Page 22 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

NOW

Lauren

As soon as I step inside, I find Mom sitting on the couch across from the two detectives who shook me down over the deleted text messages not so long ago.

The older guy with the hardened gaze looks up when I enter and says, “Miss Stark, we have a few questions for you.”

With a trickle of unease, I sit beside my mom while she stares into the distance and clasp my icy hands together.

Is this it? Should I lie or tell the truth?

“You’re familiar with Aimee Holmes, Miss Stark?” the other detective says, and I eye her with a frown before slowly nodding.

“Okay, when was the last time you saw her?” the detective asks.

“Um.” Rubbing my brow, I try to remember but Aimee almost never came to the house, and we weren’t exactly friendly.

Buck didn’t bring his girlfriend’s home and so, more often than not, I learned of their existence and the breakup through school gossip.

“Maybe at school,” I say and the detective glances at his partner.

“Did you see her the night of the incident?”

When Mom shifts beside me, I glance at her sideways but she’s still glaring at the wall and I mumble, “No, we didn’t hang out.”

“Miss Stark,” the first detective says. “It’s important that we retrace the events of that night. Time is of the essence if we want to find Aimee.”

I’ve been racking my brain for weeks. I don’t fucking know, all of which I don’t say, instead, whispering, "She's still missing?”

When the detective nods, I sag to the couch. If something happened to Aimee, then there’s no way I was involved. Right?

I mean, why would I hurt some girl I barely knew? And how could I possibly subdue them both?

It doesn’t make sense and turning to my mom, I ask, “Did you know?”

Of course, she ignores my question and says, stiffly, “Is that all?”

“No,” the detective says, glancing at the notepad in his hand, “we traced her movements through cell phone data the night she went missing. She was here for approximately three hours.”

She was? Why?

My heart sinks at the notion because if she was here that means Buck was too. Is it possible I did something and then they left? But why? How?

“Are you sure neither of you saw Aimee?” the first detective asks.

“I told you, I was at work,” Mom snaps and he raises a brow.

“At nine o’clock at night?”

“I run an entire company,” she sneers. “I don’t get time off like other people do.”

When the detective turns to me, I shake my head and whisper, “I was at a party.”

The questions continue until I’m dizzy with dread before they finally leave, Mom’s parting shot causing the lead detective to stiffen when she says, “Call me when you’ve figured out who murdered my son.”

Once they’re gone, I turn to Mom while she glares at the wall and say, “Mom?”

When she pushes to her feet, I follow, asking, “Mom? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Lauren,” she spits. “Maybe you should search your spotty memory.”

Mom disappears after the detectives leave and I race up to my room before entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

With Aimee still missing this just got way more complicated but I can’t imagine how I could have been mixed up with Buck’s death and Aimee’s disappearance.

Still, I pull out the bloody shirt and stuff it in a bag before placing it in my purse and heading for my car.

I have to get rid of this shit before something happens. It was stupid to hide it in my bathroom as it is. The question is, what do I do with it now?

However, after an hour of driving around aimlessly, I end up at my dad’s house.

Why? I suppose if I have to give an honest answer it's because I can’t bear to look into my mother’s icy eyes and hear her cruelty again.

I’m tired. Sue me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find a place to stash the shirt and now I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t burn it. But where?

I’ve seen enough crime shows to know that people always miss the obvious and it would be just my luck to go to all the trouble only for the police to find like a shred of ash that somehow leads back to DNA and me.

Ugh.

It’s late, though and I’m staring at the front door before I fumble with the lock only to jump and spin when Cat appears behind me and hisses, “What are you doing?”

Turning, I eye her siren red faux leather dress and matching heels with a frown before saying, “What are you doing?”

Rolling her eyes, she brushes me aside and mumbles, “Shh, or you’ll wake up Mom and Dad.”

“Okay,” I mumble, mentally cringing at the joining of those two words as I follow her inside before closing the door.

“Night,” she says.

She’s gone before I can respond and bewildered, I stare at the stairs. I guess it shouldn’t be weird to leave me alone here, but I still feel like a guest, and it is dammit.

“Fuck me,” I mutter but before I can escape to my room, of course because fuck my life, Colt appears with a satisfied smirk painting his face.

What is he doing here? Christmas is fucking over.

Go home. Dick.

I wasn’t counting on seeing Colt so soon or I would have gone to my mom’s house, and I’m caught off guard, exhausted, cranky, and quasi-hysterical which is why I ball my fingers into a fist, and growl, “What?”

“Nothing,” he says with a cocky shrug, and I snort.

Nothing. Right.

I guess I’m not even worthy of his fucking censure. Way to nail it home, dick.

“Whatever,” I growl, and he pushes past me.

“Fucking psycho,” he grumbles before stepping down the stairs to the basement.

As soon as he’s gone, I lock eyes with Dirk and when he raises a brow, my heart skips a beat, like it always has for the fucker before he says, “You just can’t get retract those claws. Can you?”

Backing away, I look back at the stairs and say, “If I don’t fight back, do I even exist for you people?”

He cocks his head, and I drop my chin when he mutters, “That’s just fucking sad. C’mon.”

When he waves toward the basement door, I shake my head. He’s lost his fucking mind if he thinks I’m going to hang out with them.

However, I’m also forestalled by those rock-hard biceps practically in my face when he rasps, “What’s the matter, baby? You can’t handle the heat?”

“Ha-fucking-ha,” I mutter, moving to step around him but he grabs my arm.

“Why are you acting so fucking weird?”

I have zero intention of admitting all the shit rolling around in my head. Instead, I pull away and say, “Nothing. Don’t fucking touch me.”

Although he lets me go, he snickers as I back away, “You sure about that? If I recall, you were begging for it.”

Really? That’s where he wants to go?

Fine…I can play too. Fucker.

Pulling up a smarmy smile, I tap my chin and say, “I was drunk. I don’t remember half of it. You could have been my fucking ex, and I would have begged.”

I feel a beat of victory when the cocky grin fades before he leans in until our lips are almost touching and says, “Then why were you screaming my name?”

“Was I? I guess I don’t remember,” I say, shrugging for good measure, although, thankfully, it also conceals the shiver rolling down my spine.

His eyes narrow as he searches my gaze before he waves to the door and says, “Whatever. You wanna pretend, my dirty little doll, I’ll bite…for now. But you still need to get your ass down there.”

Liquid. Heat.

It flows through my veins like molten lava, and it takes me a moment to erase all images of him speaking the wicked nickname while doing unspeakably amazing things to my body, to realize what he just said.

Following his finger, pointing down the stairs, I say, “Yeah…no.”

“Coward.”

Why I don’t wave my middle finger in his face and just go, I don’t know but I stomp down the stairs like a total brat, muttering, “Why are you here, anyway?”

“Your parents didn’t want us to drink and drive.”

They’re not my fucking parents , I snarl in my head, as Colt looks up and his eyes harden.

Oh ho, he doesn’t want me here. Too bad because his fiancée does, crying, “Lala!”

I raise my brows when she wraps her arms around me before leading me toward the sofa where Ramie slurs, “Come. Have a drink.”

Kayla, I note is suspiciously absent but before I can ask, not that I would, Finn says in my ear, in a really loud fucking voice, “Family only for goodbyes.”

Family…refusing to acknowledge the pinch in my chest, I mumble, “I thought you were only going to be gone a week?”

Snorting, she punches me in the shoulder, and I stumble back as she says, “Not me…us. Dirk!”

Huh? Where’s he going?

“Wait,” I blurt, spinning to Dirk. “You’re leaving?”

Once again, I ignore the panic pressing at my chest because if I do, then there’s so much more that can’t be ignored.

Either way, I guess I put my foot in it when Colt’s head whips my way and his eyes narrow.

Oops.

Although Dirk’s lips lift into a smirk, I see the tension around his eyes when he says, “I have to report for basic training in a week. I leave the day before they get back.”

Basic training? As in the military?

What if they send Dirk somewhere dangerous? What if he dies?

“Oh,” I mumble, shrugging casually even though panic presses at my chest like a lead weight but I can’t exactly express the fear bulldozing through my brain.

It may have been brief, like a fucking mirage in the desert but Dirk gave me something no other person ever has…he gave me hope and the small burning flame that I refused to acknowledge has now turned to ash.

I’ve never felt so fucking alone.

Mentally groaning, I grab the drink Ramie hands me, staring blankly at the cup while she sings, “Hey, Lala.”

I can feel Colt’s stare boring into the side of my face, while Finn giggles from her perch on the couch and Ramie’s lips curl into a wicked smile.

“Yeah?” I mumble.

“I got a friend I wanna hook you up with,” she says and this time it’s Dirk who whips around.

While I appreciate what I think Ramie is doing, although I’m bewildered that she is, I’m not sure I’m in the headspace to play this game.

Still, I can’t just ignore her and frankly it’s a fine distraction from the other shit going on in my life which is why I ask, “Who?”

“He’s super-hot,” she says, waving her hand at Hayden when he stands from where he was leaning against the sofa. “Not as hot as you, babe.”

With a smirk, he leans over the couch, pulling her head back and I avert my gaze because the man is seriously gorgeous and the simple act of pressing a kiss to her lips makes my throat burn.

When my cheek tingles, I meet Dirk’s dark frown as Ramie continues, “So, like…hot. You in?”

I expect nothing less when Dirk’s eyes slide away and covering my hurt with a smile, I shrug and say, “Why not?”

After dropping beside Finn, I sip my drink while Dirk and Colt sit on the opposite couch and Hayden jumps over the back of ours before snuggling with Ramie at the end.

It’s so freaking cute that once again, I look away as Finn says, “By the way, you asshole. Why didn’t you say anything?”

The asshole in question is apparently Dirk and he raises a brow.

To my surprise, I’ve finished my drink, and I take the new one Ramie offers with a wink as Dirk says, “About what?”

“Kayla. Is it serious?” Finn snaps.

Although intensely curious to hear the answer, I turn to Ramie and say, “So, tell me about this hottie.”

She taps my hand while Dirk mutters, “It’s…whatever.”

That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement but what does it mean?

“You’re about to go off and play war,” Finn says. “Then Kayla pops up out of the blue. What’s the deal? You gonna marry her?”

Dirk spits his beer across the table and proceeds to cough as Colt says, “Huh?”

Looking away, I study the picture on the wall, an older shot of Celia with Colt and Cat while Dirk wheezes, “Uh, what?”

My cold fingers warm when Ramie takes my hand and I smile at her sideways as Finn says, “You should have fucking told us, ass.”

“Uh, nothing’s been decided,” he rasps.

When Finn’s eyes slide to mine, I shrivel in my seat.

I can’t move. I can’t breathe.

I…

He’s not going to pick me…ever and even though I’ve been telling myself this for months, it still burns as I move to the edge of my seat.

Escape is all I can think of when my phone rings and I fumble with the damn thing.

Of course, because fuck my life, my heart sinks when Mom’s name flashes on the screen.

I’m not in the headspace to deal with her shit either but I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t answer which is why, I push to my feet and press call as I walk away.

“Hello?”

“Lauren?” she says, and I wince.

“Yeah?”

It doesn’t escape my notice that it’s completely quiet behind me but whatever, I don’t care what they think.

“I spoke to your father. Why didn’t you tell me they questioned him?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper, walking to the corner of the room.

I mean he lied and hasn’t said a thing to me about it but I’m too discombobulated to explain the situation.

“Completely useless,” she mutters. “Nothing is more important than finding Buck’s killer, Lauren. Nothing , do you understand?”

Not even me?

“Yes,” I say, rubbing away the ache in my chest.

“Good. Is that bastard there?” she snaps.

“Dad?”

“No, the little fucker that’s going to pay for what he did,” she sneers, and I look over my shoulder, finding Colt’s searing glare aimed directly at me.

Why does he hate her so much?

I swear, a shiver rushes through my soul as I mumble, “No.”

“Tell him I’m coming for him, Lauren.”

“Okay.”

“And Lauren?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell him that he’s gone too far this time. If the little bastard didn’t want to get his dick sucked, then maybe he shouldn’t have begged for it. I’m coming for him, and I will never forget that he took my precious child away from me.”