Page 32 of In You

Mine

Caleb

She gasps, her face breaking as she clutches her fingers into my chest. My fingers tighten in her hair as I hold my breath, my eyes flickering between hers as I wait with my heart pounding painfully hard in my chest for who it is. I can't let the fact that she turned into Nathan…

Fuck. What the fuck.

What the ever loving fuck. Is she even going to remember she killed that man?

My eyes roam her frantically, fingers gripping her tightly, just as panicked as she feels, I'm sure.

This is bad. So incredibly bad I can't even wrap my brain around what's happened.

It isn't until her face softens, and her big brown eyes open, looking into mine, pleading, and vulnerable, does this internal stress I've been harboring eases.

"You saved me! " she gasps. "Thank you."

Camilla. My being floods with relief so strong I hang my head with the force of it. "Oh God, love," I choke out in a thick voice, running my hands down her hair and down her neck. "Baby, are you okay?" I grab the side of her face in my palm and tilt her head up to mine.

Tears flow down her cheeks, and desperately, I lower my lips to hers in a bruising kiss.

I groan as she freezes, her lips stiffening under mine.

My fingers tighten against her. I've been in hell the last several hours, wondering if she's okay.

Praying to God that I didn't break her even worse than she already is.

I'm tired from disposing of three bodies, hauling the deer back to the shed, and now waiting outside the door for her to come out worried out of my mind at the state of hers because I didn't even know it was possible for a person to have an alter of the opposite sex.

But after hours of waiting, it became apparent she wouldn't come, and I just snapped.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I had to know she was okay. And if it makes me a fucked up person for forcing her hand like this, then so be it. I'm fucked up anyways.

But I think she makes me a better person.

Palming her ass, I lift her roughly to wrap her legs around my waist and step out of the tub, heading to my bedroom. I probably should be asking her for permission. I should probably be saying anything, really. But I can't.

We need each other.

"Out," I snap to Ringo and Tink who whine and then leave the bedroom with their tails between their legs.

I close the door on them, and turn my face to hers. We stare into each other's eyes as I walk to my bed and then lay her down softly. She blinks as I rip my wet shirt off, and then her eyes zero in on the scar on my chest before flickering back to mine.

I grab her ankle, pulling her boot off, then do the other.

She sits up completely when I sink to my knees, and I hold her eye contact as I roll her socks down and off her feet.

She surprises me by pulling her shirt off, but she struggles to reach around the back to unhook her bra.

I smooth my hands up her thighs and to her back, undoing it and pulling it off in one fluid movement.

Her cheeks blush red, and she crosses her arms, looking at me shyly. The difference between her expressions when she's Camilla vs when she's Tamryn is subtle, but there.

"Move them," I say calmly. She sucks in her bottom lip, and I arch a brow as I unbutton her pants, lowering my voice. "Camilla, move them."

Almost irritatingly slow, she lowers her arms to brace her hands on the bed behind her, and I lean forward to lick her left nipple, before moving to the right one and sucking it into my mouth.

I eat up her little breathy moans and gasps, letting myself relax just a little into being intimate with another person.

Ahhh fuck. Fuck, I needed this.

My heartbeat picks up, and I let myself enjoy something as simple as sucking on her breasts, knowing I'm giving her pleasure. She threads her fingers into my hair, wiggling against me.

I give her a warning nip. "Stay still, and take your pleasure, Camilla."

My fingers curl in the waistband of her pants and underwear, and she lets out an adorable giggle as I tug her off the edge a little as I get them off. "Oops," she says breathlessly. But I just respond by shoving my lips to her pussy and latching on tightly to her clit.

I groan at her taste, feeling my hands trembling.

Six years. It's been six goddamn years since the last time I let my guard down enough to be with a woman.

I'm not inexperienced, I'm just so damaged that the logistics of someone with my kind of trauma being intimate with someone is difficult to navigate.

I've never wanted anyone to really see me enough for me to have to explain what happened.

To have to be vulnerable enough to tell them why I can only fuck in certain positions, or tolerate certain touches.

Why they can never sleep over with me.

But with Tamryn, I don't have to pretend. Don't feel the need to. She sees and recognizes my pain, and meets me with her own. The fact that we're able to come together like this is nothing short of a blessing, one I'll cherish forever.

"Oh, God!" she yelps, raising on her tiptoes, but I firm my hand on her hips and push her back down to the bed, lifting her legs so her feet brace against my shoulders. Unwilling to let her deny what I need from her.

What she deserves from me.

"Holy fuck, you taste good. Goddamn." I suck and suck until suddenly she pushes with her feet, making her clit scrape through my teeth.

I growl, yanking her back and then shoving two fingers inside of her.

She arches off the bed, crying out and trying to roll her hips from me.

The little clasps of her pussy around my fingers is pure heaven, and I don't know how long I've gone without her.

Groaning, I suck her back into my mouth, feeling like a man starved as her scent takes me over. I finger fuck her slowly, feeling my face harden when she bucks me off her again. "Camilla-" I say in a warning tone, glancing up her body to see her watching me carefully.

"I want your cock inside me," she says in a tiny voice.

My brow arches. "You do, huh?"

She nods, and I stand up, ripping my shirt off and then kicking off my boots waiting for the anxiety to swell up and paralyze me, but to my relief, it doesn't. My pants and briefs come off next, and I bite back a grin as her eyes go impossibly wide when she sees my cock.

I bring a hand up to cup my aching length, giving it a rough tug and rolling my head on my shoulders as I struggle to release some of this tension within me.

"Fine. I'll eat you out more later," I say, not wanting to verbalize too much because I'm still trying to figure out what triggers her, and I don't want to mess this up.

I crawl up her body, staring back at her as she looks up at me warily.

"It's…It's kinda big," she says breathlessly, wetting her bottom lip.

"I know, darling," I chuckle, swooping down to tug her bottom lip from between her lips and sucking on it. "It is. Don't be scared. I promise to make you feel good."

She gives me a nervous giggle, and then puts her fingers to her mouth as I grab my cock and then pause, looking down at her.

"Do you want to do it?" I ask, feeling my heart begin to beat erratically. I've never let another woman touch my cock before. She knows this, but I hadn't expected her to remember, considering everything with her memory. But she surprises me, and scrunches her brows.

"You… you trust me?" she whispers.

I swallow thickly, feeling my body break out in a fine mist of sweat, and my skin flush uncomfortably hot. "Yeah. Yeah I trust you, baby."

Her fingers leave her lips to very slowly touch my shoulder, and I keep my eyes on hers as she watches herself drag them almost agonizingly slow down my arm, then across to my torso, careful to not grace my chest. But when she gets to the V in my abdomen, I suck a deep breath and unconsciously pull away in a move that takes us both by surprise.

Tamryn jerks her fingers back, pinning her eyes to mine. "I'm s-sorry," she stutters, looking scared.

"Nooo…" I breathe, biting the inside of my cheek hard. "No, I'm sorry-"

"Do you want me to be on top?" she whispers, putting her fingers to my hair and stroking gently. "Would that be better?"

I turn my head fast and press a kiss to her inner wrist as my heart summersaults in my chest. Memories of my abuse rise to the surface, and another layer of sweat adds to the first as I work hard to imagine Tamryn there with her hands braced on top of me, instead of who I do.

She stays quiet, giving me patience and time to settle myself.

It’s not a hard feat because her touch grounds me.

"No, honey, I…I need this," I admit in a small voice. "I really need this."

Oh god…does she think I'm weak?

Less of a man?

She nods, her eyes softening. "I do too."

Keeping my eye contact, she reaches down slowly, and when I drag another breath in again she doesn't jerk away this time, only waiting until my breath is level before going lower.

The ragged sound that leaves me is embarrassing as her warm hand clasps my cock.

The first time a woman's touched me there besides… her.

My head lowers to rest against her temple as I focus on her smell, on the hesitant feel of her hand taking her time with me.

I shudder as pleasure and fear race through me. When she strokes me gently at the same time her head turns and her lips nuzzle my jaw, I feel the nerves begin to leave when I realize she really does need this as much as I do. She shifts, spreading her legs and then guiding me to her wet warmth.

Pulling away to stare into her eyes, I tuck the head of my cock into her and watch as her eyes dilate even more.

A sharp breath leaves her, and her hand falls away to rest on my arm instead.

I dip my head and pull her nipple into my mouth, relishing the feel of her arching under me and the tiny bite of her nails on my scalp and arm.

I sink in a few inches and flinch as her heat surrounds me. "Fuck, you're tight."

"Caleb," she gasps.