Page 49 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10

Sunday

Alina

One Week Later

The next week was a big blur. From Miami, I flew to LAX. At the time, I didn't know why I had done it. I told myself it was because there were tons of famous people in L.A. so it would be easier to blend in. Or maybe I just belonged there since it was where all the porn stars lived.

I spent my first few days in Los Angeles hermitting in a crappy motel, only having human contact to order the bare minimum amount of food required to not starve.

I screened all my calls, and I didn't even go on my phone again after I received an email from the US ITA Committee informing me that my prize money for my gold and silver medal were being withheld pending a formal review of my disgraceful actions during the tiebreaker.

In other words, I was probably never going to see that money, and even if I did, it would be well after my dad had already sold the bakery.

After three days, I finally got the courage to go get tested for every STD in existence. When the tests all came back clean, I was finally able to admit to myself the real reason I had flown to Los Angeles: I had to see Bryce.

I knew it wasn't fair to ask him to ever speak to me again, much less forgive me, but I had to try. I loved him.

What the hell am I going to say to him?

That question consumed my thoughts for the rest of the week.

I kept trying to plan out the perfect apology, but the truth was, no apology could ever make up for what I had done.

Maybe I just wanted to see him to get some closure.

If I didn't try to get his forgiveness, it would eat away at me forever.

I was going to summon an Uber, but my phone had died days ago and my charger was in Brazil, so instead I pulled on my Brazil hoodie and aviators and got the front desk to call me a taxi.

When we arrived at the address I had found by doing some old-fashioned phonebook stalking on Bryce, I handed the cab driver my credit card to pay the fare.

"Alina Smith?" he asked, reading the name on my card. "You're the ITA tiebreaker girl, right? I didn't recognize you with that hoodie on."

"No, that's not me."

He ignored me. "Can I have your autograph? My friends are never gonna believe I met you!"

"You're mixed up. I'm pretty sure the tiebreaker girl was Aliba Stitch, not Alina Smith." Aliba? That's not even a real name.

"Are you sure? You definitely look like her." He glanced down at my chest.

"Yup. I'm sure." Is this what every day is going to be like now? I was going to need to buy an entirely new wardrobe consisting only of parkas and sunglasses.

I took my credit card back from him and got out of the cab.

Bryce lived in an apartment complex, so the door was locked and there was a call box with a list of tenants. I pushed the button next to the name Bryce Walker.

"Bryce?" I said. "It's Alina. I'm so sorry about what happened. I never meant..." I stopped to choke back tears. "I...I just want to apologize. And then you never have to see me again."

No answer.

"Please, Bryce. I'm so, so sorry."

Still no answer.

It was clear Bryce didn't want to talk to me.

I had kind of expected it, but I had been holding onto a small, ridiculous shred of hope that he would forgive me.

The reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I collapsed onto the stairs and cried my eyes out, and then I cried some more.

***

A sickly homeless man offered me part of a sandwich - a sandwich he had clearly plucked from a trashcan - while I cried on the stairs of Bryce's apartment was the final straw.

Being pitied by a homeless man was horrifying, but that alone wasn't what did it for me.

What really did it was seeing how he kept going despite literally having nothing.

Yes, I had done something awful, and yes, I had lost Bryce, but I hadn't lost everything.

I still had money, I still had my health, and no matter how much I dreaded seeing my parents and my grandma, I knew that deep down they would still love me.

I was going to have to face them eventually, so I might as well get it over with.

If I took it one day at a time, I could slowly pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

After catching a plane to Philly, I got an Uber to Kristen's apartment.

Kristen had moved into a nice apartment after graduating a few months ago. I had moved home to live with my parents. But if I had to choose between facing my parents or facing Kristen, it was an easy choice.

I pressed on the buzzer outside the building. "Kristen, it's me."

She didn't say anything, but the doors immediately buzzed open.

I took the stairs instead of the elevator, and then I stopped in front of her door.

Am I really ready to see her? She had a front row seat to my handing out blowjobs like lollipops.

I didn't know how she could ever look at me the same again.

I considered turning and running away, but before I could, the door opened.

Kristen immediately threw her arms around. "Alina, I'm so, so sorry." She immediately burst into tears. "I didn't think you were ever going to talk to me again. I'm just so happy to see you."

Her crying made me start crying. "What?" I choked through my sobs. "You're the one that shouldn't be talking to me. You saw what I did."

Kristen pulled back and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I just thought after my message..." she let her voice die away.

"I haven't listened to any of my messages. My phone died. I...I can't."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into her apartment, closing the door behind me. "Alina, what happened was all my fault."

"No it wasn't. I was like a sex craved maniac." Saying it out loud made me wince.

"No." Kristen shook her head. "Tim planned that whole thing for me. He knew the idea of multiple partners excited me. He choreographed everything that happened. He just didn't tell anyone except the backup dancers about it."

"Tim being crazy doesn't make it your fault. You just said you didn't know about it."

"I didn't know. I swear I didn't. But you don't understand. I lied." She looked down at her ankle.

For the first time, I realized she wasn't using her crutches. She didn't even have a wrap around her ankle.

"I didn't hurt my ankle. I just wanted you to have the chance to beat Gabriela."

"What?" I felt my tears biting at my eyes again. "I saw you fall..."

"I faked it. And I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know what Tim was planning at the end of the dance.

I didn't know what was going to happen. But it was supposed to be me up there.

When he found out it was you, Tim told the guys exactly what to say to trick you.

He used your relationship with Bryce to manipulate you.

For some reason he was taking the tiebreaker way too fucking seriously. He completely lost his mind."

I took a step away from her. "Kristen. My life is over. I can't go anywhere. I lost...everything." I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Tears started coming to Kristen's eyes again. "I'm sorry. Alina, please, I'm so, so sorry."

I sat down at a stool at her kitchen counter and put my face in my hands. "I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at Tim. I'm just mad at myself. How could I let it go that far?" I lifted my face out of my hands. I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Because they were encouraging you. And because Coach Hammond didn't let you have sex for a month. And because Bryce teased you all week long."

I laughed and then immediately shook my head.

"None of this is Bryce's fault." Bryce. Just thinking about him made my chest hurt.

"He's lucky he never slept with me. At first I didn't understand why he didn't try to stop me.

But then I realized that he couldn't hear what those guys said to me.

He didn't know I thought they were him. He just thought I was blowing them to win gold.

He must think...God I don't know what he thinks. "

Kristen slid into the stool next to mine. "He was too busy trying to stop the whole thing from behind the scenes. Tim didn't tell him what was going to happen either."

I pictured the hurt look on Bryce's face. God, that image was going to haunt me forever.

"Have you talked to him?" asked Kristen.

I shook my head. I knew he had called me. Before my phone died I had several missed calls from him. But I didn't know what to say. Nothing could take back what I had done. I thought seeing him in person would be better. He'd be able to see how sorry I was.

"He tried to go after you when you fled the stage. You have to call him, Alina. You were falling in love with him."

"Which is why I can't. I just can't."

Kristen let my words settle around us. She was quiet for a few minutes while she stared at me.

"Where have you been? Your parents are worried about you. No one knew where you were."

"I went to Pasadena. I thought I could talk to him.

I wanted to apologize." I shook my head.

During the worst moment of my life, Bryce was the one that I wanted.

I needed him. But it wasn't fair to him that I needed him right now.

Not after what I had done. What I really needed was a miracle.

That's what it would take for him to forgive me.

"Did you try to go see him?"

"Yes." My voice came out as more of a croak. "But he didn't let me into his apartment. He didn't even speak to me." I took a deep breath and looked down. "Kristen. I love him. If I could take it back, oh God, I wish I could just take it all back."

She got off her stool and put her arms around me. "It's going to be okay."

"No," I sobbed into her shoulder. Nothing was ever going to be okay ever again. Not if Bryce wasn't here beside me.

"Did you ever think that maybe he wasn't there?"

I shook my head.

Kristen laughed. "He was probably just out then. He likes you. If there's anything I'm sure about, it's that he likes you. And he's probably just as worried about you as I've been."

I sighed. "You think?"

"Yes. Why else would he have chased you to your dressing room and even found a security guard to help let him in when you wouldn't answer."

"Wait, you mean security wasn't there to arrest me?"

"What? Is that why you escaped out a window and disappeared?"

"Yes. I thought I was going to get arrested for public nudity or something and spend the rest of my life in some Brazilian prison."

Kristen starting laughing even harder. "Why would they let you get the gold medal and then wait until you ran off stage to arrest you? Why wouldn't they just stop the performance?"

"I don't know! Clearly I wasn't thinking straight or I wouldn't have..."

She stared at me for a second. "I'm sorry, I just have to ask...what was it like?" It looked like she was trying hard not to smile.

"You mean, shoving cocks into my mouth on live television?" I cringed as I said it. "Can we please not talk about it? How are you even looking at me after seeing me do that?"

"What, you mean because I'm so jealous of you?"

"Jealous?"

"Yes. And proud. The way you went out there and handled those two beautiful cocks. I don't know if I would have had the confidence to do that. And the way you made Gabriela look like she was about to cry. That was priceless."

I couldn't help but smile. I should have known Kristen would have my back. She was the best. Knowing there was someone in the world who didn't think I was a disgusting whore significantly improved my mood.

"So it was awesome, wasn't it?" she asked.

"No." I laughed.

"Oh my God, you loved it!"

"I didn't love it." I could feel my face turning red. "I don't know, it was weird. I thought it was Bryce, you know? I felt comfortable despite being in front of all those people because I thought it was him. It was...intoxicating."

"See, I knew I should be jealous."

"Ugh," I said with a laugh. "I wish it had been you."

"Me too."

I shook my head. "You're so ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous? You're the one that doesn't realize how big of an opportunity this is. You could have your own reality TV show now. Everyone gets their start these days by leaking a sex tape. A blowjob tape will do just fine."

I started laughing. And once I had started, I couldn't seem to stop.

"Can I please be on your TV show?" Kristen said as she gasped for air through her own laughter.

"Absolutely." It felt so good to laugh after my week of shame hibernation.

Kristen got up and grabbed a bottle of wine. "Okay, so you know I need all the juicy details, right?"

I put my hand over my eyes. "What details?"

"Like how it felt to have your lips around a stranger's cock in front of millions of people."

We both burst into laughter again.