Page 46 of Falling for You

So, it turns out, if your body is filled with angry snakes that are carrying burning emotions that you don’t quite know what to do with, just go to your happy place and bathe in it.

I left the shop with Stevie’s measurements, some extra fabric and the promise that I’d deliver the dress back to him by noon the next day.

Most of all, I left with a fire in my belly, and guess what?

It burnt the snakes. They left. I know they’ll come back, but while I’m hunched over my sewing machine, there isn’t any room for them. There is only happiness here.

I glance back over at my notebook and check my sketch.

Stevie’s costume had a corset, and a billowing, flared skirt with panels of different green fabric with a huge slit up one of the sides.

The stitching of the skirt had come undone, meaning it wasn’t fully attached to the corset.

It’s a beautiful dress, but it doesn’t scream Wicked Witch of the West. It’s more like a ballgown, or a green wedding dress.

I did say this, and asked Stevie if he minded if I embellished it slightly, and he said he didn’t.

To be honest, I think he was so grateful to have me helping him that he would have agreed to anything.

I’m adding a cape with a high, jagged collar and a pair of glistening, evil eyes on the back shoulder. So, when he turns, it will look as if one of the flying monkeys is hidden behind the cape, ready to leap out and rip someone’s throat out at the slightest command.

I stretch the fabric under the machine and remove some of the pins holding it in place when I hear my bedroom door open.

‘Ohhhh, what are you making?’

It’s Tanya, who climbs onto my bed. She picks up my assortment of pillows and cushions and props them behind her, before curling her long legs under her body like a cat and turning to face me.

I furrow my brow as the slippery fabric twists out of place. ‘It’s … a … witch … costume,’ I say, in between pinning the fabric back together. ‘I’ve got to turn it around by tomorrow morning, though.’

‘Gosh!’ Tanya gasps. ‘That’s a tight deadline!’

‘It’s a different type of commission,’ I explain. ‘It’s someone I met in the fabric shop this afternoon.’

‘Have you not been at work today?’ Tanya frowns.

I shake my head, skimming the fabric under the machine. ‘Pam gave me the afternoon off.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, fine,’ I mutter. ‘She wants me to be CEO while she goes travelling for a year.’

‘She … what ?’ My eyes are still firmly glued to the fabric, but I can tell Tanya is gaping at me. ‘She …’ Tanya repeats. ‘She offered you CEO? What? I mean … PENNY!’ she yells. ‘Come here!’

A moment later I hear Penny stumble through the door, followed by a smell of rich tomato sauce. ‘What?’ she says. ‘I’m in the middle of dinner.’

‘Annie has been offered CEO!’ Tanya cries, pushing herself to sit up straight.

‘ What? ’ Penny says. ‘Annie, is that true?’

The skirt snaps back again and I throw my head back and groan. God, this fabric is a nightmare.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘Pam wants to take off for a year and she offered me the job this afternoon.’

‘Wow,’ Penny breathes, perching next to Tanya on the bed. ‘Congratulations, Annie. That’s huge.’

I shrug, suddenly feeling like I might burst into tears.

‘What?’ Tanya says, leaning forward. ‘What is it? Are you okay?’

Why is it that you can be doing quite well at holding in all your horrible emotions, then as soon as someone nice asks if you’re okay you suddenly start sobbing like a newborn baby?

Does this happen to everyone? Or is it just the emotionally unstable?

I’m asking for a friend. Or, well, I’m not.

Because that’s what’s happening to me. Right now.

‘Annie!’ Tanya cries, pulling me into a hug as Penny leaps up and returns with a box of tissues. ‘What is it?’

I take a tissue gratefully and dab my eyes.

‘Take a deep breath,’ Penny says sternly. I copy her as she breathes in and out, letting the breath shoot out of my mouth in one short, sharp blow.

‘What’s going on?’ Penny says after a moment. ‘What’s making you so upset?’

‘Don’t you want the job?’ Tanya asks. Her question brings the snakes back, all angry and fast, wrapping themselves around my body.

‘Yeah …’ I say. ‘It’s a great opportunity. And I love my job.’ I take a deep breath. ‘It’ll mean that I get to live by myself in a nice flat, and I’ll maybe be able to afford to buy somewhere someday. I’ll set myself up.’

Tanya and Penny look at each other.

‘Yeah …’ Penny says gently. ‘That’s true. But what else?’

I open and close my mouth, unable to get the words that are swimming in my mind in the right order. Penny catches me glance towards my sewing machine and sighs.

‘You’re worried you won’t be able to carry on with your business,’ she says.

I nod, my eyes welling up again. ‘I guess …’ I say, my voice thick as I push the tissue to my eyes. ‘I guess I always thought that one day I might do all of this as my proper job, not just as a hobby, and taking on this CEO job just feels like I’m walking away from that.’

‘You could still do it, though,’ Tanya says. ‘You’ve always done this alongside working full-time, and absolutely smashed it.’

I shake my head. ‘I see how hard Pam works. If I take this on, I won’t have any time to do it. I won’t be able to turn around commissions like this; I’ll have to give it up and like, just make the odd costume here and there.’

I make the mistake of looking at Tanya. Her eyes are wide with worry and are shining back at me.

‘Why are you crying?’ I laugh, poking her with my foot.

She laughs and shakes her head. ‘I just want you to be happy, Annie.’

I exhale slowly. ‘I need to take this job,’ I say. ‘It’s the right thing to do. It’s the sensible thing to do. It’s just hard, isn’t it? The idea of giving up your dreams.’

‘You can always come back to it,’ Penny says gently. ‘It doesn’t have to be forever.’

I shrug and we all sink into silence. I can almost feel Tanya scrabbling around, trying to find a way to fix everything, and Penny, trying to think of a way to make me feel better.

‘Shall I make us a tea?’ Tanya says, giving my hand a squeeze.

I nod. ‘I need to finish making this, though.’

Penny shakes her head. ‘ You come before work, Annie. And right now, you need a cup of tea.’

Tanya gets to her feet. ‘And there’s a new series of Come Dine with Me .’

‘Come on.’ Penny stands up, holding her hand out. ‘Work and big life decisions can wait. Dinner can’t.’

I let her pull me to my feet and we both walk into the living room.

Tanya brings us tea and Penny serves us her homemade spaghetti bolognese as we curl up on the sofa, which is too small for the three of us but we make it work.

We sit under a blanket and watch Come Dine with Me .

As I sit there, all I want to do is reach out and fold this moment into a bottle so I can keep it forever.