Page 53 of Forever My Siren Luna

I told him about feeling the mate bond the moment I saw him, and the pain I felt later that night when I felt betrayal for the first time.

His face when I described that first night of pain looked tortured, but he still listened quietly, letting me say my peace.

I told him about trying to seek him out, to tell him about the bond, and not trusting anyone else with that part of me because of the pack’s views of other races. I feared being locked in the dungeon or worse if he didn’t believe me or if his men thought of me as one of the demonic races from the North.

I couldn’t help but to tell him of the nightly pain I endured, and how nothing numbed the pain. It wasn’t until I numbed myself to the bond that I finally was able to endure, and by then the Northern Clans had attacked. He was off fighting while I was suffering a dwindling bond and then the death of the only person in the pack that truly cared about me. Niomi, my Mimi.

I remember him coming to see me the day he returned, but I was stuck with grief and closed myself off to the world. I didn’t want our bond anymore and was just waiting for the day to leave. I wanted to be rejected. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to finally find a place I belonged.

Lachlan was silently crying as I told him of the hardships I faced once I was truly alone in the castle without Mimi’s support. I told him about the true intentions of my frequent trips up the rocky stream, and that sometimes I would go for long stretches without eating because the staff in the packhouse were so loyal to him and wary of me.

He let out an ugly sob when I mentioned trying to get my own firewood, because the one time I asked for help I was accused of trying to seduce the man. I learned to live with the cold, dreariness of the tower where I was kept. I became numb to all the hardships in life.

The day that I rejected him was when I finally broke out of that shell of coldness to be free. Val was so broken, knowing she could never have her mate, but we both knew there was no future there for us. She never even caught a glimpse of her mate, and mine we had written off a year prior.

Lachlan’s eyes were red and he had claw marks on his leg from where he was gripping it so hard. Killian was flashing on his face, but he remained quiet, listening intently, though it was torturing him.

I asked if he wanted me to continue. I didn’t know if he or Killian could make it through much more. Lachlan looked ready to tear himself apart if Killian didn’t do it first.

I was now almost indifferent to my own story. This would have been impossible for me to tell just months ago, but now, after I learned to channel my hardship and use it to fuel my vengeance. I am fairly proud of the strength I have and how I endured it all. Running away again and finding people who suffered similarly to me helped me to find a reason for the pain.

I feel dignified of what I endured and who I am.

Lachlan, after a somber moment of reflection, urged me to keep going. He said he needed to know. He needed to hear it all.

That’s when I told him about searching for my father and going back to my old pack to look for clues. I didn’t make it far into the pack before my uncle’s men captured me, torturing and raping me for weeks.

As I described the abuse, my broken jaw, the millions of ways my body was broken and used, so similarly to Yasmin, only my assault lasted so long that I’m surprised I had to kill myself to make it end.

At the end, there is a long, solemn silence that passes between us.

“Were any of the men that…. that hurt you during that time here? Were they among the men who came to the docks that day?”

My silence spoke volumes. As much as I would love to deny it to save his state of mind, I can’t.

“There were very few men in my Uncle’s ranks who didn’t hurt me, Lachlan.”

Angry tears filled his eyes and started rolling down his face as Killian snarls fiercely through him.

“I should have made them suffer more.”

I nodded, in agreement. I don’t know exactly what those men suffered at the end of their lives, but I can guarantee it was not enough to atone for their sins. Not just against me, but all the other women they have assaulted.

The arm of the chair Lachlan is sitting in snaps under the strain in his grip. “They’re going to die. Every fucking one of them. I will burn them alive. I will tear their flesh from their bones, making them eat their own hearts, and then revive them while they are on the brink of death to do it all over again.”

“I plan on making them pay myself,” I huffed, Val in agreement with me. “I have come to enjoy their screams.”

Lachlan stared at me in amazement, or maybe shock. He has yet to see what Val can do, but once this war starts, he will find out very soon.

The silence stretched, the energy in the air shifting as time passed to a strained mood.

There it is. Everything is on the table. The air feels heavy, but my soul feels lighter. There are no more secrets between us. All the pain. All the hurt. Everything is on the table.

He loves me. I love him. The bond is still there, trying to pull us together again.

Is that enough to save us? Is that enough to restore what was once broken beyond repair?

“I don’t deserve you,” Lachlan stated, his voice sounding almost dead. “I don’t deserve anything from you.”