Page 14 of In You

"Hi there. My name is Dr. Riviera. What's your name?" Dr. Riviera speaks quietly as she sets her case to the side of the couch before lowering to her knees about six feet away from Tamryn.

"Camilla," Tamryn says in a small voice.

Shock fills me causing me to blink once, but I force myself to stay silent and still as I observe what's going on.

I'd thought Camilla was just the false name that Calvin gave her.

One to keep her true identity a secret. I don't know what's going on, and I work to keep my face neutral, wanting her to feel like someone here has got things under control. Because she obviously doesn't.

Tamryn's visibly trembling, and tears are in her eyes.

Dr. Riviera takes it in stride, giving her a gentle smile and softening her tone even more till it feels a hair away from baby talk. "Okay, Camilla. It's so nice to meet you. I'm here to look you over and make sure you're okay. Is that okay?"

After a weighted pause, Tamryn nods.

Dr. Riviera shuffles just a little bit closer and then puts her eyes to Tink. "That's a pretty poodle you have there. She seems to love you very much."

Tamryn blinks and then looks down at Tink, who's resting her head on her breast, looking content. Glancing back up, she nods. "Her name is Tink."

"That's good.” Dr. Riviera smiles. “Okay, now…

can you move the blanket a little so I can see your arm?

Caleb told me it was broken and that I need to check it.

Would it be okay if I do? You can keep Tink in your left arm if it makes you feel better.

" Another pause as Tamryn nods and then lowers the blanket off her head, and then off her right arm. "May I touch you?"

This time the pause is longer. By a lot. The seconds sludge by, feeling like torture. I feel my throat work hard around a swallow, and where I once thought my heart was dead. It's not. It's full of blinding grief for her. Tamryn shakes her head no. She doesn't want to be touched.

My own demons shift uncomfortably as I watch her struggle. She needs someone.

My fists clench at my side as I consider my life, and that maybe…maybe that someone could be me.

Dr. Riviera turns her head to look over her shoulder and then eyes me, wrestling my attention from my rather deluded inner thoughts. "Caleb, this might go better if you leave."

Tamryn's eyes go wide, and then her chin begins to tremble in earnest as she snaps her gaze to mine. My entire being shifts slightly at how broken she is. Holding my eyes, she shakes her head once.

Only once, but it was enough.

"Hell no. I'm not leaving," I say harshly, making both the women look at me, but I keep my eyes on Tamryn.

"I'm not leaving you, sweetheart," I choke out.

It's not manly, but tears threaten to spill out of my own eyes.

"I'm not leaving you alone." Tamryn's eyes do overflow, however, but I don't tear my gaze from hers.

"Tamr- Camilla," I correct myself, "please let her look at your arm.

It's the only way you're going to feel better. "

Tamryn's gaze slides back to Dr. Riviera, who stays kneeled patiently.

She nods, and thankfully Dr. Riviera goes slow.

She opens her case for a pair of medical scissors, and when she touches Tamryn to move her arm in place so she can cut her cast off, Tamryn lowers her head into Tink's neck and begins sobbing.

It's deep, guttural, and heart wrenching.

"I'm sorry, hun. So sorry," Dr. Riviera mumbles as she works over her arm.

Something stirs deep inside my chest. That tender part of me that I thought I'd beat back into submission. The seven-year-old Caleb who had his heart broken by the one person who was supposed to love and protect me.

The tips of my ears get hot, and my entire body flushes warm as a tear moves down my cheek, shocking me.

I don't mean to sound like this but, I couldn't tell you when's the last time I cried.

I think when Frank gave me the verbal lashing of a lifetime when I was eighteen, but that's it.

I didn't even cry at my sister's funeral, because in my head, Flora's not gone.

But this? What this man did to Tamryn was fucked up. I've never seen a woman cry like this.

And what's worse, I'm about certain now that her brain has split to protect itself.

The woman who's crying right now isn't Tamryn, it's Camilla, and Camilla was hurt beyond belief.

Something else I can't ever remember feeling regret about is a kill.

But right now, I know for a fucking certain I killed that man way too mercifully than what he needed.

He deserved to suffer for what he did to this woman.

A single bullet between the eyes was maybe a tenth of what he should have had happen to him.

God fucking damn it.

When she gets the cast off, my fists clench even harder and my chest tightens at the sight.

Bile floods my mouth forcing me to swallow hard.

The fingers are crooked, and there's huge, blooming black bruises going up the third and ring fingers of her right hand, trailing up her wrist and halfway up her forearm.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened.

Leaning forward in my seat I rub my hand down my face and exhale a quiet breath. He was making her live with a broken hand under the guise of it healing to the outside world.

Dr. Riviera doesn't say a word, just sits back on her heels for a moment as Tamryn's crying disturbs the otherwise eerie silence. "It's not set right," she finally says.

My eyes narrow, because it very obviously wasn't set at all.

But I suppose the doctor knows that, she's just trying to spare Tamryn any more trauma than necessary.

Seeing the doctor be so obviously tender and kind to Tamryn has me wondering that just maybe there's a woman out there who might get me to open up.

My eyes slide to Tamryn, whose tear-streaked face ignites and soothes something deep inside me.

Is it possible that it could be her?

"This is why you feel like this. May I put my hand on your arm?

I'm going to press into your joints just a little and see what we're working with.

And then," Dr. Riviera looks up at Tamryn, "I'm going to have to set this the right way.

I'll need to use an x-ray machine just to make sure that I don't miss anything, but we can't leave your hand like this. "

Tamryn's breathing hard as she stares back at her, but then her eyes slide to mine just for a moment. When our gazes clash, I nod.

She takes about three deep breaths and then nods at Dr. Riviera.

But none of us are prepared when the doctor ever so slowly puts her hand to Tamryn's bare arm, and the scream that comes from her is jarring.

She jerks her face to the side, squeezes her eyes shut, and her face flushes red at the first contact, and just wails her heart out so loud it echoes through the home.

Ringo puts his ears back and growls.

Worried, I lean forward to lay a hand on his head. "Shhh. Calm down Ringo, it's okay," I murmur.

Dr. Riviera snatches her hand back and then goes a step further and shuffles back a foot.

Tamryn runs out of breath because her scream stops, and then she shivers in the seat, weakly pulling the blanket more over her.

Her body's broken out into a sweat. And the poor thing is shaking so hard it's a wonder she's staying in her seat.

I grit my teeth so hard I'm surprised I don't crack a fucking tooth straight in half.

Couldn't tell my brain I didn't though; pain explodes through my head, and I clench my fist on my thigh, forcing myself to be silent, because this isn't about me and I don't want anyone thinking it is.

Through some very clever convincing, Tamryn allows Dr. Riviera to give her a local anesthetic to get her through the x-rays.

But she's still fearful of being touched.

It takes almost an hour, and a lot of apologies on Dr. Riviera's behalf, and it has to be done through Tamryn's screaming to the point she almost passes out; she's so exhausted, but we get the x-ray pictures.

Pity rises in me; there's a knuckle out of joint, and the ring finger needs to be adjusted, and a phalange from her knuckle to her wrist needs to be pushed back into place.

She relents to being put under anesthesia, and while she's out cold and the doctor is working on her, I step into the next room, put my head in my hands and cry silently, my past being dredged up in response to her pain. Because I get it.

I get what it's like for someone to touch you when you don't want them to.