Page 44 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

NOW

Lauren

For the next week, I hide away, trying to ignore the fact that I’m probably about to be arrested and for the life of me I can’t remember enough of the events to defend myself or confess my guilt.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve been wallowing in my own misery, which is why when Ramie and Finn suggest we hang out, I say yes.

Since I’ve already been to Ramie’s house, it’s not hard to retrace my steps but when I pull into the drive, I’m confused by the series of cars parked out front.

No one mentioned a party and I can’t say I’m much for good company but I’m already here so I suck it up and knock on the door.

For me, this is an escape from everything rolling through my brain but safer than going somewhere I can’t trust my surroundings or the people who might be waiting to jump me.

I can’t even begin to process the fact that these are considerations I have to make.

Gah.

Ramie greets me at the door with a wide smile, but I falter when I see Dirk amongst the crowd standing next to a pretty blonde with curves for days.

Did she come with him?

Just a few days ago, he held me in his arms while I cried about my shitty life and now this?

What does it mean?

“Sorry,” Ramie says. “I invited her.”

She winces for good measure, but I don’t blame Ramie for her presence. If Dirk didn’t want someone around, she wouldn’t be.

He’s not shy about banning people from parties.

Dick.

Mustering a smile, I comply when she grabs my arm and says, “C’mon, I have someone I want you to meet.”

She leads me toward the kitchen where Finn’s making a drink and I wave when she says, “Lala!”

Beside her, a guy turns and blinks his bright blue eyes in my direction before he pulls up a charming grin.

“Hey Lala, I’m Tom,” he says.

“Uh, yeah. Hey, Tom.”

Although he’s tall, built nicely and has a few interesting tattoos peeking from the collar of his shirt, he doesn’t compare to the brutal sexuality Dirk exudes without thought.

However, I’m not going to think about Dirk right now or fucking ever, I decide as Tom hands me a drink.

“What did I miss?” Hayden yells from the door and Ramie rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile Colt makes a beeline for Finn, grabbing her up as soon as she’s within reach to give her a smoldering kiss that would be obscene if she didn’t smack his ass to bring him back to the moment.

After which, she turns to me, her cheeks flushed a pretty pink hue and says, fanning her face, “Sometimes your brother can be such a caveman.”

What is this weird burning sensation in my chest? Surely, it’s not jealousy. Nope, I will not envy Colt. No fucking way. No how.

Looking away, I meet Dirk’s stare and my heart thumps painfully when he smirks, the wicked affectation sending my pulse into overdrive.

It falls flat though when the chick standing beside him laughs and he drops his gaze.

“So,” Tom says, and I turn back to him. “I’m glad we got the chance to hang out.”

“Oh?” I mumble.

I’m so confused right now but it would be rude to ignore this guy even though I’m just not feeling it.

“Yeah…”

Although he keeps talking, I lose track of the conversation when Dirk steps down the hall and the blonde chick follows.

Where are they going?

Tom, immune to this newest disaster, says, “Wanna sit down?”

Nodding, I join him at the small table adjacent to the kitchen and attempt to listen as he rambles about how he knows Ramie and that she suggested we meet.

I nod along as best I can, but my focus is on that hallway where I haven’t seen Dirk emerge.

While my brain screams to go find him and kick his ass, my heart aches for his callous disregard of my feelings.

“Hey? You okay?” Tom asks, touching my arm and I flinch away as he raises his hand palm up and offers me a sheepish smile.

“Sorry,” he says.

I don’t have time to comment though because Dirk pulls out a chair across from me and turns to Tom. “Hey, I’m Dirk.”

Tom smiles and holds out his hand as he says, “Tom.”

Finn and Colt join us at the table while Hayden and Ramie stand beyond.

My throat burns to lash out at Dirk, who’s glaring at the side of my head, but I manage to keep it in check as Tom looks between us and asks, “You know Lala?”

“Sure,” Dirk says with a shrug. “I know Lauren.”

At his statement, the table drops to silence, and all eyes turn to Dirk, including Colt’s as he crosses his arms.

What the hell is he doing?

“Oh ho,” Hayden says and Dirk merely grins…with all his teeth.

Dazed, I lean back but before any sort of hope can bloom in my heart, Finn taps the table and says, “Where’s Kayla, Dirk?”

Of course, Dirk whips around with a frown but she merely sits back and raises a brow as Colt says, “Finn…”

It’s the reminder I need though and pushing back my chair, I say, “I need another drink, T–”

“Let’s go,” Dirk says, and my jaw drops to my knees.

Of all the…

Grabbing my empty glass, I stalk away and swing around to whisper, “Careful. You don’t want your bro to see us together.”

His brows rise before his lips curl into a smirk, and he says, “Baby girl, I’ve got bigger issues than your brother.”

“Like what?” I hiss. “Embarrassing me in front of my friend?”

Cocking his head, he rubs his chin before saying, “I did you a favor. Guys like him only care about one thing.”

“Yeah, well maybe I wanted that one thing, too.”

“Not possible,” he says, taking my arm and leading me to the kitchen.

“It’s so possible,” I snort.

Shaking his head, he grabs my cup as the blonde bitch approaches with a sultry smile.

She flaps her long lashes at him when he flashes her a sexy smirk and I grind my teeth as he says, “I wasn’t talking about sex, baby girl. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

When my jaw drops, he pushes my mouth closed and says, “That little weasel wants what only chicks like you can give.”

“Which is what?” I grit through my teeth.

“Money,” he says, and I glance over my shoulder.

Tom meets my gaze with a cute smile and raises his glass.

“So, you’re saying he doesn’t want to fuck me, he wants my money?” I mumble, strangely disappointed.

“Course he wants to fuck you, he has eyes,” Dirk says. “But a guy like that won’t give you what you need.”

The words, spoken in a silky soft tone send a shiver down my spine but I refuse to take the bait.

Instead, I grab my newly refreshed drink and say before walking away, “I think I’ll take my chances.”

For the next hour, I try to speak with Tom but every time we go to move away, one of the guys pulls us back in while Dirk watches on with a stone-cold expression.

If Dirk hadn’t denied my existence all this time I’d think this was some bro thing but that’s not possible considering the circumstances.

Somewhere around midnight, Tom finally looks at his watch and says, “It’s late. I should go. Do you wanna…”

He motions to the door but before I can decline because I don’t really want to go anywhere alone with him, Dirk grunts, “She’s fine here, bro. Feel me?”

Once again, I grit my teeth as Tom glances between us with a curious light behind his eyes and says, “Uh, okay. See you around, Lala.”

The table is silent while we watch him go before Hayden claps Dirk on the back and says, “Our job here is done. Everybody out so I can fuck my woman.”

Ramie rolls her eyes but I’m ready to go home anyway but as soon as I push back from the table, Dirk barks, “Sit down.”

Although I’m super fucking annoyed by his high-handed attitude, I plop back into my chair while Colt leans forward with a frown and Dirk says, “I fucked your sister. Multiple times.”

Holy shit.

Covering my heated cheeks, I peek through my fingers as Colt asks, “When?”

When Dirk looks at me, raising a brow, I shake my head, and mumble, “It started when I was sixteen.”

Colt glances between us with a scowl before he barks, “You fucked my sixteen-year-old sister?”

“Yeah,” Dirk says, pushing back from the table. “And I don’t regret it.”

He walks away before anyone can comment and I watch him go, pushing away the little tingle of pleasure suffusing my veins.

This doesn’t mean anything, or does it…?