Page 213 of Falling for You

I slam the door shut and run down the stairs, trying to fight the panic that’s boiling up. I jump on the first bus I see, and send a final message to Nate.

We’re not right for each other.

And then I block his number.

I rest my head against my headboard, closing my heavy eyes. They burn as I shut them, as if they’re begging me to keep them closed so they can have a break from the tears I’ve cried in the past hour. I got back at about three this afternoon and have been alone ever since.

The longer I spent on the bus, alone with my thoughts, the more it all made sense.

He ran out the first time we met when his phone rang, he said he was only at the speed dating to help out a friend, he didn’t message me back after our first date …

He was never serious about me. Of course he wasn’t. He didn’t feel any of the feelings I did. I was just one of many girls to him.

I switched my phone off as soon as I sent the message. I knew Nate wouldn’t be able to message me, but, worse than that, I couldn’t face my parents. I couldn’t deal with the excited, bubbly messages that were about to pop through from them both, asking how our journey back was and when we’d be coming to stay again. Saying how much they loved Nate and howniceit was to see meso happy.

A part of me tried to wonder if I’d got it wrong. Could the bra have belonged to a friend? But a friend doesn’t leave without a bra, do they? You only take your bra off with a guy if you’re …

My eyes sting. I don’t want to think about it.

I wince as I hear a knock on my bedroom door and peel an eye open to see Tanya and Penny poking their heads around. As soon as Tanya sees me, she gasps and runs straight over, throwing her arms around my neck. This just makes me cry all over again.

‘Oh my God, Annie! What’s wrong?’

‘What’s going on? Is everyone okay?’ I feel a thud next to me as Penny sits on the bed.

‘Is it about us?’ Tanya says, her arms still firmly grippedaround my body. ‘We’ve been feeling so awful about it all weekend. I’m thinking about not taking the job so I can stay here with you both.’

‘And I’ll make Mike move in here,’ Penny adds. ‘It’ll be fine.’

I take a deep breath, my face hot from being squashed into Tanya’s face, and dab my cheeks with the back of my hands.

‘No,’ I say. ‘It’s not that.’

‘Well, then what?’ Tanya asks, her eyes wide. ‘What is it?’

‘Hang on.’ Penny holds up a hand. ‘Do we need tea, or wine?’

‘Wine,’ Tanya and I say in unison.

‘Okay.’ Penny scrambles to her feet. ‘Don’t start without me.’

Twenty minutes later and I’ve finished telling them the whole story. How I bumped into Nate at the train station, how my parents took him in, how we had dinner together, how we chatted, alone, for hours, how we kissed, how we slept together … how I found women’s underwear in his flat, strewn across the floor like they’d been freshly ripped off someone else’s body. The note telling him to call Jane if he needed ‘cheering up’.

‘Oh myGod!’ Tanya cries. ‘I can’t … I can’t believe that.’

‘What a bastard!’ Penny snarls, refilling my wine glass.

‘And you’re sure that’s what it was?’ Tanya says desperately. ‘You’re sure the bra didn’t belong to another flatmate, or a mate, or …’

I shake my head. ‘It’s just him and his brother, who’s gay.He said it was just the two of them. And he told me there wasn’t anyone else, I asked him.’

‘Fuck,’ Tanya holds her hands to her forehead, ‘I just … I’m so sorry, Annie. I can’t believe it.’

‘Neither can I.’

I take a deep breath, but it’s no use, my eyes are brimming with tears again in seconds.

‘Oh, Annie!’ Tanya wails. ‘Please don’t cry over him, he’s not worth it.’