Page 11 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

NOW

Lauren

I’m ready to run and I’ve barely arrived when Dad approaches with a wide grin, followed by Celia.

Fuck me now.

Maybe it was a mistake to search out Dirk here because now I’ve sent a message that didn’t even occur to me. I don’t care about Colt or his wedding but that’s the exact opposite of what I’ve done by showing up at this stupid party.

“Sweetheart,” Dad says, and I mentally wince before stretching my lips into another grotesque smile.

When Celia’s brows rise and she coughs into her hand, I eye her quietly.

Is she amused? Good.

At least someone can find something to laugh about because right about now, this is achingly fucking tragic and I’m quite sure it’s only going to get worse.

“I’m so glad you’re here. How’s your mom?” Dad asks, and I consider her frail form sitting just feet from the room she tore apart before saying, “She’s fine.”

Will anything ever be normal again?

After lying through my teeth, Dad starts to ramble and I look away, meeting Dirk’s dark gaze.

His narrowed eyes meet mine but beyond the pulse of my heart telling me to let this shit go, I’ve got nothing because my life is too fucking complicated to worry about the asshole or the lush redhead by his side, or so I tell myself.

“. . . good,” Dad says, and I tune back into his conversation as he leads me toward Colt and Finn.

As soon as Colt glances up, his brows furrow and I search his gaze before giving this shit up too. He can hate me all he wants but the fact remains he was nothing but a wet dream until our father decided to make it a reality.

The outcome may suck but he’s not to blame for our parents' seriously bad choices any more than I am and sticking it out in some kind of misguided attempt to be loyal to my mother has gotten me exactly nowhere.

The woman won’t even look at me and I’ve been questioned by the cops surrounding my brother’s attack.

There’s also the matter of the blood-soaked shirt and what the hell happened that night and I simply do not have it in me to fight anymore.

I’m so fucking tired.

“We’re so glad you came, Lala,” Finn says with a bright smile, breaking me from my macabre thoughts.

“Hey, um, congratulations,” I mumble, and she slides her arm through mine.

“C’mon, I’m starving, and they just put the food out.”

The way my stomach churns, I’m not sure I can add to the mix by putting actual food in there but Finn’s immune to my dismay.

Ignoring Colt’s frown because—what’s new—I follow her to the buffet line.

My mind races as we fill up our plates before she nods to a table, and I sit beside her.

It’s quiet for a few minutes while we eat, or I push my food around before she eyes me and says, “I heard a rumor, you know.”

“Oh?” I ask stiffly. This could be any number of things but what she says next has me turning in my chair.

“About you and Dirk.”

“Did he tell you?” I blurt and she rears back, shaking her head.

“Who? Dirk? Well, no.”

Of course, he didn’t because then he would have to admit that even for a few fucking minutes, he wanted me…chose me.

With a bitter laugh, I drop my fork on the plate. I’m not fucking hungry and frankly, I’m afraid I might actually puke if I keep going.

All of which, Finn is unaware of as she says, “Look, I don’t know what happened, but I see the way he looks at you.”

I seek him out in the crowd and silently groan at the sight of him and his new girl together across the room. How long has he been dating her?

Surely, he didn’t fuck me while she was waiting for him to call or some shit. Either way, I don’t ask Finn for clarification because I’m afraid to hear the answer.

“There’s something there,” she says, tapping my hand. “The question is what you plan to do with it.”

Before I can speak or even ask what she thinks I should do about it, a loud voice booms across the room, “What up, fuckers? The party has arrived.”

Finn rolls her eyes, but a grin creeps across her face as she stands and approaches the guy pushing through the crowd and holy fucking shit, I’ve never seen such dangerous beauty before.

It’s sin wrapped up in a sexy package that would make any heart pump just a little faster.

He’s tall, dark, and handsome with amazing pecs straining a dark shirt and this is what I’m taking in as a woman with sleek dark hair, cut off at her shoulders, appears behind him.

Unfortunately, I’m pulled from my salacious thoughts when Dirk says behind me, “Careful. Look what playing on the dark side got you already?”

I hate to admit it, but his words send a chill through me, even though he can’t possibly understand the ramifications of his insinuation.

However, I merely shrug and ask, “Which is what?”

Will he admit it? That he felt something too.

My skin heats in anticipation when his brows flicker before he pulls out the chair Finn just vacated, sits beside me and mutters, “Nothing but trouble.”

I’m not sure if he’s answering the question or making a general statement. Either way, I’m not interested in the disappointment swirling in my belly and I turn back to the yummy show, as Finn’s friend pulls her in for a hug.

That lush dark hair swings around the stranger’s strong jaw and his perfect lips pull into a wicked smirk while his pretty companion joins the fray, her head tipped back in a laugh.

I’m still following him with my eyes when Dirk grabs my chin and says, “You so much as look at Franks and Ramie will kick your ass.”

“Wait,” I breathe, pulling away to study him more closely. “ That’s Hayden Franks?”

I’ve heard rumors about the man and from where I’m sitting, they all look to be true. He’s practically a living legend from his violent tendencies, whorish behavior, and sexy persona.

So far, I can say…I’m not disappointed but I note with a kernel of amusement that Dirk can’t help but insert himself into my eye fuck fest.

What a tool.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Why?” I mutter because I’m not stupid.

Here comes the judgement from a dick who couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to have your dad fuck two women, to create a life with them and ultimately chose one over the other.

“C’mon,” he says with a chuckle, “it’s Mommy who has the money. You piss her off and you lose your fancy ride, no?”

How the fuck does he know about my parent’s financial situation. Did Colt tell him?

Oh right, bro’s before ho’s and all that.

Balling my fist, I allow the imprint of my fingers on my palm to ratchet my hurt fueled rage before I sneer, “Worried about what Colt will do when he finds out that you fucked the enemy?”

For my efforts, those lush lips pull into a wry grin, and he says, “You think you’re so tough? Tell him. He knows what rich bitches like you do for fun.”

Wow. Way fucking harsh.

Ignoring the pulse in my chest, I slap his pec and say, “Ah yes, precious Colt. Whatever.”

“Not whatever,” he growls, grabbing my hand. “You think it was easy for him to watch his dad go home to your bitch mother every night?”

Dumbfounded, I pause, searching his dark eyes, which sidenote give me fucking nothing before saying, “Am I supposed to feel bad that my dad came home ? Are you for real right now?”

I feel a flicker of something when he pinches the bridge of his nose before it falls flat when he says, “Colt’s my bro. Those people have suffered enough. Don’t fucking ruin it, Lauren.”

At his words, tingles break out across my limbs, converging in my chest where I suck in a breath and shiver at the icy cold feeling. It takes every particle of my being, but I don’t react beyond grabbing his hand when he goes to stand.

Although pride wants me to slap his fucking face, common sense tells me to do what I came here for and find answers. I can wallow in my misery later when I’m fucking alone…again.

Get it together, Lala. Get if fucking together.

“Dirk,” I say through my teeth. “I need to ask you something. About that night…”

His dark eyes drop to my fingers wrapped around his hand before he says, “What night?”

Huh? For a moment, all I can do is stare at him blankly before it occurs to me that what happened doesn’t live rent free in his head, like mine.

Does he even know that Buck was attacked? Would he care?

Shaking my head of the dark thoughts because of course he doesn’t care about my brother, they were mortal enemies, I say, “The last time I saw you, at a party.”

His brows flicker and he waves at that red-headed bitch across the room before saying, “When was that?”

This is when I lose the battle and look away. When?

He doesn’t remember the last time we came together. How the fuck do I process that bag of steaming, putrid shit?

“Well?” Dirk mutters and I meet his gaze.

Those fathomless dark eyes widen and narrow before he looks away, his jaw ticking and when I follow his gaze to where Colt stands staring between us with a frown, I silently sigh and stand before walking the fuck away.

Somehow, I make it to my dad’s side, although I feel like I’m walking through a shrinking tunnel as I say, “I have to go.”

“Sweetheart, you just got–”

“I know, Dad,” I interject. “It’s something to do with Mom. I’ll call you.”

When did it become so easy to lie? I don’t know but as my eyes are once again drawn to Dirk, where he’s frowning at me across the room, I acknowledge that it doesn’t matter.

Maybe I’m more like my father than I thought possible. I just hope that it serves me well in the coming weeks because god knows what’s coming for me.

“Lala,” Dad says, while I watch Dirk slide his arm around the bitch’s slim waist. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” I say woodenly.

I’m out the door before he can respond and once in my car, I rest my head against the steering wheel.

Would it be bad to just get on the highway and keep going?