Page 6 of Forever My Siren Luna

For the first time, though, I feel like I have a purpose for living twice. It’s not to be happy. That is a hope I will likely not have again. How can I hope for happiness for myself when it has failed me both times?

No, I have a new desire and purpose in life. It is to stop my uncle and his men from destroying more than they have. I know the future, or at least enough of it to help me figure out the events my uncle will be conspiring in. I know what he is planning with the Northern Clans, now, and why Hidden Cove was attacked the way it was. I just needed to figure out what it is he is ultimately planning on doing. To find that out, I needed to go back,

It is almost time for the Northern Clans to try and attack Hidden Cove again. I wanted to diminish my Uncle’s forces enough so they couldn’t be a threat to anyone. I think I have accomplished that with Jack's help. Now I just need to stop my uncle's men from trying to hurt the people I love.

Lachlan was always cold and unwelcoming to my uncle’s pack. Uncle Wayne probably used these sudden attacks to get access to the territory to infiltrate it, but didn’t expect Lach and his men to be so well-prepared to quickly push back the northern clans, rendering my uncle’s men useless after just weeks. Uncle Wayne won't be much help now that I have killed at least half his forces. He really won't be able to get any foothold in Lachlan's pack to gain access to anything. Lachlan is a cold and untrusting man. Even without my help, I knew they wouldn't have gotten far with him.

I wonder if that is why my uncle didn’t succeed in my lifetime previously in overtaking Lachlan’s pack. He never had the advantage. Lachlan never gave him any. What was my uncle’s reason for sending me to Lachlan anyway? I just don’t get it.

Did Lachlan ever figure things out in our first lives? I don’t know what happened to him after I rejected him. I know he somehow found my father, but that’s the only thing I know. I guess when I go back, I’ll need to talk with him to figure everything else out. I don’t know how I’m going to have a rational conversation with him. He deceived me. He knew everything, but he let me think that he didn’t, all to trick me into staying so it didn’t hurt his pack again to lose their true luna.

I don’t want to hurt the pack. Imagining Cherum, Yasmin, Percy, little Westly, Mimi….

When I think of all their faces, I don’t think I could hurt them by rejecting Lachlan this time. I had no ties to anyone in my first life after Mimi's death, so it was easy to brush off rejecting my title as their Luna. Imagining the expression of pain that would come over the faces of each and every one of the people who I still love makes me hesitant to ever reject Lachlan.

Plus, Val and I were falling in love with him. Not knowing he was the same man, I was falling in love with the new Lachlan of this life, and Val was already head over heels in love with Killian. Rejecting Killian may be impossible, even for me.

Lachlan though….

I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do.

I’m thinking we can just save our pack, then Val and I can live the rest of our lives as pirates, even after I gain my magic. I won’t reject him or his pack, but I won’t stay and be lied to or manipulated again. I mean, the man was about to sleep with me, mating and marking me without me knowing the truth. How do I trust him after that? There can’t be a future after that for us. We will just have to figure out how to make this work for the good of the pack, without actually being together.

“There you are, lass,” Jack bellows, coming out of the bar. He still has that ridiculous corset on, making me laugh. Someone stuffed his bosom with different colorful scarves, making it look all the better.

He comes to plop down beside me on the fallen log I’m resting on, passing me a bottle of rum. I took a swig and handed it back to him, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Was the celebration too much for ya’?” He bumped his shoulder against mine, then took another sip of his rum.

“No. I just wanted a bit of quiet so I could think. I wanted to clear my head a bit.” I usually like all the celebrating, but with the time drawing near to returning to Hidden Cove, and all the subtle reminders of what I left behind everywhere I looked, I needed some peace away from it all.

He grunted, passing me the bottle again. “Need some more head-clearing potion? This stuff will clean whatever troubling thoughts you’re having right out.”

I smiled sadly at him, then shook my head. I think the captain uses his rum to clear out thoughts about his mate and his pack from his mind. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried. It makes it worse, remembering all the times I would try and get drunk to numb the betrayal pains I always felt.

“Well, want to tell me what’s on your mind?” he asked, setting the rum down in the sand between us.

I didn’t want to tell him what I was thinking about with Lachlan, so I said something else.

“My head maid, Mimi, has an illness and I’m worried about her. I just hope she is still alright when I get back.”

He nodded, looking off in the distance. “You said she was like your mother there?”

I smiled fondly. “Yes. She was always the one to take care of me. She did everything to make me happy and defend me, going up against anyone when she needed to. I miss her.”

He shifted beside me to look at me. “I thought you were only there for a month, you said. It’s amazing how close you got to your maid to even see her as your mother and for her to need to defend you like that. You speak of her as if you have known her for years.”

I pressed my lips together, knowing it sounded strange how well I know the happenings and the people in a pack I was never fully a part of and only spent a month living in. It also looked weird for me to say I am Lachlan’s mate, but in that month we never claimed each other. Alphas claim their mates right away for the good of their pack. I haven't told Jack or anyone about my siren heritage, worried about news getting back to my real father about my whereabouts.

I know Jack is suspicious that I am not telling him my full story, but luckily, he never presses me for more.

“Are you excited about seeing this Mimi again soon?” He asked, letting his previous comments go.

I smiled gratefully. “Yes. I truly am.”

“As am I,” he ruffled my hair. “I hope to meet this Mimi and all the others you have mentioned soon.

I sighed, wondering how that would go. I wonder how it will be showing up in Hidden Cove with Jack and his band of pirate ships. How will Cherum react? Is Cedric still there with Meldec?