Page 108 of Falling for You

‘What?’ I ask, my throat dry and scratchy.

‘I saw you,’ Stevie says accusingly. ‘You left halfway through my show! You’ve been in London for six weeks and this is the first time you come and see me, and then you leave halfway through!’

I drop my head into my hands.

I left as soon as I walked away from Annie. I just couldn’t take it any more. The music was too loud, the scent of alcohol too strong, the lights were too bright, the laughter and screams were too … I don’t even know. I just had to leave. I sent Remy a message and jumped in a cab. As soon as I got home, I lay on the sofa for hours, staring at the ceiling. My head was spinning from the mixture of spirits and adrenaline swirling around my body, a million different thoughts erupting.

I never thought I’d see her again. I’d written her off, I’d let her go.

Well, of course I hadn’t actually let her go. Life would be much easier if you could let someone go just like that, someone who broke your heart, when hours before you were planning your life with them, thanking your lucky stars that you’d finally found the person you’d spent your whole life searching for. But I’d accepted the reality check. Life isn’t a movie. Life is hard, and shitty, and sad.

Round and round the thoughts went until I finally fell asleep, waking up a few hours later with a stiff neck from Stevie’s lumpy sofa as he came back. I crawled straight into bed, too tired to brush my teeth or even drink some water. Now, I feel as though something has died in my mouth. Although, I have made it back onto the sofa.

‘I know,’ I say, my voice muffled between my cupped hands. ‘I’m sorry. Everything got a bit dramatic. You were so great, though.’

Stevie gives me an expectant look and then tuts. ‘I’ve got breakfast plans,’ he says. ‘Do you want to come?’

I shake my head. ‘I booked us flights for tomorrow, did you see?’

He nods, wrapping a large scarf around his neck. ‘I’ve already started packing.’

I hold my hand up to him as a goodbye and he slams the door. It sends a shudder through my weak, pathetic body.

Why did I do shots? I flop back down onto the sofa and shut my eyes.

I didn’t mean to get angry last night. It’s not who I am, and I never would have thought I could be so angry withAnnie. The brightest person I’ve ever met. But as soon as I saw her, it all poured out of me. I couldn’t see her and not be filled with a boiling rage. How could you leave so easily? Did you not feel the same way as I did? How could you do that to me?

But as soon as I said it I knew there was no point. I’d learnt my lesson. We weren’t meant to be. I just needed to go back home.

I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I know I’m being pulled out of a dream where I’m about to do a penalty shoot-out for Chelsea, when my phone vibrates next to me. I lurch awake, a damp patch of drool pooled into the sofa. I scrabble around for my phone and see Mom is video-calling me.

God, how long was I asleep for?

I force myself to sit up and take the call, expecting to see her warm, smiley face that might, for a moment, make my hangover and inescapable existential dread disappear. But she looks furious.

‘Mom?’ I say, alarmed by her expression. ‘Are you okay?’

‘No!’ Mom says at once, making me jump with her abrupt tone. ‘What’s this about you coming home?’

I raise myself up on my elbow and lean my throbbing head against my hand.

‘I’ve booked flights for tomorrow,’ I say. ‘For me and Stevie.’

‘And?’

I pause.

‘And what?’ I say.

‘And you’re coming back to live in New York, like your dad has just told me?’ Her face is scrunched up in annoyance.

‘Linda,’ I hear Dad’s voice somewhere in the background, ‘he wants to come back home.’

I sigh. ‘Yeah. I thought you’d be pleased,’ I add, sounding like a petulant child.

‘Well, I’m not!’

‘Thanks.’