Page 113 of Hate You Up Close

“What?” I ask.

“Do you know why I hate having you as my assistant, Roxanne?”

“Because I don’t put up with your shit like everyone else does?”

“No,” he lowers his voice. “It’s because every time you walk into my office, I want to bend you over my desk and make you mine. It’s like a fucking battlefield trying to stay away from you at work. That is why I hate having you as my assistant. Because I can’t get enough of you, Roxanne.”

Because I can’t get enough of you, Roxanne.

You know that feeling when you’re riding a roller coasterand it suddenly plummets down the first big hill? The feeling when your stomach drops to your ass and your heart pumps a million miles a minute? Yeah, that’s me right now.

I inhale a deep breath, trying to keep my cool. Elliot doesn't need to know that my stomach is doing somersaults and my heart is flipping and flopping around in my chest.

“Then don’t,” I rasp. “You don’t have to stay away. We can see each other in the evenings or on the weekends. No one has to know but us. And in case you haven't noticed, I’m not much of a relationship girl either.”

“Oh really?” he smirks, arching a brow. “What would you say if I asked you to be my girlfriend? Right here and right now?”

Die. Throw up. Say yes. And then suck your dick.

“I would say no,” I roll my eyes.

“Why?” he asks, brows furrowed.

“Well, for one, a couple of nights of good sex doesn't mean shit to me. Relationships are more than purely physical. And secondly, you’ve made it crystal clear that you aren't interested in a relationship. And three, I’m not desperate. I’m not going to beg to have you.”

Really, Roxy?The voice in my head chimes.You would get on your knees and crawl if this man asked you.

“You don’t beg, huh?” he arches a brow, dipping his head to tug my bottom lip between his teeth.

I try not to moan as I pull away.

“So, are you agreeing to this situation or not?” I ask.

“And what situation is this?” he laughs playfully. “An assistant with benefits?”

“Whatever you want it to be,” I smirk, trying to think of a witty response. “As long as you fuck me like you did last night.”

A smile cracks across his face before we both belly laugh.

A beat of silence passes before Elliot exhales, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his face turns serious.

“Fuck, Rox,” he mutters. “We can’t. You…There’s so much you don’t know about me. I can’t, I refuse to get you tangled up in my fucked up life.”

I want to pull my hair out at his response.Why does he hate himself so much?

I sigh, tired of arguing with him. I’m starting to feel like I’m begging, which is something I refuse to do. So instead of pushing him further, I pull away and slide off the bed.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I clip. “I don’t want to betangledup with someone who doesn't trust me, even if it’s just sex. And it’s clear that honesty and trust is something that we don’t have.”

Elliot shakes his head, reaching for me. I take another step back.

“So, I agree,” I nod. “This isn't a good idea. I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll be ready in twenty.”

I turn my back, naked as the day I was born, and walk towards the bathroom.

I barely make it to the door before a hard body presses against my back. Elliot spins me around and places his arms on either side of my head, his naked body caging me in against the wall.

His eyes bounce between mine with so much emotion before he finally speaks.