Page 153 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10

Tuesday

“I’m sorry, you did what?” my lawyer Litt said.

I sighed and sat down behind my desk. “Are you really going to make me repeat myself?”

“You slept with a student?”

What was he not getting here? “Yes. And I want to disclose it to the dean tomorrow.”

“I need a lot more information than that.”

“Look, the details don’t matter…”

“The details absolutely do matter here, James.”

Breathe. “I had Ian check out the university’s policies. And there’s nothing explicitly listed against it.”

“Well, Ian’s not a lawyer. You should have called me weeks ago.”

“That’s why I’m calling you now. I just want to know what the next steps should be.”

“The next steps? James, stop sleeping with your students.”

“ Student . Singular.” Why did everyone just assume I was fucking all my students? Shit, the dean would probably just assume the same thing. “I’m forwarding you a copy of the university’s code of ethics.” I sent off the email. “I just need you to comb through it and help me out here.”

“Does Isabella know?”

Why the hell did people keep asking me that? I was starting to regret not telling every media outlet about my ex-wife’s love of infidelity. Breathe. In this one instance, I actually wasn’t the monster. She was. “What I do is none of her business. You saw the signed papers.”

“But you started sleeping with your student before the divorce was finalized. You know how that looks.”

“I really don’t care how it looks. I just want to keep my job. Look at the papers and call me back.”

“James, I’ll be honest with you. Regardless of whatever it does or doesn’t say in the code of ethics…this isn’t going to end well. I think you need to be prepared to walk away from whoever this girl is.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Then you’re probably going to need to walk away from your job.”

“I called you so that I wouldn’t have to walk away from anything. Find a loophole. Figure something out.”

“Give me a few hours,” he said. “But my best recommendation is to not tell the dean anything. At least until the end of the semester.”

I thought about Isabella. And how angry she’d been. There was no way she wouldn’t leak this to the press before the end of the semester. She’d want to beat me to it and save face.

But it wasn’t just about her threats. I knew the consequences of loving someone in secret. Back in high school, Matt had done that. And that was a series of events that no one would have seen coming. But an innocent girl had died.

I wouldn’t love Penny in secret. I’d love her out loud.

Besides, if there was one thing I’d actually learned in therapy, it was that the truth was always better.

I’d finally told Penny that I was an addict.

And I’d never felt closer to her. I wasn’t going to take one step forward and then two more back.

“No,” I said. “I’m telling the dean tomorrow. Just find something to give me my best chance of keeping my job.”

“Give me a few hours,” he said. “But I’m not a genie.” He hung up the phone.

I stood up and walked over toward my windows overlooking Main Street. I loved my work here. And I loved Penny.

But I think I always knew in the back of my head that I’d have to make a choice here. Teaching was my fresh start. I’d poured everything I had into it. I had a good routine here. Structure. I was worried what would happen if I lost that.

My phone buzzed. I looked down to see a text from Ellen. It was like she knew I was struggling.

“I’m coming in tomorrow. I did not leave you enough meals for this long and I’m concerned that you’re starving.”

I laughed. Well, I wasn’t starving. But I appreciated her concern. “See you tomorrow, Ellen,” I texted back.

I knew who I actually needed to talk to. I pressed on Dr. Clark’s name and pulled my phone to my ear.

He answered after a few rings. “James? Is everything alright?”

“I…I don’t really know.” It felt like someone was closing their fist around my heart.

“I’ve been looking forward to our next session. To see if you went through with everything. You said you were done torturing yourself for your past mistakes. You acknowledged that you’re allowed to be happy. So what happened?”

“I told Penny the truth.”

“Ah. You showed her the real you. And?”

“She didn’t run away screaming.” The pain in my chest eased slightly and I smiled. She hadn’t run away. Instead she was lying naked in my bed.

“That’s good. So why the late-night call then?”

Main Street was quiet down below. A sound I never heard on the streets of New York. I couldn’t hear honking cars or sirens. Just…silence.

“I don’t want to keep my relationship with Penny a secret anymore. I’m going to tell the dean tomorrow morning. I think.”

“You think?”

I turned away from the window and sat back down at my desk. “I called my lawyer asking for advice, and he thinks it would be better if I waited to disclose my relationship with Penny until the end of the semester.”

“And you don’t want to wait?”

“I’m not even sure I have a choice,” I said. “Isabella will leak it in a matter of days anyway. It’s better to get ahead of it.”

“So why the hesitancy on your end?”

“I don’t want Penny to doubt my intentions here.

By keeping our relationship a secret, isn’t that what I’d be doing?

The last thing I want her to think is that I’m embarrassed or something.

Because I’m not.” I knew that didn’t answer his question.

I was rambling. Trying to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in my head and the fear gripping my chest.

“I believe you. I still don’t see the problem.”

“My lawyer thinks I’ll probably be fired.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

I ran my hand across my desk. “I’m worried. This job has been good for me. The structure and routine that I’ve needed. You said yourself how necessary that is for me.”

“This relationship has pulled you away from your routine though. In a good way.”

“But I slipped.”

There was a long pause on his end. “Do you think that maybe Penny is the key to you being content? Not the job?”

“I only slipped when I started dating her. I was in a really good place before I ran into her.”

“Were you really?”

I frowned. “Wasn’t I?”

“James, I never once saw you smile during a session before you met Penny. Not a single time.”

I swallowed hard.

“Let’s look at this from a different angle. Say you do get fired tomorrow. You do need something to focus on. Something to preoccupy your mind when Penny is in classes during the day.”

“I’m working on some stuff.”

He waited for me to elaborate, but I didn’t want to go into the logistics of my security system that really hadn’t worked. I needed to put more time into it.

“Alright,” he said. “Good. And you’ll still be surrounded by people who care about you. Penny. Ellen. Ian.”

“And Rob,” I said.

“Your brother?”

What other Rob would I be talking about? “Yeah. He’s going to be visiting this weekend.” That was misleading. He wasn’t visiting for just the weekend. I was pretty sure he had nowhere else to go. He’d be staying indefinitely.

“Hmm,” Dr. Clark said.

“Hm?”

“You’ve taken a step away from all your family and friends with your move. It’s a lot to quit your job, start hanging out with Rob again, and being in a new relationship.”

Fuck my life. I knew he’d think it was a bad idea. “I want to work on repairing my relationships.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do.” Why the hell wouldn’t I?

“Well, that’s good. But it might not be the best time. In the midst of so much change, James.”

I shook my head. “This isn’t all about me. Yes, I’m worried about quitting. But this is about Penny too.”

“Well let’s talk about that for a moment. What would you getting fired do to her? Or maybe you don’t get fired, but you still come clean to the dean? How does that affect her?”

I pictured Penny in class. How shy and nervous she was during presentations. “Well, first of all, I wouldn’t be her professor anymore.” Which really fucking sucked. “Under either circumstance, really. She’d have to take the class over.”

“I’m sure she’s not looking forward to that.”

“No. She definitely won’t be.”

“What else?” Dr. Clark asked.

“There will be rumors. Things can so easily be twisted.”

“What kind of rumors do you think will spread?”

I shook my head. “Better grades for sexual favors. That kind of thing.”

“That certainly wouldn’t make her feel good,” he said.

“I’m sorry, what is the point of this exercise?” I asked. “I know none of this is good.”

“Well, say the worst happens. You get fired and Penny gets expelled.”

“I won’t let her get expelled for this.”

“James, her fate isn’t in your hands. Let me say it again. Say the worst happens. What then?”

“I’d help her get accepted into another university.

We’d move. Maybe we’d go to New York.” Penny claimed she didn’t love the city.

But she definitely had a good time there with me.

And I meant what I said…I did want to repair my friendships.

I knew things were especially tense between me and Matt.

But he needed me. And I was finally in a place where I could help him.

“So she’d have to leave all her friends behind? Retake all her classes? And is her family in Delaware? You expect her to move away from everything she knows and loves?”

Well, fuck. “She loves me.”

“James, I want you to close your eyes for second.”

“Why? I don’t need to mediate right now, I just need to calm down enough to figure out what the best course of action is.”

“Close your eyes.”

I laughed. “Fine, Doc.” I closed my eyes.

“Take a deep breath for me.”

“Are you going to try to hypnotize me or something? Because I really don’t think…”

“James, breathe.”

I took a deep breath.

“I want you to put yourself in Penny’s shoes. Do you remember when you were a sophomore in college? A million years ago?”

“Not funny.”

“A little funny,” Dr. Clark said.

I shook my head.

“Picture yourself back in college. Surrounded by all your friends. Picture one of your best memories.”

I took a deep breath and pictured myself at the Gryphon Club, a final club at Harvard. Mason and I had been accepted freshman year, but we got to live in the mansion sophomore year. The two of us always had fun.

But it was always better when it was all four of us. Me, Mason, Rob, and Matt. I remembered a weekend where Matt and Rob were visiting. They were two years younger than Mason and me and they were seniors at Empire High at the time. We’d wanted to give them a taste of how fun college was.

“Did you choose a memory?” Dr. Clark asked.

“Yeah, one of the best nights.”

“Tell me all about it.”

I closed my eyes tighter as the memory came back…