Page 43 of In You

DLG

Tamryn

"No!" I shout, stomping my foot. "I don't wanna! I said I want to eeeaaaaat!"

Mr. Calvin puts the silver thing to my head. The thing that makes me scared because when he used it on my puppy, she didn't move any more after he did it. "Get your ass down on the fucking floor and spread your legs before I blow your goddamn brains out all over this room like I did Princess."

My chin quivers as snot drips over my lips and down my chin. "Okaayyyy," I cry, lifting up my dress and then laying back on the bed. "M-Mr. Calvin, I'm scared. It's so dark," I whisper, trying to wipe at my face with my dress.

He removes the silver thing from my head and then smiles, rubbing his hand down my hair. I nuzzle into his hand and feel his hand working between my legs. When I go to lower my hand to scratch where it's itchy, he takes my hand and pulls it out of the way.

A tall figure comes through the door and then I blink. "Are you my daddy?" I whisper up to the man looming above me.

He looks over at Mr. Calvin and smiles. "Can I turn a lamp on? I'd like to see her."

Mr. Calvin nods, and the man reaches over to turn the light on. When I see his face, and his kind smile, I stop crying and I feel so safe because he already knows I don't like the dark. This must be my daddy.

"Daddy!" I gasp, making grabby hands at him.

"Yeah," he smiles at me, leaning down to blow a raspberry in my tummy. "I'm your daddy. And I'm going to help you feel better down there, alright?"

I nod, giving him a watery smile. "Okay," I hiccup. "Thank you because I'm itchy."

Mr. Calvin and daddy chuckle. And daddy goes down to his knees in front of me, and he does make the itch feel better. I giggle because I knew he would. I knew my daddy would come kiss and make it better.

Mr. Calvin gives me a little kiss and then nuzzles my nose with his. "I love you, Cunty. You make me so proud."

"I love you! Can I eat now? I'm hungry."

Daddy leaves the room, making me sad.

Mr. Calvin nods and then gets off the bed, I hear him putting food in my bowl while I pull my dress down and then I stretch, yawning. Walking over to him and bending down to grab my toy off the floor. I look up at Mr. Calvin.

"Mr. Calvin, where did my daddy go?"

He chucks me under my chin. "He'll be right back. Eat your food."

I lower to my knees and bend down to the bowl, but before I can finish, another man comes through the door that isn't my daddy that just left.

My brows scrunch. "He doesn't look like my daddy."

Mr. Calvin places a kiss on my forehead. "I found another daddy for you."

I gasp. "I have two daddies?"

He chuckles. "Yes, you have two daddies."

I look at the man and then smile. "Hi, daddy!"

He goes to his knees and pats my thigh. Laying on my back, I spread them, giggling.

"Hi, Cunty. How's daddy's little girl?"

I wake up screaming. Shaking and fighting with the bedcovers tangled around my legs.

Sunlight streams brightly through the window.

"Hey, hey. Hey!" Caleb says, waking me up out of it.

My eyes go wide and then I swallow thickly trying to unlock my throat.

His eyes go to mine and I feel my face is wet with tears.

I scratch at my neck, trying to force my voice out, digging my nails into the skin.

My heart pounds, and my mind races, but no matter how fast my mind races, I can't remember the dream.

"What's wrong? What's wrong, baby?" he asks, his worried eyes flickering between mine.

I gasp as cold sweat sticks my clothes to my body. My teeth begin to chatter. "I don't know," I say in a strained voice, curling my fingers into his t-shirt and gripping tightly. "I- I don't know."

My face breaks as I begin ugly crying, my heart racing even as my body refuses to let go

It's like Sarah said; the mind may suppress, but the body keeps the score.

Caleb curses softly, turning on the bedside lamp and then pushes Ringo away so he can get out of bed. Even Tink coming up to my chest and curling under my chin doesn't help. She lays there, whining, as he walks to the dresser across from the bed.

"Oh my Goddd!" I say miserably, rocking myself side to side in the bed while he roots around for a nightgown.

He snatches one up, quickly coming to my side and helping me out of my sweat soaked clothes.

When he's done I'm starting to come out of my anxiety attack, and shame starts to creep in where fear took up all my space.

My chin trembles as I stare up at him helplessly.

Into the eyes of this man who is just as broken as me, who needs to be focusing on himself instead of looking down at me with such tenderness and care that it sends me over into another crying fit.

"I-I'm s-so s-s-so-sorryyyyy," I blubber, bringing my hands to my face to hide.

He shushes me, pulling my hands gently away and then bending down to kiss my forehead, then the tip of my nose, then the side of my eye.

"Don't you dare be sorry, you hear me? I love you, Tamryn.

" He puts his hand to the center of my chest and presses, making my heart beat even faster except for a different reason.

My tears stop, and my eyes go wide as I dig my nails into his…chest?

I look between us, seeing I'm touching his chest for the first time.

"Caleb, I-" My breath hitches as our eyes lock, but unable to help it, my gaze drifts down to my palms again.

"Caleb, you're letting me touch you." When his eyes drift down he freezes.

My heart skips a beat, as does his under my palm, and then all the air is sucked out of the room.

Wetting my lips, I swallow hard. "Hey," I whisper, bringing his eyes back to mine. "I love you too…"

There's no reaction. His sharp eyes bore into mine so intensely that I squirm under him as my nightmare fades, my anxiety faces, and my fear all fly out the window with that look that lets me know this man is mine. He's mine. Belongs to me and I'll never let him go.

Removing my hand from his chest I trace over his lips gently with a fingertip, forcing myself to somehow not melt under his dark gaze. "You're mine," I whisper timidly.

I don't think women are supposed to be so possessive, but here we are.

His brow arches and his eyes flick to my lips, he licks them, as if he's hungry. "Being mine's a lot of work, sweetheart," he says, his voice hoarse and low with desire.

His cock thickens against the side of my hip where he's pressed against me, and I press my finger to the seam of his mouth a bit. He sucks my finger in his mouth, licking before nipping the pad of my finger with his teeth. His eyes turn playful as he tightens just a little harder.

"Ouch," I complain, scrunching up my nose as I jerk my finger away and playfully press against his jaw, turning his face away.

He swings his gaze back to mine, chuckling before he bends down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

I raise my head up off the pillow to follow his mouth as he pulls away, but he puts a broad hand to my chest and pushes me back down to the bed roughly.

"Stay here. I'm going to make you a cup of hot tea."

A goofy look I've never felt myself make before passes over my face and I put the back of my hand to my lips, trying to hide what has to be a goofier smile. "Okay," I giggle, hating how red my face feels like it’s getting.

He gives me another knowing, sexy chuckle before sliding off the bed and then backing up to the door, keeping his eyes on me.

"Don't hurt yourself," I tease quietly, sure as shit that he's going to stumble into the door, but of course, he doesn't. I don't even know why I thought he would, he knows this house and property like the back of his hand.

Caleb smiles and then turns, opening the door and then disappearing down the hallway with Ringo close on his heels.

The second his footsteps are gone I jump up to my feet in the bed and then jump up and down like a lovesick teenager, having a mini freak out. I can't wait to tell Sarah about this. I fall to the soft covers and then stare up at the ceiling wide eyed. I know I feel it, but….am I ready?

Like actually ready to let someone in enough to love them?

For me, love's never been hard, ever. But honestly, Caleb's not hard to love. His abject vulnerability underneath that layer of stoicism, makes a person want to love him. I hope I'm easy to love like that.

When he walks back into the room with a tray tea service for two, I sit up and pull back the covers so he can join me back in bed. He slides in and I'm struck by how much space he takes up. Equally as struck as how the size of him doesn't bother me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, putting the tray over my legs and then grabbing his own mug to blow on it.

"About what?"

He looks at me sharply, furrowing his brow and frowning. "The nightmare."

"Oh," I say, adding a bit of honey and lemon to my cup and stirring. "I don't remember it."

Thank God.

He makes a soft sound in his throat before the room plunges into comfortable silence.

He never pushes me, letting me take my time with things that are difficult.

It's a nice change from before. Looking over at him, I rest my head on the headboard and stare for a few seconds, willing myself to be brave.

"Calvin used to force me to talk about stuff with him," I say. "My trauma. Then when it was all said and done he used it against me. Love bombed me half to death. Took advantage of my grief and made me feel like I could trust him." I look down at my lap and then blink back tears.

"Tamryn, I wouldn't do that to you…I hope I haven't been triggering you this whole time with my shit," Caleb says, closing his eyes on a groan. He tilts his head down and gives his head a little shake, like he's chastising himself.

"No," I say, running my hand down his forearm. "Honey, you don't trigger me…" He goes silent, just staring into his cup. "Caleb?"

"But I think I do." He heaves a big sigh as his eyes turn sad. "Tamryn, the first time I told you I loved you, you switched to your seven year old identity, and you didn't come back to yourself for almost eighteen hours."

Oh…

Wait.

Awed, I look at him, nibbling my bottom lip. "You told me you loved me before?"

He clears his throat softly, bringing his eyes back to mine in a look that I can't decipher. But I feel it. It feels open, welcome, and safe. "Yeah," he says. "I did."

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. I try to remember, but I can't. That's the most stressful part of this entire ordeal, is the huge lapses in memories, but then there's unexpected slivers of memories that bleed through.

It's almost more frustrating than the chunks of memory that are gone.

I'd rather it all go away. That way I can just start fresh.

"It's okay. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I just wanted you to know. I really do love you. It's scary, and hard, because I feel like I just gave you the power to hurt me."

"I won't hurt you, I won't."

He nods, taking a big drink of his tea and then settles his hand on my thigh. "Imma hold you to that," he breathes quietly with a smile behind the cup. The corner of his mouth tips up, but he keeps his gaze on the mirror to the dresser across from us. "So, does that mean we go together?"

I snort laughing, pressing my fingers to my lips.

"What are we, in middle school?" I tease, tears streaming down my face as I try to get over how tickled I am.

He takes the cup out of my hand until I'm done falling all over the pillows screaming-laughing.

He puts the tray down on the floor and then gets up.

"You know what? That's what we need!" He claps his hands together then goes to the closet, throwing the door open and then flicking through.

"Here, clean up and put this on. We're going out for a day of fun! "

My eyes go round. "Really?"

He tosses another lounge set onto the bed at my feet, and to see him be so excited about something ignites my own excitement. "Yes! Go take a shower, I'm going to make us a late breakfast since we slept in, and then we'll head out."

I scramble from the covers, eager to get out. I bounce on the balls of my feet, clasping my hands together. "Oh my God, are you serious? We're really going out for a whole day?"

Caleb nods. "Yes." Leaning forward, he smacks my ass hard, making me giggle and then stumble a few steps, my eyes round.

"Whoa there, tiger," I tease, putting my hand back there to rub the burn away. "You might start something you can't finish."

He cuts his eyes to me. "Oh I always finish it. Always."

Much like he did earlier, I inch my way backwards to the door as we go back and forth a few times about who's really going to finish who and then slip through it.

Energized.