Page 29 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

NOW

Lauren

I haven’t heard from my mom since yesterday and although I’m not sure I’m up for another soulless conversation, I think she should know about my meeting with the detective.

I’m guessing they bypassed her altogether because I hit my eighteenth birthday and now, they don’t have to ask for permission.

What am I going to do?

Unfortunately, I’m completely fucking numb and this is how I end up at Colt and Finn’s wedding, trying to pretend that I’m not falling apart.

Finn looks radiant in a cream-colored gown with antique lace. The dress hugs her curves, highlighting her beauty with its simple elegance.

Despite everything, I am happy for her but any semblance of joy I’ve managed to muster sours when Kayla appears at the threshold to the hall where the ceremony will be taking place.

She zeroes in on me immediately, her narrow-eyed gaze indicating her displeasure.

Yeah, it’s probably suspicious that Dirk left with me, but she needs to take that up with her boyfriend.

It’s not my fucking problem.

This is the last place that I want a confrontation, but I brace for it anyway when she stalks toward me in a brilliant red dress that shows all of her assets and hisses, “Back the fuck off.”

If it were anyone else, I’d probably blow them off and walk away but Kayla’s not anyone else. She’s the woman who may steal Dirk away and maybe he was never mine but that doesn’t mean I want him to be hers , which is why I spit, “Fuck you.”

When her lips curve into a smile, I wish that the ugly words spewing from her lips detracted from her beauty but no such luck. She’s gorgeous, regardless.

“Rich or not,” she says, looking me up and down. “You’re just a lost little bitch wishing that mommy loved her more than she does her money.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” I sputter, stepping into her face.

I don’t know what rock she crawled out from under, but I won’t take this shit lying down. Rich bitch or not, I’m still gonna kick her ass…

She bobs her head again and I laugh as Finn approaches with Ramie behind her. I need to stop this right now, but I can’t control Kayla and apparently, she’s on a fucking roll.

“I know your type,” she sneers. “I’ve dealt with you my whole life. Newsflash, bitch, you are just as pathetic as you think in your stupid head.”

“You don’t even know me,” I hiss, slamming my hand on my hip.

“No but Dirk does,” she says with a smirk, and I raise my fist.

What the fuck does that mean? Is she repeating his words? Way fucking harsh.

She’d look good with matching black fucking eyes I decide before Finn steps between us and says, “Stop!”

We glare at each other over her shoulder before Kayla sneers, “You think your pathetic ass can bag a guy like Dirk? He doesn’t want your brand of stupid when he can’t even get his hands dirty.”

My dirty little doll.

The words bounce around in my head as I meet Finn’s wide eyes and say, “Oh?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Why do you think he brought me? So, you’ll lay off his ass.”

The words hit as intended but I merely shrug because I won’t give her the satisfaction of seeing my hurt. Finn has no such compunction though and when she steps into Kayla, I grab her arm and shake my head.

She meets my gaze, fire in her eyes and I smile because for once I feel like I have people at my back.

Too bad Dirk isn’t one of them.

The venue is small but covered in lush cream-colored flowers with a bower at the front where Colt is standing when I enter.

He looks quite handsome in a dark suit with cream tie, I note before I skip over Dirk, my lungs burning and take in a smiling, dark but gorgeous Hayden.

While I do everything to avoid looking at Dirk, Kayla appears, stalking down the aisle presumably to kiss him.

Thankfully, Dad appears to usher me to the front, where I sit uneasily while Colt escorts his mom down the aisle and returns to the bower.

Kayla, to my dismay, sits beside me as a few people trickle in, some of whom I recognize from parties but none who I know well enough to greet.

Although Kayla may have taken great pleasure in delivering the message earlier, it’s Dirk who planted her there for the sole purpose of keeping me at bay and I do believe her because what have I done since I met him but push him to see me…want me?

With the exception of the few nights, we came together, he’s been honest about his feelings. I’m the one who didn’t listen.

Where does that leave me? Numb but also resolved.

Perhaps it took the stunning but bitchy redhead to get it through my own dark one and maybe it’s a blessing because I get it. Dirk’s loyalty lies with Colt and Colt will never see me as anybody but Sheila Stark’s daughter.

When Dad sits down beside me, I turn to the ceremony, my heart clenching as Ramie appears with a beautiful smile aimed solely at Hayden.

Her emerald, green dress matches her sparkling eyes as she clutches her bouquet and takes her place at the altar.

Next comes Cat with a wide if nervous grin and when Kayla shifts beside me, I grit my teeth, avoiding her gaze while we stand to watch Finn enter the room, escorted by her aunt Maggie.

Unfortunately, I miss the entirety of the ceremony because I can’t concentrate on anything but the shit swirling through my brain.

Once again, I’m battling the burn cascading through my body in waves while intellectually I wonder why the fuck I’m letting this asshole have so much power over me.

Only when cheers break out do I snap back to the event, in time to watch Colt grab his new bride by the waist and twirl her in a circle.

Tapping my foot, I wait while Dirk and Cat join arms, her adorable smile aimed at my former lover before Ramie and Hayden follow.

Celia and Dad are next and while I stand frozen, Kayla brushes past me rushing to her man.

Her man. Not mine.

With stiff limbs, I wait until everyone has left the room before collapsing back to the chair and dropping my head into my hands.

This is stupid. I’m stupid.

It’s not like Dirk was ever going to come to his senses. Why do I continue to let hope burn when Dirk stomped that flame out the first fucking time we met?

Am I a masochist or just really fucking stupid?

Whatever. Stop being a fucking baby, Lauren. You don’t need Dirk fucking Evans. You need a lobotomy.

Resolved, I push to my feet as none other than Dirk says behind me, “Hiding again?”

How long has he been standing there?

As soon as he shuts the door behind him, I mutter, “Yes, be sure to close the door. We wouldn’t want Colt to find out our dirty little secret.”

Although his brows flicker, he doesn’t comment, and despite how fucking sexy he looks in all black, I’m immune to his handsome facade as I turn away and say to the wall, “What do you want?”

“Everyone’s loading up. Let’s go.”

Really? Asshole.

The reception area is a mile down the road at a pretty little spot on the water. However, every particle of my being is telling me to skip it, which is why I was going to power through until this jerk showed up.

“No, I’m good here,” I say, ignoring the warning in his eyes.

“I’m not asking,” he says, stepping away from the wall. “Let’s go.”

“Are you for real right now?” I snap as he pulls his bow tie loose and stops before me.

Of course, his spicy cologne invades my senses. Stand strong, Lala. Stand fucking strong .

It’s not an easy task though because my knees weaken when his eyes travel over the black satin dress I chose for the day. In four-inch heels, my legs look longer. The strapless ensemble creates a snug fit for my breasts, and I particularly like the keyhole in the bodice that hints at my cleavage.

Maybe he does too because his nostrils flare on the way back up before he says, “Now.”

Every particle of my being yearns to step into his arms, but I can’t do this anymore. If this is a game, he won, and I’m fucking done.

“No,” I say, shaking my head.

“Get your ass out the door or I’ll do it for you.”

“Why?” Although I’m completely annoyed, it’s an honest question. I don’t understand why he cares whether I stay or go.

“You don’t want to be alone?” he growls, pointing at the door. “Those people are your fucking family, baby girl.”

Oh, he’s good. So much so, that I falter as I gaze blindly at the door.

Am I wrong? Was Kayla lying?

But there was so much truth to what she revealed. He’s told me over and over to back off and I never listened. Hearing Kayla spew those hurtful words felt like the ultimate betrayal, which is why I bow my head and mutter, “Let's not pretend anymore.”

It's time to rip the band aid off.

“Pretend what?” he asks, his brows twitching.

Waving my icy fingers between us, I say, “Your dirty little doll doesn’t want to play anymore, Dirk.”

The chill that pervades the room slides down my spine like ice as he rocks back on his heels, those dark eyes assessing…always freaking assessing.

My bones feel brittle as I step back. One wrong move could break them into little pieces along with my rapidly beating heart.

Unfortunately, Dirk follows his gaze boring into me and only when we’re at the wall and his chest brushes mine does he say, “That right?”

“Yep,” I say, turning my head because there’s a darkness behind his eyes that actually scares me and I’m afraid to see more when he finally, truly annihilates me.

He was right, after all. I never truly belonged in his world, but I wanted to...so badly because I’m so very fucking alone in mine.

His lip curves as he touches my cheek before trailing his thumb along my jaw and running the pad over my mouth. Despite my resolve, I’m only human and my mouth pops open of its own volition, tasting his treachery on my tongue.

“You think she’s gone…my dirty little doll,” he rasps, and I close my eyes. “ Look at me.”

The low growl sends a shiver through me, and I lock eyes with him as those dark, fathomless peepers search mine before he slides his palm around my waist and pulls me into his erection.

He’s hard, pulsing, and angry and with a whimper, I tilt my head to the wall, moaning, “Dirk.”