Page 71 of Forever My Siren Luna

She takes one more drink, her eyes staying trained on the ceiling for a long moment when she is through. It pangs me to see the war going on in her eyes. Is she referring to herself, or others? I didn’t want to punish anyone but myself.

“Tell her how you feel, captain. This is going to be a festering sore for us both until you do. Be a man. Show some fucking courage. Take initiative on the matter for once. Be the fucking man that I fell in love with.”

My breath catches in my throat. I thought it might just be lust on her part. I was hoping it was, but also dreading it. Hearing her say that word made something crumble inside of me.

Love.

It’s something so scary coming from her lips. It sounded more like a threat than a confession. I didn’t know how to respond or react.

Her eyes moved down, piercing into me. She’s looking right into my soul, and the fire is brimming inside of her at whatever she sees.

“Since you are a capable man, I’ll leave you to sulk like a pathetic pup for the night. Tomorrow, get your shit together. You have ships to command and a sea to conquer. The you I am seeing right now can’t even conquer his own feelings. No one wants to follow a captain wallowing in self-deprivation. Fix yourself.”

She slid the glass back over to me, but took the bottle. Then I watch as she lifts her leg over the chair and turns to leave without another glance in my direction.

“You’ve done it now,”Oisin groaned, still admiring her as she walked away and out of the bar.

“That I have,”I sighed, signaling the miffed bar maid for another bottle.

Beretta's words stabbed to the heart of me. I feel pathetic. I feel like a lost pup.

She’s right. I need to fix myself. I need to quit wading in the lukewarm waters, neither on land nor in the sea. I need to dive in or retreat.

~

Elelira

“Mmmh, this feels good,”Val purrs, enjoying the feel of the brush running through my hair. “I missed this.”

“Me too,”I told her, being honest for once.

I missed all of this. I missed my nightly routine with Killian and Lachlan.

The past several nights have been the same familiar routine. Dinner with Lachlan in the garden, followed by our nightly hair brushing with our Lycans in control.

So much has changed during these days. If I am not spending time with my father, getting to know him better, I am with the warriors and pirates, helping in the training so our forces can be more in sync and familiar with one another.

Beretta has been helping a lot with that as well.

Jack shows up to train a lot with his men too, but he has mainly taken to overseeing the navy and building our cooperation on the waters.

I'm grateful.

Ever since that awkward lunch I have become more wary of Jack. I try not to be alone with him or around him without Lachlan present. When Lachlan is with me, Jack has taken to avoiding the both of us all together. Even though I have Cherum and Cedric following me around again when I am not with my mate, I still rather not interact with Jack without my mate, just out of courtesy to him.

I felt a little guilty for treating Jack with such caution, but Beretta told me I was doing the right thing. She pointed out that if I tried to be considerate to both of them, it would be an insult to them both instead. I needed to choose who my loyalty was to, and she agreed that it needed to be with Lachlan.

She wasn’t surprised at all when I told her about what Cedric told me and then what happened at lunch.

She just seemed annoyed with Jack.

I will need to talk to Jack eventually, but I’m not sure how to navigate that just yet.

Right now, my focus is on getting ready to take out my Uncle and his vile warriors, and in the evenings my focus is solely on Lachlan, allowing both of us to repair the many hurts and brokenness from before.

Tonight was no different than the past several nights.

Dinner was great, with great conversation. Now that everything's out in the open, there was a freedom I felt to be completely honest about everything. I didn’t hold back my thoughts and feelings like I did in the past.