Page 135 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10

Saturday

The possibilities went around and around in my head on repeat.

Dr. Ridge said that Penny had a concussion.

But if she was in the hospital…what if it was worse?

All I knew was that this was my fault. Her getting hurt in the first place.

Her roaming around Main Street alone. If something had happened to her…

Fear gripped my chest as I pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine.

I hurried inside. Ignoring everyone else in the waiting room, I walked up to the desk. It took less than a minute for the woman to tell me to come back tomorrow. Penny was right, visiting hours were over. But there were some pros to being rich. This woman didn’t seem like the one to bribe though.

“What room is she in?” I asked. “For when I come back tomorrow,” I added when she gave me a dirty look.

“She’s in room 216. I will see you tomorrow , sir.”

It was like she somehow knew what I was planning.

“Have a good night,” I said and walked away. When she wasn’t looking, I pushed through a side door and ran right into a male nurse. He probably looked as tired as I did.

“Sorry,” he mumbled with a yawn. “Wait, you shouldn’t be back here.” He stared at my face. “Are you here about that shiner?”

Having a black eye made everything harder. Upstanding citizens didn’t get in fist fights. And they also didn’t bribe staff members. But this guy was tired and overworked. He would do. I pulled out my wallet. “I need you to escort me to room 216.”

“Visiting hours are over.”

“I’ll make it worth your time.” I pulled out all the cash I had and placed it in his hand.

His eyes grew round. He looked at me and then back at the cash. And then back at me. He cleared his throat. “Are you related to the patient?”

“I’m her husband,” I lied.

He kept staring at me. And I knew it was because of my black eye.

“We were…mugged,” I said. Lies always seemed easier for me than the truth. “I’ve been at the station describing the incident all night. But I need to make sure she’s okay. I can’t believe they kept me so long.”

“Oh,” he said. “That’s awful that they made you go all the way to the station.” He shook his head. “Come on, follow me.”

Well, that was easy. It was a good thing I didn’t say I was her professor. I would have been out a thousand bucks and I still wouldn’t be any closer to seeing Penny.

I followed him up to the second floor and down an empty hallway. This hospital seemed understaffed. Penny needed the best care for… Fuck, I didn’t even know what had happened. I just needed to see her.

“Don’t tell anyone that I…”

I cut him off. “You got it.” Did I look like a guy that tattled? I was bribing him . We were in this shit together. I opened up the door to Penny’s hospital room.

It felt like my throat was constricting as I stared at Penny. She looked so small lying in the hospital bed. For a second I just stood there. I thought she was asleep, but then she slowly opened her eyes.

I’d been so worried. Angry. Lost. I was lost without her. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to. I knew when she needed me. I closed the door and made my way over to her bed. I kicked off my shoes, lifted the sheet off her bed, and climbed in next to her.

"James," she whispered. I could hear the emotion in her voice.

I need you too. I wrapped my arms around her. "I shouldn't have let you leave." I kissed her forehead.

"I didn't give you much of a choice."

"No, you didn't." But I still should have insisted. I kissed her forehead again. I was just happy that she seemed okay. I wanted to hold her like this forever. Her being in my arms was my favorite thing in the world. "How long have you been here?"

"We can talk in the morning."

She wasn’t getting out of this that easily. "How long, Penny?"

"Since this afternoon I guess. Not long after I left your place. I passed out on Main Street."

My chest ached. She passed out? "And someone found you?"

"Brendan."

I pulled back slightly to look down at her.

The same Brendan that she’d confessed to kissing?

I clenched my jaw. It was a good thing I hadn’t found him earlier and punched him.

"I'll have to thank him." Or maybe I’d still slug him. I hadn’t decided yet.

Had she gone to him after our fight? Why did she keep running to other guys? I just wanted her to run to me.

"How did you get up here?" she asked, trying her best to change the subject.

But Brendan’s name was seared into my mind. "Having money has its advantages."

"You bribed the hospital staff?"

The way she said it made me pause. Like she was judging me. "I didn't say that."

"I'm glad that you're here." She was quiet for a moment as she stared at me. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Even though you're not nervous around me anymore, you still like to apologize for things you haven't done." I forced a smile onto my face.

"You still make me nervous."

I lowered my eyebrows as I stared back at her. "Why?"

"You're so hot and cold. I never know how you're going to react to things. It's unsettling. And confusing."

"There's nothing to be confused about anymore. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." I promise, Penny. I placed a gentle kiss against her lips.

"Do I make you nervous too?" she asked.

I glanced down at her hand on my chest. She could probably feel how fast my heart was racing. "Sometimes. I'm nervous right now."

"Why?" She rubbed her hand against the scruff on my cheek.

"You left me today because you needed time to think over things." I pulled her hand away from my face and kissed her palm. "And I can't tell what you're thinking." I turned her hand over and kissed each of her knuckles. "I don't know what you've decided."

"I opened my present."

I swallowed hard. "And?"

"You've never opened up to me like that before."

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Penny."

"Why is it so hard for you to talk to me?"

I took a deep breath. "Most people look at me and judge me in one second. I'm well off. My parents are well off. They think everything has been handed to me. And when I was younger, it was. So I can't correct their opinion. I haven't met anyone who sees more than that."

"Because you refuse to open up. So what else are they supposed to see?"

"You see more."

"That's because I don't care about your money. I care about you."

That was all I’d ever wanted. For someone to care about me and not what I could offer them. "I know. I'm trying, Penny. I'm not used to this."

"This?"

"The way I feel about you." I’d written that I loved her in the letter. But I was having trouble reading her tonight. I was worried that saying the words out loud would just scare her away. She was 20 now, but we were still at very different stages in our lives.

"I've never been in love before,” she said.

"I know." I ran my fingers through her red hair. God, I’d missed this. I’d missed us.

"Have you?" she asked.

Dr. Clark and I had beaten this subject to death. And I’d never been more sure of the answer. I stared down at her. "I've never felt like this."

"Does love always hurt this much?"

I don’t know. Maybe. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I don't want to ever hurt you again."

"You're not good for me."

Fuck. Who was telling her that? Tyler? Brendan? It didn’t matter, because it was true. I sighed and put my arms around her again. "No, I'm not."

"But I love you anyway."

It wasn’t the first time she’d said it to me.

I pictured her straddled on top of me on my bed, confessing her lies.

Confessing her love. She’d said it in a state of desperation.

And now she was saying it again, but I wasn’t sure if she’d even remember it in the morning.

But it still made my heart feel warm. Like her goodness was seeping into me.

A tear slid down her cheek. "I'm sorry. Geez, I don't know why I'm so emotional today."

"It's a side effect of having a concussion."

"Oh." She laughed and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

No one should look this beautiful when they cried. "You're so gorgeous."

She laughed. "I have a huge bandage on my head."

"You're still gorgeous."

She slowly reached up and traced the bruise around my eye with her index finger. "I love you."

I had no right to be loved by her. And her words haunted me.

Does love always hurt this much? I was so tired of hurting her.

And I was scared that saying it back to her meant she’d be doomed for the rest of her life.

A life with me. I tried to push away the thought, but it clung to me. So I didn’t say it back.

And I wasn’t just scared of hurting her.

I’d never truly given my heart to someone before.

I didn’t like how out of control that made me feel.

But I did love her. I’d told her as much in my letter to her.

She knew it. I didn’t need to say it out loud.

I loved her so much I physically ached when we were apart.

I love you. I ran the tip of my nose down the length of hers. You know that I love you.

"I'm actually really tired now." She rolled over so that she was no longer facing me.

Fuck. She was going to keep pressing this, wasn’t she? "Hey." I leaned over and grabbed her chin in my hand. "What's wrong?" I asked, even though I already knew.

She sat up so that my hand fell from her skin. "Why won't you say it?"

"Say what?"

"I've told you multiple times that I love you. You never say it back. Why won't you say it?"

"I have said it." I wasn’t sure what I was so scared of really. This was what a relationship was. Feeling vulnerable. And when she was staring up at me with tears pooling in the corners of her eyes, it didn’t seem so scary to be vulnerable too.

I could do this. It didn’t mean she’d be doomed.

It didn’t mean she’d run away. What we had was real.