Page 130 of Hate You Up Close

“Forget about it,” I clip. “And forget about this entire arrangement. It’s already humiliating enough to just be your fuck buddy. But I won’t be your fuck buddy on top of you dating other women. I refuse to stoop that low.”

“Humiliating?” he replies in shock, his head snapping back up. “Roxanne, you were the one who pushed for this so-called ‘arrangement’.”

“Andyouwere the one who pushed for monogamy,” I shout, not caring who hears me. “Were you not?”

“This is different, and you know it,” he exhales, brows knitted together like he’spleading.

“It doesn't matter,” I shake my head. “Because whatever this fucked up ‘arrangement’ is, it’s now over between us. Date whoever you want, Elliot.”

Needing a moment alone, I toss my napkin down and stand from the table.

I don’t make it one step before Elliot’s hand circles my wrist. He pulls me back until my ass plops down on his lap.

Wrapping a possessive arm around my waist, he cups my jaw with his free hand.

“Stop being so dramatic, Rox,” he rasps softly. “You didn't even let us finish the conversation before you stormed off.”

My eyes dart between his. They look more golden today.

“Because I already know the outcome, Elliot,” I whisper.

“Do you?” he mutters, arching a brow. “Because I’m askingyouto be my date. I’m not fucking losing you over something as silly as this. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Why do you do this?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper. “Act like you don’t want me one second, and then get all possessive and territorial the next? You’re going to have to pick a side at some point, Elliot. I won’t wait for you forever.”

He swallows thickly, his face full of emotion.

“I always want you, Roxanne,” he croaks. “Always. But one day, you’ll be thankful that I saved you from my shit show of a life.”

“I don’t want to be saved, Elliot,” I shake my head. “Life isn't perfect. It’s supposed to be a shit show, a mixture of fucked up and beautiful. Life is meant to be shared, the good and the bad. That’s what living is about. Knowing who will stick by your side through the highs and lows.”

He presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes. He’s struggling. Hereallyrefuses to let himself be happy.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Rox,” he whispers against my lips. “Not onmy birthday.”

“You’re deflecting,” I mutter.

“I know,” he nods. “And that’s not fair. But this is the best birthday I’ve had since I was a kid. You’re the only person I’ve wanted to celebrate my birthday with since I was sixteen years old. I just…I want to enjoy one birthday. I want to be with you, Rox. You make my heart happy.”

You make my heart happy.

Five simple words that flip my world upside down.

“Okay,” I whisper, gently pressing my lips to his.

“But this conversation isn't over,” I add, pulling back.

“I know,” he adds, going in for another kiss.

He parts my lips with his tongue and kisses me slow and soft. His tongue feels like velvet rubbing against mine as our bodies speak for themselves. I reach for him, tangling my hands in his hair as he angles his head to deepen our kiss. We kiss like that for minutes, like two starving lovers in the middle of an arcade restaurant.

Elliot gently sucks on my bottom lip before pressing his forehead and nose against mine.

“I know I can’t give you much,” he mumbles against my lips. “But I need you to know that there’s never been anybody like you. You mean so much to me, Roxanne. I’ve made a lot of empty promises in my life, but Ineverwant to do that with you. And the thought of hurting you…It fucking kills me. That’s why I didn’t ask you to come to the wedding shower with me. But selfishly, you were the first person who came to mind when Everett told me I could bring a guest. You, Rox. Not anyone else.”

I promise to never leave you. No matter how hard you push me away. I will fight for you. That’s my promise to you.

“You have no idea how much you mean to me,” I croak, my lips brushing his with every word.