Page 34 of In You

Hello

Caleb

I startle awake a couple hours later to a cold room, and see it's still pitch dark outside.

A quick glance at my phone tells me it's four o'clock in the morning, and I can immediately tell Tamryn's not in bed.

I swing my legs over the side of the mattress, on an incredible emotional high after the intimacy Camilla and I just experienced, and smile, pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to go look for her.

There's a light shining through the crack in the bathroom, but she's not there, nor is she in her bedroom or any of the rooms off the hall. So I head to the living room.

Looking towards the dark archway at the end of the hall, my muscles twitch hard as my body tenses with anxiety.

I frown, wondering if she's going to be in the living room watching television. That's not like her…Could she not sleep after what we shared? Did we move too fast? My anxiety swells as I begin to berate myself for telling her I was falling in love with her.

For letting my emotions get the better of me.

If I broke her because I started a sexual relationship before she might have been ready, I'll never forgive myself.

Despite the complications of her alters, and now the appearance of her male alter, I think we can make this work.

The intimacy we shared is so strong I refuse to believe there's not a world where me and her can coexist in our trauma.

Walking through the archway I pause mid-step at the sight of the dark television, and notice the tiny lamp in the corner that's normally on a side table is set down on the floor spilling its light across the dark wood.

It's eerie, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I lower my foot to the ground and stop breathing, listening for something.

Where are my dogs?

My heart pounds. Fuck. Did she run?

Even knowing the alarms would have alerted me had she gone off in the woods, it doesn't abate my panic; my anxiety rises even more sharply, taking over my common sense and sewing seeds of doubt where I thought buds of life might be trying to bloom.

Letting my logical side take over, my eyes immediately cut to the foyer to see the front door is closed, and then I turn my head sharply to look past the living room furniture to the entrance to the kitchen where I can see the back door is closed too.

I wish I could say it calms me. A muscle ticks in my jaw, because where the fuck are my dogs?

A sudden bout of worry that she's hurt them fills me, and I give a very low whistle as I take another few silent steps into the room, straining to hear.

There's a sound coming from the kitchen, like a shuffling and a crunching noise.

They're eating.

I breathe a sigh of relief and shake my head, getting another smile on my face as I realize Tamryn has been feeding Ringo and Tink extra food like I'd thought.

I've been having to buy more cans of soft dog food than normal, but I didn't want to upset her so I haven't confronted her about it.

But if she's getting up in the middle of the night to give them an extra feeding, then I might have to.

I cup my hand to my cock as warmth spreads throughout my body at the thought of holding her against me after we lay back down. Of maybe letting her touch me again.

Hearing another crunching sound, I round into the dark kitchen and chuckle.

"Hey you guys," I say playfully. "Why're you in the dark?" I turn on the little lights under the cabinet and freeze, my eyes going wide.

Tamryn's on her hands and knees with her head lowered into Tink's dog bowl, eating out of it.

Naked.

My heart stops as I sink to my haunches, covering my hand over my mouth.

I don't make a sound. My eyes leave her to see Ringo and Tink laying completely flat on the floor nearby, tails not wagging, facing her.

Not even acknowledging my presence, and neither does she.

All the prior emotions I was just feeling; lust, happiness, contentment, it all fades away to nothing.

Replaced by fear, pity, nausea, and something like desperation.

My hands tremble as I lower my head into them and take a deep breath, trying to get a handle on my emotions.

When I think I'm ready, I sink to my ass, lean my back against the dishwasher, and stretch out a foot, nudging hers.

Tamryn flinches and turns, holding her fingers to her mouth as she looks over her shoulder, her curls falling into her face.

My soul screams when her eyes lock with mine.

They're vacant as she peeks through the gap in them. It's creepy, not going to lie.

"Hi," she says in an obviously young, trembling voice. My heart thumps hard once before beating slightly faster.

"Hi," I say back thickly. My eyes well up with tears because I instinctively know this isn't Tamryn or Camilla. "What's your name?" I try to smile, God knows I do, but I don't know what the hell I'm dealing with here, and to say I'm slightly terrified is an understatement.

I've never had even one kill that made me feel this bone deep chill that's currently making me shiver from the inside out. Not even my very first kill. Who was my mother.

My stomach rolls as I see the soft dog food smeared on her chin with one piece of hard food stuck there, hanging off her lip.

I feel the breath leave me in a rush, and I clench my fist, fighting the urge to reach for her.

This alter doesn't know me. I have not a fucking clue what I'm dealing with, but I know it's not a good idea to try and touch her right now.

"Cunty," she says, driving a knife straight into my heart. "What's your name?"

.…Oh. My. God.

A hot breath exhales out my nose and then, very quietly I ask, "How old are you?"

"I'm seven," she says with a little smile. "Where's Mr. Calvin?” Her hands rub up and down her thighs, and her eyes flicker towards the doorway of the kitchen as if she’s nervous. “ Are you my daddy?"

I stand back up, unlock the back door and then stumble outside, vomiting over the railing.

Lowering my head on a choked gasp, I groan as I flashback to the night I found her. Remembering being so relieved that I didn't find a kid there, but also being confused at the dog bowl and water bowl on the floor, along with dog toys, but there was no dog.

There was no dog because she was the pet.

She was the child.

Raising my head, my fingers dig into the wood, turning my knuckles white as every nerve ending in my body comes alive.

I see red. Becoming so angry that I wish I could dig that man up and kill him all over again.

My skin crawls as memories of my own abuse swim to the surface, taunting me further as I begin to imagine her going through all sorts of unspeakable shit.

Feeling lightheaded, I turn my head and spit; drawing on every fucking lesson about control that Frank Jackson taught me, every ounce of strength I've amassed in my adulthood, and all the times I could tolerate my sister rocking me in the middle of the night when I was first adopted, and look at the sky.

"I haven't asked for a single thing from you. Ever. But if you don't give me the goddamn strength to go in there and figure this shit out, when I die, I'm coming after you." Then I turn, heading back inside.

First thing I notice is she finished the food and put a little scoop of dried dog food in the bowl, and is reaching for another can of soft food.

Not even caring about how she might flinch or be scared, I walk to her with purpose and take the can out of her hand, putting it back in the cabinet. I rip off my t-shirt next, pulling it over her head so she's not naked anymore.

When I'm done, I grab a mortar and pestle along with two of her sleeping pills and sit back on the floor, staying silent as I try to gather my thoughts and emotions.

I toss them in, beginning to grind them into a fine powder.

Another loud crunch sounds out, and my mouth pulls down at the corner as I fight being sick again, though there's nothing else to throw up.

"I'm still hungry," she whines.

Looking over, I'm proud of myself for managing to give her a very small smile. "I know," I say. "And I'm making you a treat. Do you want an ice cream, sweet-" I immediately cut myself off. Calling her sweetheart feels wrong right now. "Cun-" I snap my mouth shut, looking away on a grunt.

That's fucked up.

Nope. Not doing it.

I take another deep breath and force myself to smile again. "Would you like ice cream?" I look down at the pills, satisfied it's in a fine enough powder, and then when I look back up, I freeze again as I see her reaching between her legs.

I stare in complete shock, transfixed as she very obviously is shoving hard pieces of dog food inside of her vagina.

My throat works on a hard swallow that I'm surprised doesn't choke me clean out of here. I can't let it. What the ever loving fuck would this woman do if I died right now?

The pestle audibly clanks against the mortar I'm shaking so hard.

"Don't do that," I whisper hoarsely, feeling desperate as she blatantly ignores me. "Hey." I snap my fingers. Nothing. "Hey, Cun…Cun… Cunty," I call trying to get her attention, feeling sick to my soul when she brings her eyes to mine. "Why are you doing that?"

Oh, God. Why are you doing that? I think, fighting the urge to rock myself.

She licks her lips, speaking in that little girl voice that I'm probably going to hear in my goddamn nightmares along with everything else I have to suffer through. "Because Mr. Calvin said when he got back with my daddy, that he wants to watch him eat this out of my girlfriend."

The mortar thumps to the tile floor as my brain breaks.