Page 38 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

THEN

Lauren

The chilly air sends a shiver down my spine as Caro, and I walk up to the porch. It’s been several months since I attended a party here and the reason why is obvious.

Cory must know Dirk because nine times out of ten, if I’m going to run into the asshole, it’s here.

I heard through the grapevine, i.e., my half-brother Colt, that Dirk is out of town though, which means I’m in the clear.

Simultaneously disappointed and relieved, I’m just ready to relax and enjoy my night.

Now that the cat is out of the bag and my dad left my mom, Colt’s been cool toward me since I met him and even his girlfriend, Finn, couldn't break through the wall.

It’s fine. I get it. I don’t have much use for him either. We’re not destined to be besties, that’s for sure.

Still, the chill in the air at home ever since Dad left is unbearable and as Buck descends further into his rage and Mom acts like a fucking ice cube, it’s all I can do to think of reasons to escape.

The party is in full swing when we enter and after making our way to the drinks, Caro taps me on the arm.

“Rocket’s here,” she says, and I glance over my shoulder.

He pulls up a pretty smile, and I take in the loop through his lip with a little thrill. When did he get that?

As soon as we approach, Caro veers off to another group and I stop by Rocket with a smile.

“Hey pretty girl,” he says.

“Hey,” I say.

“Where you been?” he asks, and I shrug.

“Around.”

I can’t exactly explain that I’ve been avoiding this house and the general vicinity because something broke inside of me the last time I was here, and Dirk blew me off.

“Glad you’re here now,” he says. “Wanna step outside?”

Although it’s damn near freezing outside, it’s almost unbearably hot within and I nod before saying, “Sure. I just need to go to the bathroom.”

“I'll be over there,” he says, nodding to the door.

“Okay.”

After pushing through the crowd, I enter the bathroom and do my thing before pausing in front of the mirror.

My dark hair lays around my shoulders in pretty curls while my green eyes pop against the dark makeup I applied but I can see the spark is missing and I don’t know if I can attribute that to my broken family or the weird loss I feel in the wake of Dirk’s cruelty.

Either way, I’m sailing through life and if I don’t figure out a direction, I may stall out.

Shaking my head of the melancholy thoughts, I open the door and pause because none other than Dirk stands on the other fucking side.

“Lauren,” he says, and I touch my throat.

“Dirk?”

Why is he here? He’s supposed to be gone.

Whatever. He’s here now and he looks fucking amazing.

While I swallow back drool and eye his glorious chest and those fucking pythons for arms currently flexed with his arms crossed, he runs that dark gaze down my body before pushing me into the bathroom and closing the door.

“You just don’t learn, do you?” he growls. “You can’t be here. You don’t belong. Stop fucking around and go.”

His words are like daggers to my already bruised heart, but I refuse to bend, to break for him.

“Why do you fucking care?” I hiss, shoving against his chest, which sidebar does nothing because the big lug is immovable.

“Don’t you get it?” he says, pushing me back until my hips are pressed against the sink. “You think this is a joke? Fun? Those people don’t care about you. They hate you.”

He points behind him and I follow his finger, my stomach sinking.

What is he saying? Does he hate me?

That can’t be…right?

“I’m just having fun,” I sneer in sheer defense of my heart. “Ever heard of it?”

“No, baby girl,” he rasps. “I haven’t because I’m fighting for my life, every fucking day but you wouldn’t get that, would you?”

His eyes dip over me in a less than flattering light and he says, “Go back to your pretty fucking world and leave us to ours.”

Pushing away, he steps toward the door while I watch with my heart in my throat. Is that what he truly believes?

Maybe I don’t understand his world, but I know mine and it’s no picnic. Still, there was a trace of despair that he couldn’t hide in his eyes and it’s this that has me saying, “Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way.”

He pauses, staring at the door before tipping his head back.

The bitter laugh that follows sends a shiver down my spine and I bow my head when he swings around and says, “You gonna save me? You? Okay, let’s play your little game.

When do I get to meet Mom? How ‘bout we sit down for a nice dinner over cream brulee or whatever the fuck?”

I don’t correct him because it would only further the divide between us, but I do grimace because I can just see how that would go down.

My mother, the ice queen, would skewer him alive with her words and disown me directly after.

These days, I have to admit, it would be worth it though. I’ve spent years trying to garner her approval and for what?

She’s never truly seen me anyway.

“See?” he says, throwing out his arm. “You can’t save me, baby girl and you sure as shit can’t be seen with me.”

“That’s not–” I start to say but he grabs my arms and pulls me close until nothing, but air separates us.

My soul burns at the weird light behind his eyes but before I can ask what the hell is going on he drops his mouth to mine, and I forget everything but how he makes me feel.

Dirk kisses like it’s the last time and maybe it is, which is why I give my everything and we duel for supremacy, our tongues communicating the desperation we can’t put into words.

My core heats under the sensual promise when he grabs my hips and places me on the counter before running the tip of his tongue up the sensitive skin of my neck.

Wrapping my fingers around his arms, I tilt my head, a shudder running through me when he bites into my skin.

“Dirk,” I moan but this fades to a whimper when he backs away and I look up, biting back a protest.

Thank god, it’s just to tug at my shirt which rips at the seam, but I couldn’t care less when those deep dark eyes blaze at me and he palms my breast before flicking the nipple.

“Fuck,” I cry, my core pulsing when his lips pull into a delicious smirk.

“Oh, you like that,” he murmurs.

Thankfully, I’m past proper speech because he hardly needs the encouragement and while he kneads my breasts with his warm palms, I arch against him. I want more though and as if sensing my thoughts, he pulls my pants down my legs, tossing them to the floor.

The granite counter is cold against my ass but the only thing I’m focused on is him as he spreads my knees with a lick of his lips.

That beautifully dirty smirk spreads across his face again as he says, “I’m gonna make you scream, my dirty little doll.”

Fuck me. He hasn’t even touched me down there yet and I’m aching…

Before I can beg because it’s on the tip of my tongue, he drops down and licks between my lips. The rasp of his tongue sends heat flooding to my core, and I writhe and buck against him.

“So sweet,” he rumbles before thrusting his tongue inside.

“Dirk,” I whimper when the pleasure spikes through me on wings of fire.

“Mm,” he hums, circling my clit until my eyes roll.

When he’s done teasing me, he thrusts into my core while simultaneously circling my clit with his fingers.

Helpless to the pleasure running through me, I convulse around him while he laps me up gently only to moan again when he thrusts two fingers inside and moves his wicked mouth back to my clit.

Pleasure spirals through me in waves so intense, my toes curl and no sooner do I finish then he picks me up and sets me on my feet facing the mirror.

“Open your eyes and watch, dirty girl,” he rasps, and I meet his glittering gaze in the mirror as he pushes inside me.

With an intensity that burns my soul, he inches deeper, all while I stare into his dark eyes.

When I whimper, his brows flicker before he grabs my breast and plumps the flesh before twirling the nipple between his fingers.

Grabbing the counter, I clutch onto it desperately as he wraps his other hand around my waist, pulls me flush against his chest, and thrusts into me heavily.

I can’t stop the panting breaths puffing from my lips and my stomach swoops when his mouth pulls back in a silent snarl and he bottoms out inside me.

I know I should look away because my heart can’t take much more but I don’t because, perhaps foolishly, I want to see his pleasure.

Despite the two orgasms he already gave me, my body tightens once more and as he jerks inside of me, a gentle warmth floods my veins.

After, we stand together for a few minutes while he catches his breath before he slowly pulls away.

I’m tender and still surprisingly buzzing as I stand from the counter and reach for my pants while he tucks his dick away.

Of course, his brows furrow and I drop my gaze, bracing for impact when he runs his hands through his silky hair.

I don’t want this to end but I know it’s coming, so at the least, I’d like to escape before he says something cruel.

Even so, I can’t stop his name from tumbling off my tongue when I whisper, “Dirk?”

Meeting his gaze in the mirror, I shiver before turning away. Why can’t he look at me as anything other than the bitch he seems to think I am?

Why do we continue to do this?

I’m not ready for another brush off though and after pulling on my shirt, I rush for the door as he says, “Lauren?”

“Yeah?” I mumble through the lump in my throat.

“Don’t come back here. You’re not welcome in this house.”

Dirk

I knew she was trouble the first time I laid eyes on her with that haughty sneer and all that glorious shiny fucking hair.

Maybe she thought shredding her jeans and piling on the makeup would disguise the rich within her, but Academy students don’t understand.

We can spot ‘em a mile away.

I may not be a complete asshole, but I am human, and I took what she so eagerly gave when she refused to heed my warning and stay the fuck away.

The problem is, Lauren Stark isn’t one of us and finding out that she’s my best friend’s long-lost half-sister only made a complicated situation worse.

I wasn’t lying. Girls like Lauren don’t understand our world and eventually she’s going to run into the wrong person and then what’s she going to do?

Fend him off with her designer purse?

She has a fire behind those green eyes that I admire though and if she were anyone else, I might play a bit more before sending her home.

However, I can’t betray my brother and on our side of this shitty town, loyalty is the only true currency we have.

I would never turn my back on the guy who’s always had my own and yet, I couldn't resist when I saw her walking through the crowd.

Why did she have to turn up today of all fucking days?

I vowed to let the little troublemaker go but as soon as I spotted her, I knew I had to spill my dirty onto her clean.

Strangely, with Lauren, all the shitty thoughts swirling through my head disappear when I’m with her. It’s like she truly does know how to wash it all away and that’s the balm I need for the coming fight with my father about shit that should’ve stayed in the past.

She’s the only one who can tame the beast writhing below my skin.

It was a mistake though and I can’t deny that regret pulls at my gut when she looks back with her pretty green eyes and I recognize what she can’t put into words.

She’s lost but I’m hardly the one who can save her. Most days, it feels as though I can’t find my way out of a cardboard box.