Page 53 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

Once again, it’s not surprising that Buck was into something stupid, but I feel a trickle of sadness anyway because somewhere along the way, my parents took a sweet, happy boy and turned him into a monster.

“And you?” I ask, searching his eyes.

Buck was not a nice human being, and, in the end, he got what he deserved, although I wish it hadn’t been Dirk who contributed to his death.

“I ran into him that night. Fucked him up but he was alive when I left,” he says. “Later, when I heard he was basically comatose, I assumed it was me. I’m sorry, baby, for hurting you.”

Am I hurt by his actions? I don’t fucking know. At this point, I’m just confused but beyond that is the hope still fluttering like a newly formed butterfly’s wing.

That’s what I choose to focus on.

“Why?” I ask, tapping his chin when he looks away. “What happened and why wouldn’t anyone tell me what the hell was going on after you turned yourself in?”

“Does it matter?” he mutters, and I place my palms against his chest, splaying them wide so I can feel the slow thrum of his heart beneath my fingers.

“I don’t know,” I say. “Does it?”

As usual, I have no idea what he’s thinking but my body doesn’t care and I lean in when he lowers his mouth to mine and says, “I blocked you from knowing shit because I knew it would look bad for you. I had no idea there was video evidence that I dropped you off.”

He shakes his head at that, and I say, “You ran off before we could talk about anything. That’s your fucking problem. Not mine.”

My heart thumps when his lips curl into a smirk and he says, “You’re so fucking hot when you’re sassy.”

“Quit trying to distract me,” I mumble although I can’t help but to smile.

He’s here. He came to me once he was freed. That has to mean something. Right?

However, he’s still being way too damn mysterious. Where was he for a month?

“Where have you been?” I ask and this is when he averts his gaze, his jaw ticking.

“I can’t tell,” he says and my stomach clenches.

“Why?” I whisper.

Haven’t we already faced the worst possible things that could happen between us? I mean, I’m forgiving him for beating up my brother who died after succumbing to his injuries, for fucks sake.

Unless this isn’t about me at all. Oh shit.

What if it’s about…

“Stacey?”

“Huh?” Dirk says his brows furrowing.

He seems confused but once again, I don’t know what’s going through that gorgeous head of blonde hair. He’s always been able to hold back from me and that’s a fucking problem.

Turning away, I stare at the door while I process my thoughts. I love him. I do but can I settle for anything less in return?

Maybe that makes me the ultimate hypocrite because I hate Stacey for choosing her life over him and now, I’m considering the same but it’s not about who he is but what he will do with the gift of my heart.

“Lauren?” he says before wrapping his arms around me from behind.

“Yeah?” I whisper, my chest clenching when he drops his chin to my shoulder.

“What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”

Choking back a hysterical laugh, I wave my hand through the air and mutter, “Why don’t you tell me ?”

If he can’t admit how he feels, is there a way forward?

“Tell you what?” he says, pulling me around and raising my chin. “Why are we talking about Stacey?”

Once again, I see his confusion but come on, clearly, she’s the reason why he’s been pushing me away for years.

“Dirk,” I say. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” he asks, pecking me on the mouth.

Although sweet, I’m frustrated by his clear avoidance and mutter, “She broke your heart.”

When his eyes widen and he laughs, I slap his chest and say, “It’s not funny.”

“Baby girl,” he says, cupping my cheeks. “Stacey didn’t break my heart.”

“Oh,” I say sourly. “Really? You were going to run away with her, Dirk.”

“You’re right,” he says, and my stomach turns to stone. “We were going to run away but that was for the baby. Lauren, I was sixteen years old. I was scared. We were scared. I didn’t even know what love was.”

“Yeah?” I ask, searching his deep, dark eyes and his mouth quirks.

“Yeah, baby girl.”

My soul melts at that and I move to my tiptoes, meeting his mouth as it drops to mine. Our lips collide in a mash of need as he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist.

“I missed you,” he rasps, grinding against me.

“Please,” I moan, and with a dirty smirk, he takes my lips in another scorching kiss.

Enflamed, I squirm against him as he stalks into the adjoining room and drops me on the mattress.

“Are you wet, baby girl?” he rasps, and I pull my dress to my waist before spreading my legs.

“Fuck,” he groans and a thrill rushes through me when his nostrils flare and he dips his finger beneath the lace of my panties.

“Dirk,” I whimper.

“Fuck, I can’t wait,” he says, and I nod, grabbing for his pants.

“You need this, baby?”

“Yes, now,” I demand, and when he chuckles, I pause at the husky sound.

When have we ever come together like this? There’s no anger between us. We’re not fucking like it’s the last time.

This is the beginning and it’s so much sweeter.

“Baby?” he rasps, and I meet his gaze as he wrenches my panties aside and slowly presses into me. “Have I ever told you how perfect you are?”

When I shake my head, he grabs my chin, his strokes achingly slow and says, “I dream about this body, baby girl. Dream .”

“Yeah?” I ask and he nods, his eyes dropping to the pulse in my neck.

“Yeah,” he groans before sucking the throbbing vein between his teeth.

“Y-Yes,” I cry, arching against him as he resumes his thrusts.

“D-Dirk,” I moan.

“Hm?”

“I-I love you,” I breathe, only to falter when he leans back his eyes wide.

Oh shit. Um…too soon?

My cheeks heat and I attempt to slide away but he’s not having it and after pulling out of me, he moves farther up the bed until he’s leaning against the headboard before holding out his arms.

“C’mere,” he says.

In a daze, I follow, my pulse stuttering when he picks me up before assisting me onto his lap where I slide back down his dick and start to buck up and down.

Although still utterly humiliated, the painful sting in my cheeks fades when he cups them and says, “Say it again.”

Oh fuck no. I’m not going down that road again but when I shake my head, he bites my bottom lip and growls, “Say it again, Lauren.”

“Fine,” I groan, grabbing his hair and wrenching him forward. Once our lips are touching, I mumble, “I love you.”

His fingers spasm against my skin before he drops his hands to my hips and bucks into me. The desperation behind his thrusts sends heat through my core but it’s the light behind his eyes that warms my chest.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Touch yourself, baby.”

Eager to comply, I twirl my clit between my fingers as the pleasure builds within me until I cry out and convulse around him.

As soon as I tip over the edge, he pushes me to my back and pumps into me heavily.

When his deep, dark eyes meet mine, I wrap my legs around his waist and meet his hips as he sinks deep.

“You see how much I need you?” he groans, and I nod. “This is it, baby girl. For-fucking-ever.”

“Yes,” I cry as I come again, the raw brilliance of his pleasure, chasing mine.