Page 34 of Hate So Deep (Hate #4)

THEN

Lauren

A few weeks later, I’m still spiraling.

It’s been the day from hell, and I know if I go home, it will be to another evening of brooding about shit I can’t change while Mom hides behind her bitchy facade and Buck disappears to god knows where.

Earlier, I walked away from another fight between my parents and when my dad slowly shut the door in my face, I saw the look in his eyes, which if I’m honest scared the shit out of me.

In some ways, I think he’s already checked out and I don’t know what that means for me. Will I be erased as easily as he seems to have forgotten about his vows?

Now I’m at Caro’s house because once again, I don’t want to be home.

As usual she’s already flying high when I pick her up and grateful for the distraction, I listen to her retell a story from school yesterday.

This party happens to be at the same house where I met Dirk for the first time, and I prepare myself mentally for his shitty attitude as we pull up to the place, even though he may not be here.

The music from inside pumps all the way down the street as we make our way up the sidewalk and push inside.

Immediately the combined scents of weed and alcohol assault my nose and with a little thrill, I look around, hoping to find Dirk anywhere in the crowd.

No such luck though and with a frown, I ignore Caro’s pitying gaze as we pour two drinks in the kitchen before heading outside.

This apparently is where the action is but the last thing I expected was to find my half-brother, Colt kicking some fuckers ass. I haven’t been this close to him since the last time I was here and while I’m still curious about him, I know I shouldn’t poke the bear.

Buck is already a powder keg ready to explode and judging by the feral look on Colt’s face while he pounds on the dude, he’s no pussy cat either.

All of which fades to insignificance when I move to the left and find Dirk looking on, his arms wrapped around a pretty blonde with big blue eyes and lush lips.

At the sight, my heart drops and I touch my own mouth. Does she know how soft and warm his lips are?

Feeling foolish, I back away just as he looks up and we lock eyes. Although his brows furrow, he essentially ignores me when he glances down at the blonde before turning back to the brawl.

Biting back the brutal burn painting my tongue, I step around the house and lean against the wall.

I can’t explain the betrayal pressing at my chest because we’re barely acquaintances, but surely the heart is a foolish organ that beats for no good reason but to torture the shit out of us.

Either way, I’m not keen on watching this play out and I shoot Caro a quick text while the sounds of the fight finally die down.

Curiosity pushes me to creep back over there and figure out what’s going on, but common sense keeps me rooted to the spot.

I need to go before Colt sees me because I still don’t know if he knows who I am.

Assuming it’s Caro who approaches, I turn toward the front of the house only to freeze when Dirk says, “What are you doing here, baby girl?”

Bitterness fills my soul for this asshole and the fucked-up situation I’m in and waving toward the darkness, I mutter, “Leaving.”

“So soon?” he rasps, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. “And here I thought you came to play…”

There’s something off about his expression, but I can’t pin it down. Regardless, I’m not about to back down and sneer, “Aren’t you going to send me back to my playpen?”

The corner of his lip quirks as his eyes dip to my chest. When his gaze meets mine once more, I shiver because there’s a darkness there that both sends a tendril of caution through me and lights my veins on fire.

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

The air between us practically vibrates with tension and I can’t deny that when I’m with him, I feel…free. A strange notion since he’s always bossing me the fuck around.

Still, am I ready to do this…whatever it is?

I guess I wait too long to respond because he breaks me from my thoughts when he trails the tip of his finger down my neck before tapping the pulse, raging under his fingers.

“Hm, baby girl?” he says. “You say no and walk now or…”

“Or?” I whisper and his lips pull into a sexy smirk.

“Or I take you upstairs and show you what it’s really like to walk on the dark side.”

This is what I’ve wanted since the first time we kissed but I can’t deny the weird sense of dread that crashes through me when I nod and follow behind him into the house and up the stairs.

At the first door on the right, he pushes it open, and I move past his outstretched arm. I’ve never been in any of the bedrooms before but it’s as I would expect from a typical teenage guy, covered in trophies and plaques of various sports and sizes.

Dirty clothes litter the floor, and a musty scent makes my eyes water as Dirk closes the door behind us, muffling the sounds below the stairs.

What changed his mind? Does it matter?

I want this even if I know I’m going to crash and burn after. Still, like a firefly burning bright in the darkness, I light up at his touch and that’s what leads me toward my doom when Dirk grasps my hips and pulls me in.

Our chests brush and the warmth of his pecs beneath his shirt brushing my aching nipples sends a tremor through my limbs.

Biting back a moan, I meet his gaze boring into mine. This is when a trickle of unease moves through me but before I can back away, he takes my mouth in a brutal kiss.

Those soft, plush lips plumber my mouth and I grab his shoulders to ground myself as our tongues duel for supremacy. He gives no mercy, but I love the brutal caress, especially when he threads his fingers through my hair and jerks my head around.

Tingles dance across my skin at his ferocity and I bite back a whimper as he bucks into my core, the desperate touch matching my own, but I need so much more.

I want to feel his skin, press my palms to his sexy chest and run them over his abs before tracing my fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans.

This is what’s rolling through my head as I grind helplessly against him, leaving me in a daze when he pulls back.

Huh?

“Let me see my prize,” he says, a wicked smirk curling his lips before he drops to his knees.

Eagerly I dispose of my jeans and panties before laying back on the bed. As soon as I spread my legs, he pauses, his nostrils flaring before those dark, dilated eyes meet mine and he says, “Perfect.”

“Shit,” I moan, arching into the air.

“So pretty,” he rasps, running his fingers through my folds. My clit throbs at the teasing caress and I buck into the air as he rasps, “Take off your shirt.”

Once it’s up and over my head, the bra with it, he grabs my thighs and pulls me closer.

“I wanna see you play with those tits while I fuck you with my tongue,” he says, and my eyes roll at his dirty demands.

I’ve never been so eager for anything in my life and as soon as I touch the aching peaks, he licks between my lips.

Arching up, I moan my need and shudder when he says, “You’re a dirty little doll, aren’t you?”

I don’t respond beyond another moan as he twirls his tongue around my clit and slides a finger inside me.

After that it’s all sensation while he brings me to the edge over and over before starting up again. It’s perfect torture and I’m a throbbing mess of need and desperation while I pump against his mouth.

“Mm,” he rasps. “My dirty little doll wants more.”

“Yes,” I sob, shuddering when he groans and swipes between my folds before thrusting his tongue inside.

“Dirk!” I cry, grabbing his hair.

“What do you want, baby girl?” he says, and I meet his glittering gaze before he thrusts back into me.

“More,” I moan and his eyes flash before his mouth curls into a wicked smirk.

“You want to come on my tongue?”

“Yes,” I groan.

With a grunt, he drops his mouth between my legs again and when he flicks my throbbing clit with his tongue, I bow off the bed.

“Please,” I cry, and he chuckles, although the sound sends a shiver of awareness down my spine.

“I know what you need,” he growls, running his finger down to my core before dipping inside.

The sensations roll through me on wings of fire, and I writhe mindlessly until his finger slides between my cheeks and caresses over my ass.

“W-What?” I stutter.

“Shh,” he rumbles, and I shudder at the deep sound as he teases my back door before sucking on my clit.

“Oh god,” I shout and arch into the air, flying over as his fingers slide inside my ass.

It burns but it’s the least of my worries while I shudder and convulse around his face still buried between my thighs.

“Dirk,” I moan, a blathering mass of need before he rises and says, “The next time you come, it's on my dick, baby girl.”

“Yesss,” I hiss, glancing up as he grabs his dick.

His muscles flex with each pump and I buck into the air, begging him to slake the burn rushing through my veins.

After grabbing my hips, he pulls me back to the edge of the bed and groans, “Dirty little dolls get fucked hard, baby.”

Dazed, I meet his dark stare as he pumps into me with a savage groan before leaning over and sucking my nipple between his teeth.

The fluttering of another orgasm pulses through me when he pins me to the bed and pounds inside, growling, “That’s it. Squeeze me, baby. Fuck.”

“Oh god,” I cry when his lips pull back into a snarl.

I suspect it was the need written all over his face that sends me over and my heart clenches brutally when he meets my gaze and I see a flash of something I don’t recognize behind his eyes.

“Fuck,” he groans, jerking inside of me.

I’m pulsing delicately around him when he collapses to the mattress. Despite the pleasure still slowly ebbing from my body, this is when the weird tension I sensed before rears its ugly head again.

I wish everything between us would burn up and fly away, an impossibility because even if I hadn’t kept my true identity from him, the specter of my half-brother would still stand between us.

Any sort of foolish hope falls flat though when Dirk rolls over on the mattress and stares at the wall. My stomach sinks at his cool brush off and I swallow past the burn in my throat as I grab for my shirt, tossed at the foot of the bed earlier.

Does he regret what we did?

I just need out…like now, and after wrenching the shirt over my head, I glance around the room for my pants, noting from the corner of my eyes that he hasn’t moved.

I can’t look at him and I avoid his gaze, as I go to crawl over him to get off the bed and out of this fucking room, except he throws out his arm, stopping me.

When I raise my head, meeting his flinty gaze, I summon a carefree smile that feels so fucking wrong because my body still trembles in the aftermath of what we did.

“Lauren,” he says quietly.

“Yes?” I ask, moving my gaze over his shoulder.

Wait…Lauren. How does he know my name?

With a shiver, I meet his stare once more. His eyes give nothing away, of course and I wish that I could pull back the mask he wears so easily when he says, “I don’t know why you came here. Frankly, I don’t fucking care. Take that ass, leave and don’t come back.”

“How long?” I whisper.

“How long what?” he asks, covering a yawn.

Really? What a fucking asshole.

Gritting my teeth, I step away. It doesn’t matter, does it? Either way, he’s not choosing me.

We drop back to silence while I finish dressing. With each minute that passes though, my chest aches with the words I have to bite my tongue to keep inside, all of which goes out the window when I reach the door and glance over my shoulder.

He’s just lying there. How can he be so fucking cold?

“Why?” I whisper.

“Why, what?” he asks, and I turn away as he steps from the bed and grabs his jeans.

I hardly need the sight of his treacherous but fine ass as he brings me to my knees and not in a good way.

Gah.

“If you knew who I was, why bring me up here?” I ask even though I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

When he doesn’t immediately respond, I glance at him sideways, relieved to see he’s got his pants on, but this doesn’t spare me the sight of his glorious chest as he scratches his pec and says, “What? You wanted me to treat you like a dirty little doll, right? Maybe now, you’ll go back to your Academy dicks and leave this shit alone. ”

So…what? This was a pity fuck. Is he for real?

“Thanks for the sacrifice,” I mutter, glaring at the door.

“Oh, it was definitely worth it,” he says before his warmth presses at my back. “Problem is, this ain’t your world, baby and it’s time you left before you do something you can’t take back.”

Which would be what? Is he threatening me?

Biting my lip, I consider his words before whispering, “Being with me is so bad then?”

My heart sinks when there’s a horribly pregnant pause and I glance to the right, meeting his stare in the floor length mirror. His brows flicker before he averts his gaze and says with a lazy grin, “Yeah, we fucked, baby doll but I don’t do seconds.”

“Oh?”

I blink rapidly processing his words. He doesn’t do seconds…

Wow. Dig the knife a little deeper, asshole.

“You should know…” he says, and I drop my head to the door. “Whatever your game, I will never betray him.”

Not even for me…

“Especially not for you,” he says, his eyes meeting mine once more.

They hold an intensity that I don’t understand, and I rub away the infernal ache in my chest as I wrench the door open and say, “Right. Well…”

I don’t look back, and I think I leave the last of my hopeful innocence behind because when I emerge in the living room, I feel dead inside.