Page 104 of Hate You Up Close

“We got the deal,” I say, flashing her a wide grin. “Thomas signed this afternoon.”

“What!” she gasps as her brows shoot up.

“Yup,” I nod. “We got it.”

“Shut up!” she shouts excitedly, chuckling and slapping a hand down on the table. “You’re kidding me, right?

“I’m dead fucking serious,” I beam. “Ace Financial is now the official bank of Walton Hotels.”

“Oh my God,” she squeals, unable to contain her elation. “I for sure thought Thomas was going to cancel after the way you questioned him last night.”

“Eh, I knew he would come around,” I shrug. “We were offering him a deal that he couldn't pass up. Besides, no one can resist my charm.” I wink sarcastically.

I don’t think she hears my joke because before I can blink, she’s throwing her arms around my neck and almost jumping into my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist, hugging her back and burying my nose into her silky hair while inhaling her sweet scent.

God, I could never get enough of this woman.

Roxanne pulls back slowly before sliding her palms up to my jaw and cupping my face between her small hands. She smiles softly before pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek. Admiration shines in her eyes. I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me like this…Like I’m the reason their heart is beating. Well fuck, if that isn’t the best, yet most terrifying feeling in the world.

“I’m proud of you, Elliot,” she rasps as her emerald eyes flicker between mine.

When she says the wordproud, her perfect lips pucker like the sweetest kiss.

“And not just for securing the deal,” she adds. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

She’s still holding my face between her precious hands, her eyes searching mine.

“Rox–” I stammer, prepared to deflect the conversation because I’m shit at sentimental conversations. Besides, I don’t deserve her kind words.

“I’m proud ofyou,” she repeats, brushing her thumbs along my cheeks. “And I don’t think you hear that enough, do you?”

“Roxanne, why are you saying this–”

“Because someone needs to tell you,” she interrupts. “You work incredibly hard. Harder than anyone I know. You act like you don’t care about people when you care deeply for the people that you love. You don’t even allow yourself to have relationships because you care about peoplesomuch. You fight every day while battling the hell you choose to keep inside. And that’s fucking hard, Elliot. Choosing to keep going every day, even when you feel so alone is the hardest, most brave thing a person can do.”

Water stings the backs of my eyes as she takes a shaky breath before continuing.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m proud of the man that you are,” she whispers. “I get to see a side of you that most people don’t, and I’m so thankful for that.”

I want to do so many things at this very moment.

I want to cry like a little girl because no one, and I mean no one, has ever shown me the kind of grace that Roxanne does. No one has ever serenaded me with words in the way that she does.

I want to get down on my knee right now and ask her to marry me because, for her, I would try my best to not fuck up again. I would want to be good…Be a better person for her. I would refuse to fuck up again, if it meant that I could marry her, have her, and keep her forever.

My biggest fear has always been children. It was a fight that I had with Skylar multiple times. She wanted kids, and I didn’t. Becoming a dad and passing on my shitty genes isn’t high on my bucket list. But if Roxanne wanted to make babies and a life with me, I would give her all the babies in the world.

Fuck,just the thought of Roxanne walking around with aswollen belly, our baby growing inside of her, makes my heart damn near jump out of my chest.

I’ve never wanted kids and a future. I’ve never wanted anything outside of my career.

Roxanne makes me desire things that I promised myself I would never have…things such as happiness. An emotion that people allow themselves to feel on a daily basis, except me.

This is also why I want to bend Roxanne over this table and fuck her until she breaks, punish her for seeing the good in a man who has no good left in him. On the contrary, I want to worship her body…Make sweet, slow love to her for seeing the good in a man who gave up on himself years ago.

I want nothing more than to kiss her gorgeous face, so I do.

I tangle my hands in her silky hair and crash my mouth against hers.