Page 10 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)
NOW
Lauren
I’m relieved to see Mom’s car when I get home. Although I’m unsettled by what Caro revealed, I am glad to have a direction.
As much as I dread having the conversation with Dirk, he’s going to know what’s going on soon anyway.
I can’t hide this forever.
After entering the code, I step inside, pausing to lock the door before moving down the hall.
Even though I grew up in this house and I know every object between here and the stairs, I still stumble over something laying on the floor before hitting the wall.
“Fuck me,” I grumble.
With one foot on the step, I pause though and turn back, eyeing the entry.
A single shoe sits on the Italian marble floor, revealing what I tripped over.
Hm. Did Mom leave that there?
Wrinkling my nose, I turn back to the stairs, but I can’t get that damn shoe out of my head, and I know I’ll be worried about that all night if I don’t pick it up.
With a groan, I stalk back to the shiny black heel and swipe it up before passing the stairway for the hall just beyond.
Even though it’s been months since my parents split, I still think of it as their room when I step down the hall.
Without Dad here and Buck no longer wandering the halls either, it’s so damn quiet.
The faint glow of the lamp in the master bedroom makes me pause and I glance at the shoe in my hand.
Is she awake?
It’s a small thing but I know giving her the shoe back to arrange neatly in the closet will soothe some of the stress radiating from her in waves.
Control freak, thy name is Sheila.
With a silent groan, I tiptoe down the hall and peek inside, visions of her vacant stare dancing before me.
Anymore, it’s like she looks through me, rather than at me and I can’t decide which is worse.
However, I can’t comprehend the tornado that blew through, and I take in the bed covered in tufts of fabric and feathers.
The dresser against the wall lays on the floor, the heavy wood broken down the seam. Mom’s clothes peek through the cracks, the colors staining the otherwise pale wood.
Even the paintings that hung on the wall are shattered and litter the floor, the glass glinting under the lamp overturned by the bed.
My eyes are drawn back to the mattress, and I eye the stuffing still floating through the air before I approach the closet.
“Mom?” I whisper, pausing when I find her sitting within, her hands on her knees and her head bowed to the floor.
“What happened?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“Go to bed, Lauren.”
“But–”
“Get out. Now!”
Her tone sends me back a step before I turn and walk blindly down the hall.
I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing until I reach the door and exit into the cool night where I raise my head and close my eyes as the snowflakes falling gently from the sky pelt my numb cheeks.
Mom’s been avoiding me since I found her in her room. Part of me wants to know why she destroyed it, but I know the stiff lipped woman will never share her pain with me.
Now I’m headed to a party that Celia is throwing in Colt and Finn’s honor. I’d rather sit in a room with my mom while she glares at me than do this but it’s an opportunity to speak to Dirk.
One that I can’t dodge any longer.
The shades of the waning sun cast a pretty glow over the windows as I approach the hotel, my gaze drawn to a dark figure leaning against the railing outside.
That lean…fuck me, it should be illegal.
With a groan, I straighten when he raises the bottle previously dangling from his fingertips and I admire the way his arms ripple as he sips from the rim.
My fingers itch to touch the smooth muscle and when Dirk’s lips pull into a wicked smirk, I mentally groan because despite everything, he still makes me burn…and it’s decidedly not cool.
However, I will never let him see just how much he affects me after his cruel brush off even if heat burns my cheeks when those dangerous dark eyes drop to my chest.
I hope that it’s desire glittering in that stare because he should know exactly what he lost when he tossed me away like trash.
Finally, his gaze moves back to my face, and I can’t hold back my shiver when he raises his brow.
Asshole.
I simultaneously want him to take me away and fuck me before I punch him in the dick so I can see his pain.
I’m so fucked in the head.
“Lauren,” he says in that husky tone that always sends me spiraling.
“Dirk,” I mutter.
When he takes a swallow of his drink, I eye his throat undulating under the movement and look away. How can something so stupid be so sexy?
“Thirsty?” he rasps, and I cross my arms, gratified when his eyes dip to my tits again.
“Are you?” I spit and he smiles.
“I’m good, baby doll.”
A tingle of annoyance dances down my spine and I grab the bottle from his hand before sucking down the last of it.
When I’m done, I lick the rim, goosebumps gathering on my skin when his eyes darken.
With a small smile, I push the empty bottle back into his hand while he stares at me with a weird glint in his eyes.
However, once more, my world is rocked when a stunning redhead appears by his shoulder and says, “Hey baby, who’s this?”
Her red tipped talons curl around his arm and my mind goes blank for a second before I suck in a breath.
Eyeing her sleek black dress, cute knee-high boots, and porcelain complexion with nary a wart or fucking blemish in sight, I decide that I hate her.
I’m no slouch. I know I’m not the most gorgeous woman but I’m pretty enough.
However, next to this woman with her bright blue eyes, beautiful pale skin and high cheekbones, I’m a fucking troll.
“Sweetie,” Dirk says, glancing down, “this is Colt’s sister, Lauren.”
Sweetie. Ugh.
This is just fucking perfect. I came to this goddamn party, knowing Colt wouldn’t want me here, to interrogate this fucker and now I have to contend with this?
I’m not ready.
Frankly, I can’t feel my damn lips even though I manage to summon a wretched smile when she says, “Hi! I’m Kayla. I’ve heard so much about you. I’m so happy to finally meet Dirk’s family.”
Finally? How long has this been going on?
I mean we fucked just a few weeks ago. Is he for fucking real?
Idly I wonder what’s wrong with his real family while I process her words. Just what did Dirk tell this woman and why does my chest burn at being defined as his family.
“Hello,” I finally mutter when she taps his arm.
“Foods being served, baby,” she says before turning to me. “You want to join us?”
My stomach sinks even further at her choice of words—us—before I shake my head and back away.
“No, I’m good. Thanks,” I say because I’d rather eat with my half-fucking-brother then subject myself to this.
That’s how badly this burns and I avoid Dirk’s gaze as I step toward the entrance to the private room.
When I look back, they’re retreating to the table in the back and my heart sinks.
Why am I still hung up on this asshole?