Page 112 of Hate You Up Close

“What’s going on between us, Elliot?” I ask. “I mean…Are we supposed to go back to the office tomorrow and act like nothing happened this weekend?”

He swallows thickly.

“Is that what you want?”

No.

“I asked you the question first,” I retort.

“What doyouwant, Roxanne?” he repeats.

“Stop answering my questions with questions, Elliot,” I roll my eyes. “Answer me first.”

He exhales loudly, thumping his head back against the headboard and running a hand through his messy hair.

I hate the way his tan skin stretches over his abs with the movement. That isnotwhat I need to be thinking about right now.

“I’m not a relationship guy, Rox,” he mutters. “You know that. I’ve always been clear about that.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“You’re so full of yourself,” I scoff. “I’m not asking to be your wife. But what we did…Elliot, the past couple of nights felt like a lot more than just a fun time. And I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Emotions dance in his eyes, shadowing his golden irises with defeat, regret, and remorse.

“Roxanne,” he croaks my name like it physically pains him. “You don’t understand. I fuck up everything I touch.”

“That’s not true,” I shake my head. “You may have messed up a few times in your life, but who hasn't? Your life doesn't have to be over because of one mistake. I mean, look at your career. Look at how successful you are. You’ve worked hard and created a great life for yourself, Elliot.”

He scoffs under his breath, like it’s humorous that I’m giving him a compliment.

“That’s because my career is the one thing I have complete control over,” he replies. “A career isn't a living, breathing thing. You are, Roxanne. You are. And if I lost you…If I were to ruin you...”

He trails off, his voice cracking slightly.

“Then that’s a chance I’m willing to take,” I respond without hesitation. “I’m a grown woman. I can make decisions for myself.”

His brows knit together as he slowly turns his gaze on me.

“What are you saying?” he breathes out.

“You think you’re going to ruin me? Then fine, I’ll take that chance,” I stand my ground. “But I don’t want to go back to acting like co-workers. Like this is nothing but a professional relationship when we both know that it’s not. We’ve been fighting this attraction for months, and it felt so fucking good to finally give in. I’m just…I’m tired of fighting it.”

Sadness fills the lines of his beautiful face as he lifts a hand and cups my jaw, brushing his thumb along my cheek.

“Rox,” he exhales. “You could lose your job. I could lose my job. I’m your boss for Christ's sake. We can’t do this, even if I thought I could give you what you want.”

“We can't do what?” I argue. “See each other after hours? Have sex in our free time like normal adults? We’re both attracted to each other, and now we know that the sex is great. That’s all it has to be between us. It will put us out of our misery until I move to a new city or I don’t know…find another job.”

The second half of what I just said was a lie. A complete lie. Because I don’t want to move or just have casual sex with him. But if that’s what I need to say in the moment to keep him and to make him see that he deserves this, then I’ll lie through my teeth.

“Find another job?” he clips in a sharp tone. “Are you looking for something else?”

“No,” I shake my head. “But I can’t work for you forever, Elliot. Plus, you’ve made it abundantly clear that you hate having me as your assistant.”

He narrows his eyes, staring through my soul.

“You have no idea, do you?” he chuckles, shaking his head.