

Pure, unadulterated chaos ensues.

Lunging forward, I grip Tamryn's elbow, my brain furiously racing to formulate a plan that'll get us out of this.

"Daddy, I knew that was you! I haven't seen you in so long. Where have you been?" Tamryn whines in a high pitched, young girl voice, digging her fingers into his arms and giving him a small shake.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," he snaps, "get away from me!"

She yelps as I jerk her back a few steps, staring at the man so hard that it only hits me right then that I'm not acting right either.

"Mr. Calvin had to get me another daddy because you didn't come back like you said you would!

" She stomps her foot, getting a scowl on her face as she gives the other children and even the man's wife a dirty look.

"Because you have a new family!" she spits venomously, pointing a finger at the little girl in his arms, now with a look of betrayal on her face.

"I'm sorry," I say hurriedly, yanking Tamryn to my side and clamping my hand hard on her shoulder. "Honey, be quiet. Come with me," I say firmly.

Looking at the woman, I open my mouth to speak, but can't get a word in before Tamryn blurts out: "Do you eat dog food out of her too?" she asks loudly, pointing at the seven-year-old girl that's clutching the mom's hand and staring up at us with her mouth opened.

My eyes snap to the man's, and his widen as all the color drains out of his face.

"Do you eat dog food out of her girlfriend too, Daddy?" Tamryn yells angrily, stomping her foot. “Tell me!”

The mom cries out, outraged, and shoves the kids behind her and takes the cart with the baby, pulling it back as well. "Get away from us!" she shouts.

The man turns beet red now when people crowd at either end of the isle to stare, and he starts stammering, looking guilty as fucking sin.

'But, Daddy," Tamryn says, her face breaking as she realizes the man is rejecting her. Her eyes turn sad, and she bows her head, touching her chin to her chest as she pouts. "Daddy, I thought you loved me. You said you loved meeee."

Something sick I've never felt before rolls down my spine and fills me up from the inside out. So much of it, that I know that I will not sleep until this man is dead.

I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, I have never felt fury like this.

Ever. The gun burns from its spot tucked into my pants, and I truly think that if Tamryn didn't need me so badly, I'd pull it out and gun him down even in front of his kids and everyone else in this store. But if I do that, I'll lose Tamryn.

The man turns towards his wife and shakes his head, putting his hand to their toddler's hair and rubs it tenderly. "Nancy, I don't know that woman, I swear on our kid’s lives."

A pretty ironic swear, considering he's a pedophile.

And considering he's a dead man walking.

"She's not mentally well," I explain rapidly, pulling her back firmly.

Abandoning our cart, I walk backwards, keeping my eyes on his for a second too long, and his brow arches a tiny bit with the question in his face if I'm her "daddy" now.

You're fucking goddamn right I am. And I'll be the only daddy she ever has from here on out, I promise.

Blood boiling in my veins and roaring in my ears, I haul her out of the store and into the Jeep where she cries because we left her Daddy in the store.

I'm so on edge that I lean over and grab her hand.

"Sweetie, that man's not your daddy anymore, I am.

And I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here forever. "

Tamryn stops crying and hiccups, her eyes going wide as she glances up at me through wet lashes. She sniffs, wiping the back of her hand across her nose. "Really?" she asks in a small, child-like voice. "You mean that?"

"Yes, darling, I do." Clenching my jaw so hard my teeth grind together, I lean forward, grabbing tissues out of the glove compartment and wiping her nose for her as she sniffles and tries to jerk her face away from me.

Agitated, I commence to settling into the car to wait for the man and his family to come out.

"I just need you to be patient for a bit, okay, and I'll take you to Andy's and get you an ice cream cone. "

"Yay!" she says, getting a sweet smile on her face. "Thank you, daddy, you're the best."

Giving her a tight lipped smile, I gently chastise myself for even entertaining the brief thought that we'll ever be normal.

We will never be normal. And right now, as long as I get to absolutely run that man through I don't care that I'll never be normal ever again.

I don't want to be if it means letting that man live in peace. Fuck that.

I turn the radio on to a kid's pop station, and sit patiently in the parking lot listening to her sing along with them.

It takes exactly six songs before the family comes out of the store, and I watch with every muscle tight with strain, vying for control over my body and my sanity, as the woman loads the kids in the van while the man puts the groceries in the trunk.

He keeps sneaking looks around the parking lot with a concerned look on his face, no doubt wondering if Tamryn's going to pop out of nowhere again.

Probably listening for sirens to come carry his ass away.

And trust me when I say that there's no way in fucking hell I'm letting that man go to prison.

Over my dead body. I firmly stow away fantasies of pulling out my gun and shooting him in the parking lot, and instead put his license plate into my phone and then make my IT guy run it, verifying that the plates aren't stolen or fake, and pull off to get Tamryn's ice cream.

She's taking the first lick when my phone dings with the man's home address and full name.

Trevor Graham.

It's about to be one long goddamn night, so I'm glad I slept in this morning.

Later that night Tamryn yawns, stretching hard as she blinks sleepily, curled on her side in our bed, almost there.

We went straight to the kitchen for a glass of water as soon as we came home.

Thank God she switched back. I hate to think what I'd do if she didn't because I need to get that man tonight.

I'd turn into something truly horrific if I couldn't, and she doesn't need to see that.

"Go to sleep, honey. Stop fighting it," I murmur as I reach over, rubbing my hands in a soothing motion down the back of her head, stroking her hair. I gave her three sleeping pills a couple hours before bedtime that way once she's out, she's out.

She nods and sighs deeply as her eyes flutter closed and finally stay closed.

Ironically, I put a baby monitoring camera on her so I can watch her while I'm out, and as an extra precautionary measure I leave a note on my pillow, telling her I had to leave for an emergency for a couple of hours but I'll be back in a little bit, signing it with an endearment.

Love you. -Caleb.

Just in case she wakes up looking for me. But I doubt she will.

I dress in all black, complete with gloves and a beanie, and switch to an unassuming car that I keep parked on the other side of the shed. Ripping the cover off, I stow it to the side and then I start the engine silently, stashing my bag in the front passenger seat.

I go slow as I make my way to the man's address, and pull a couple streets over before walking to the house.

It's dead silent, as it should be at one o'clock in the morning, but I stay careful regardless.

I make sure the house doesn't have an alarm to trip, and then I pick my way in through the basement.

It takes me forever to go up the stairs as they creak, and I go even slower when I open the door and step into the kitchen.

A rottweiler enters the room, but before it has a chance to growl, I shoot it dead, causing my heart to squeeze with pain.

Everything's silent thanks to the silencer on my rifle, however, it makes a thumping noise as it slumps over on the floor next to its dog bowl.

I step over him quietly, easily finding my way through the house as it's a simple layout.

I carefully check to make sure the first floor is clear and free of children before I make my way to the upper floor, ready to fucking go.

Ascending the upper floor I stay stealthily quiet as I peek in the rooms, verifying that three of the children are sleeping and accounted for. Only the baby is missing.

I close their bedroom doors as I go along, heading down the hall to the master.

A single rainbow nightlight beams its light on the hardwood floor of the hall.

And as I near the parent's bedroom, I know the baby is in there, but honestly, the baby's about to have a new family so, I couldn't care less.

At least it's too young to remember that I'm about to murder it's parents.

Intent on enacting my revenge, I take a deep breath before putting a hand to the door knob and pushing it open.

Man, what a fucking treat.