Page 16 of Forever My Siren Luna
“As would I,” Percy said.
“And I,” said Maurice, who was always so kind to the orphans that I loved when he could come with us to visit them.
Many others, every warrior waiting and watching on the bridgeway leading back to the castle, and further up the docks added their agreement too.
"From my understanding," Meldec said quietly, "We all willingly fought for you back then."
"Of course we did," Cherum grinned softly at me. "You are our Luna. Even if you did reject the Alpha, as you rightly should have after the mess the bastard put you through at the time, you were still our fated Luna, and this pack would die for you. I would do it again, though Alpha refuses to tell us just who died and who didn't. And lass," he gave me that all too familiar big brother stare, "I can tell you this. He may have been a bastard in your first life, but he's been sincere in this one. Any of us can attest that the man loves you."
Val whimpered brokenly, straining to maintain her fierce aura hearing a person we both trust saying that he knows our mate loves us.
He may love us, but is love enough to overcome the past?
“Any sacrifice I had to make, I was going to for you,” Lachlan whispered at the end. “You are my mate, Lira. The love of my life. I treated you poorly, thinking you were a trap set by your uncle. I never trusted him. If he really is in cohorts with the Northern Clans, that explains a lot. The stipulation about you having to give me an heir within a certain time frame, and how I felt drawn to you without feeling the bond led me to believe that he….that he sent you to bewitch me. To trap me and my pack. I didn’t try to betray you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I was simply fighting against my desires, to protect my pack. I did it in the worst, most horrifying way possible, and I will forever regret that. I just….I just couldn’t live in a world where you didn’t exist. This pack loves you.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I love you. I know asking you to forgive me and love me back may never happen, but please don’t run away again. Please,” he falls on his knees, “just stay where I can see you and keep you safe. Let me be the one to protect you again.”
Six
“I don’t need you to keep me safe,” I whispered. “I needed you to talk to me. To listen to me.” My eyes are burning, hot tears streaming down my face. “I tried to tell you. Countless times, I tried to meet with you to tell you why you couldn’t feel the mate bond, and that I was your mate. You wouldn’t even see me. You sent me away, then would fuck one of yourLeonas, making me bare that pain.”
Someone gasped, and I hope Percy doesn't find offense with me saying this. I know Yasmin was often one of those women in my first life, but I also know she would never do that now in this life, especially with Percy as a mate now. That was one of the reasons I thought this was an alternate timeline or another world mirroring the one I died in. So much did change, but I was still married to the same person in the end....
“I didn’t know,” his voice cracked, tears running from the corners of his own eyes. “Seeing you when I didn't know made resisting you even harder.”
“THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE RESISTED!” I screamed. “IT HURT, LACHLAN!” I cried out. “You have no idea how badly it hurts to constantly feel you with other women. To have to constantly live with the pains of your mate betraying you!”
“Yes, I do,” he says flatly, his tears dripping from his squared, stubble-covered jaw.
“What?” I was never with anyone. The entire two years that we lived together in my first life, I never even talked to a man, in fear of Lachlan's fury and degrading comments if I did. Only when I absolutely had to, like when I would beg to see Lachlan. And not once in my second life did I have any sort of intimacy with another man. Did he have another mate somehow? He can not be referring to me.
“I never accepted your rejection, Lira. I felt it. Up until your death, I felt you with another man. I was never going to bring it up, but I do know what betrayal feels like. I felt it until I felt your death.”
I'm momentarily mortified, but Val is snarling in my head, knowing exactly whatbetrayalhe is referring to.
It was not a betrayal. Far from it.
“My uncle caught me before my death,” I tell him, no longer caring if this news hurts him, my reputation, or anything else. He had just announced to everyone that in our first life, I had maybe betrayed him.
No. I didn't.
I won’t have him categorize what happened to me as a betrayal. He knows nothing. “You never felt betrayal, you arrogant prick.”
His brow furrows before realization hits him and his eyes widen with anger. Cherum is growling, as well as Percy, knowing what I’m insinuating.
“Weeks. I bet it was weeks of pain you felt. Or maybe it was only a couple days. It felt like years to me at the time. A lifetime’s worth of suffering in what was probably just a short amount of time.” I turned to look at Cedric. “You said my father was trying to figure out what killed me? I used the last of my magic to take my own life. I killed myself, so I wouldn’t have to suffer the endless rape and torture from my uncle’s men any longer.”
I turned my glare back to Lachlan, who looked horrified, all the color drained from his face. “You didn’t feel my betrayal. You felt my suffering, only probably a milder version of it. I’m sure your jaw and bones didn’t break, and you never bled from the pain. You weren't bound and tied down while countless men used you. You felt something I had no choice in. I suffered from your choices you made for two years. We are not the same.”
I don't realize I am shaking with fury until Jack’s hand rests firmly on my shoulder. I blinked rapidly, looking away from Lachlan and up towards the sky, feeling everything I didn’t want to feel all over again. All the memories of that time are refreshed, thanks to this man’s naive claim that he suffered similarly to me.
He may have fought to bring me back from the dead, but that doesn’t simply take away all the other hurt he gave me. Val is pressing against the surface, wanting free. She learned her own way to work off her anger, and she is on the brink of taking over right now.
No one muttered a sound, not a single word, making my confession, the shame of it, press heavy on my shoulders. They wanted to know why I would suffer panic attacks; why I would shrink up and cower in certain situations. Now they know, and I can almost guarantee they all wish they hadn’t learned the truth now. Percy may be the only man here that can maybe understand what that time before my death meant for me, but only because his mate suffered something similar.
None of these other men have any right to judge me. None of them.
I grew stronger from the past. I am no longer that scared little girl that will just suffer at the hands of men. I have the strength to fight back. I didn't need their pity, even Jack’s, which I feel coming off him in waves. I shook off his hand, not wanting his brotherly strength right now.
Screw this. Val needs to blow off her steam, and I think I’ll take Beretta and find a way to blow off some aggression myself afterward. I’m not the weak, cowering little girl they are expecting me to be. I feel like all of them are ready for me to have a panic attack similar to the ones I had in the past.